I was perusing (lurking) the Boards when I ventured into this thread.

I only got to post #16 when my head exploded and I actually got so angry that I wanted to dip my hands into this monitor screen and choke your motherfucking throat until you passed out.
Yeah. YOU…YOU —>>>Oakminster<<<— YOU fucker … you freaking Sanctimonious AssWipe.

I haven’t even read the rest of the thread, I’m so fucking angry.

Actually, the human asshole has more class than you will ever have.

I think he was attempting a tough love approach. But, deep breaths, ok? Remember, it’s just a message board.

Sorry Oakminster, I just got back to the thread and I see that you were trying to help.
But that first approach of yours is not going to help.
I just took as highly offensive the way your first response appeared. That was not the way to handle it.

Thank you Captain Amazing. It just rubbed me the wrong way because I’ve almost been in the same situation.
I thought it came across as flippant.
My apologies.

I totally flew off the handle there. It’s a touchy subject with me personally. I should have read the whole thread. I’m terribly sorry.

Could I request of the mods that this stupid pit be closed?

Wait…it’s the Pit. Let the bonfire begin.
I deserve it after all…:smack:

I read that post the same way at first, your ire is understandable. Then again I hate Oakminister so I’m biased.

Don’t you think it’s fascinating that both your and Oakminster’s posts are object lessons for how angry posting, whether genuine or in jest, is often misbegotten and counterproductive?

I don’t know. I thought Oakminster was being flippant about the subject at hand. I just got so angry at his initial post I flew off the handle.
Like I said, I should have just finished my coffee and finished the thread before flaming out here.
I hardly know anyone here, but his comment just rubbed me the wrong way.
And, yes, it was counterproductive. I just had to vent.
I did apologize via PM.


Sometimes those who “attempt” suicide later succeed. That is why that approach is never the right one, whether someone is trying to help or not.

This could be interpreted as a challenge by the troubled individual. As the lead paragraphs, that may be all he reads. Tell him he doesn’t want to commit suicide, but don’t tell him like that. Tell him and list the reasons, for example.

Just to be clear - Oakminster came back shortly later and apologized. link to that post

I have no feelings about Oakminster one way or another, but as Pit Threads go, this one’s about a 2.

Oakminster didn’t apologise for the advice he posted; he apologised for causing offence.

Just for clarification.

Why the O face? OK I’m just highly annoyed with his posts, rather than hate. Hate is a strong word.

Oakminster and I have no love for each other. We usually cross swords in threads we both participate in. So understand I am not a fanboy or somesuch here.

I, personally, did not find much to be offended about in his post. A bit strong, probably could have been worded a bit more delicately but then his style has always been blunt (which I personally do not like but being blunt is not in and of itself a bad thing and it has its place).

Frankly it is about as sensitive a post as I have seen him make (note that is relatively speaking). I think he was trying to not be accusatory but rather was giving advice honestly and with the intent to help. That counts for something (in my book at least). You can of course disagree with the advice or style but I think his heart was in the right place which, to me at least, matters.

Again, there is no love lost between the two of us. I just think he is getting a bit of a raw deal here. There are plenty of other things he says to beat him up for. :wink:

But then the OP has also admitted they jumped the gun, should have read the thread all the way through, and snapped because it’s a tender subject. So they’ve taken their lumps as well :slight_smile:

I have no comment on the substance of this thread, but wanted to express my admiration for the minimalist thread title. Asshole–the apotheosis of the Pit.

As I said in that thread, my approach is what it is. I offered the best advice I had, in good faith. I think everyone else did the same thing. Duke is free to choose whatever approach works for him.

Does that include suicide?

And this is why the “tough love” approach needs to be used very, very carefully. If you try it with the wrong person, especially someone you don’t know well, it can make *them *fly off the handle and into rash, sometimes fatal, behavior.

I’ve seen some Psych Nurses use it well, but they have years of experience and are in front of the person in question, observing their reaction and ready to cease or intervene if that approach makes things worse. I would not attempt it with an internet acquaintance. That’s the part of Oakminster’s approach I think merits concern (if not a Pitting): that he just doesn’t know the mental state of the person at the other end of the monitor, and his words could have (but didn’t) have pushed an already admittedly fragile person over the edge.

** winces **