I have done this many times and have had good results. But is it rude? Ladies how do you feel if a guy calls you up and asks you out for that night?
I don’t think it’s rude, but it’s likely to be highly ineffective with people you just met. Mostly it depends on the guy, I guess. If it’s someone I have been dating a while and really like, last-minute invitations are always welcome, even if not always viable. If it’s someone I just met, I’m unlikely to change my plans for him, even if my plans are to lay on the couch and watch tv.
What Diana said. It smacks too much of a booty call, or else “Well, I couldn’t find anything better to do”, even if you don’t mean it that way.
Depends on the circumstances. If he just heard about some cool event happening that night, I wouldn’t think it rude. But to just call me up and expect me to be free for dinner is definitely presumptuous.
A friend of mine who was flirting with mixing the book “The Rules” which was popular a while back with her Match.com (or eHarmony or whatever) stuff found a rule which specifically stated that if the man does not ask the woman out by Wednesday for a Saturday night date she should turn him down. Being too willing to drop your plans for the guy doesn’t fit into their playing hard to get mindset.
Days other than Saturday required less notice, and I don’t know how the Rules felt about same-day asking.
And my inclination is mostly the same as others–I’m more likely to be willing to change my plans for an established relationship than for someone I’ve just met, even (or sometimes especially) if my prior plans were boring but relaxing.
I’m not impressed with guys who are unwilling to plan something in advance with me. Last minute dates/outings are fine if we’re just friends who already know each other well, but if it’s someone new, a tres casual attitude can be a turnoff because it makes me think they are too lazy, too unreliable, or too arrogant to treat me or my time seriously. If I don’t have other plans, I may agree to go out with those guys, but they will lose points.
If the guy acknowledges that it’s a last minute request but he really wants to take me to a one-night event, then I don’t mind that at all it.
What’s with all the “changing plans” stuff? The basic rule of my schedule is the person who confirms with me first gets the slot. If you call me up last minute, I’m not going to break plans with someone else just for you, because that would be rude.
That said, I don’t really mind your asking, and if I happen to be free and your suggestion sounds sufficiently interesting, sure I’ll go (unless you’ve been establishing a pattern of expecting me to be free at the last minute and twist my schedule to accommodate your whims. If you don’t respect my time, you don’t respect me). Just don’t get pouty if I do have other plans.
If a guy is expecting such a thing to be a booty call, however, he’s going to be disappointed. (Unless he’s my boyfriend, since at that point he can reasonably expect it’ll happen whenever we have time for it to.)
To me there’s nothing inherently rude about it.
If it became evident on the date that the date was originally planned with someone else in mind, that would be distressing.