Assault With A Loaded Iguana

Lizards are weapons in Ohio.
Who knew?

Who newt?

Good thing it wasn’t a chameleon. Otherwise he’d be charged with carrying a concealed weapon.

Not sure who the real victim is in this story…

He should have used a weasel (or marten, or mink, depending on who you believe). A man was acquitted of either throwing the animal at someone, or punching someone who asked why he was carrying the animal, again depending on who you believe.

Meanwhile, in Mississippi, a man was fined for throwing a pig at hotel employees. It was his SECOND animal throwing offense.

What.

having been to a perkins just once lets just say it was such a negative experience i can remeber it almost 35 years later i say plead him to aggravated assault …

There’s a lot of it about, it seems –

Iguana? Pfft. For me it’s gila monsters or nothing when it’s go time.

A Komodo Dragon might have been more effective, but it’s difficult to conceal it under your shirt.

Heh. I’ve eaten iguana, but not at Perkins.

That was a cold=blooded thing to do.

The iguana, of course.

If the perpetrator is found guilty, I wonder if he’ll have the option of serving time under home detention. In which case, he’ll likely have to have a monitoring lizard.

Florida Man would have used an alligator.

How do you know the iguana was loaded? Did they do a tox screen?