This jibba-jabba
Proves you are no match for me
I pity you, foo’
Think you’re man enough?
Bring it on, you pencil-neck!
Pimp-slapping ensues
Amateurs! Peons!
Face the fury of my fists!
All who resist, die.
Your tired quotes from
Mr. T make me laugh. He
Couldn’t beat Rocky.
In Shaolin temple,
I was pimp-slapped everyday.
Now, I am immune.
Feet give quiet flight
Bounding upwards top of trees
Like crouching tiger
Swing head to unleash
Giant ponytail razor
Cuts you like ribbon
Thumb rubs on my nose
My fingers motion come here
Spirit of Bruce Lee
Speaking of Bruce Lee
He kicked the ass of Norris
Enter the dragon
It just will not fit
The phrase I want to use now
My Kung Fu is bet… … …
I left out a dot
In the last of my haiku
Shame is on my School
You claim Shaolin name?
Master Po spits at you! White
eyes flash in contempt!
If kamikaze
wrote no better than this, no
oka bombs would fall!
Baka! Admit de-
feat! (Damn. Why don’t syllables
fall the way I want?)
Billy Blanks taught me well
Tae Bo haiku dominates
pantywaists like you
Kneel down o weak ones
my verse is as steely as
my six pack of abs
my haiku technique
will win without a problem
come, meet your demise
i need not my fists
i will defeat you with word
die at my pen, bitch
hold on a minute
i have to change the station
and scratch my testes
[haiku mode off]
I swear to god, I woke up this morning and was lying there blissfully half-awake and suddenly I thought “HOLY CHRIST! ‘Billy Blanks taught me well’ has too many syllables!” It was the first thing that ran across my mind.
I need serious, serious help. And I don’t mean to cope with the humiliation of screwing up a haiku.
At any rate, let’s change it to “B. Blanks taught me well”
[/haiku mode off]
I lay in the chair
Insert plug into my skull
I now know kung-fu!
MrVisible
with bloodcurdling Screech of Death
enters the wordfight
Trips over shoelace
rockets nimbly out window
bounces off awning
Swaying in Autumn
The willow tree bends to find
Mundi’s Fist of Death!
Spiritus focused
All chi flows to one stillness
Miller lies defeated
Tae Bo makes much noise
Billy Blanks has rock-hard abs
And glass jaw. Too bad.
Mundi cannot count
Chi falters. Spiritus acks!
Miller undefeat-
ed
“my six pack of abs”
a hilarious riposte
I fell off my chair
MrVisible
Control-Alt-Delete. Goodbye
to your kung-fu, punk.
And as for the rest,
You are all found unworthy.
I am SO damn cool.
Who next shall fall to
My unlikely weapons and
Clumsy wirework?
miller, you have asked
now death comes for you tonight
on little cat feet
silently come i
you do not see my finger
poke you in the eye
now you are blinded
you cannot see your haiku
and it is sloppy
death, you are no more
miller, i drag your corpse out
for the boards to see
Has ninja haiku
Come and gone, without a trace?
Who can ever know?
Tris
Triskadecamus
Spiritus bows to the master.
Wait! Where has he gone?
New ninja enters
“Crouching Tiger, Hidden Death
comes for you” he screams.
Melodramatic
I know. However, beware
The Kazanator
He haikus with speed
of mongoose and with the long
black tongue of giraffe.
“Bring it on!” says he
Snarling with dreadful wrath
Also his mad stank
“Who the man now, dog?”
Sean Connery has nothing
I’m better then Bond
My glove is thrown, bitch.
I can take you all, fear me.
Kaz is next master.
Cranky cannot count
but neither can spiritus
I weep with joint shame
Spiritus knows shame
Can urge one to new greatness.
Together we rise.
Wait. Calm as water.
Accepting shame, none remains.
I got Cranky’s back.