physically, I am attracted to tall, dark-skinned, dark-haired and masculine men. my crush has all those qualities and to top it all, he’s one of the smartest in the smartest class in our year and an MVP in the basketball team…we were never really friends, just acquaintances but we knew each other since my class was second to their class . I had a HUGE crush on him for 4 years. when we turned college, he went to a far-away and very famous college here in our country.
then this new guy comes in. he’s 6’2, very skinny, fair-skinned, dark-hair, sloppy and a very awkward 4-eyed guy. we were classmates for 2 semesters in college. I never really noticed him until the 2nd semester because he wasn’t really my physical type. there were only 2 people i knew during the 2nd sem, him and our other friend from the 1st sem so the 3 of us teamed up because other people were very strangers to us.
I got to know him better since then. He is more of a quiet type but gets noisy if you’re really close to him. He’s very arrogant and kind of bossy and we always burst into unreasonable fights which i do not understand why. **He is the only person who calls me by my second name. **, a name I dislike. he said he doesn’t like calling me by my first name. I like how we always seem to talk about very random things. He was the first guy to see me cry. Our feelings for each other were getting to be obvious… then one day he told me the reason why he didn’t like my first name. He told me that he used to love a girl by the same name who used him and left him. He said I remind him of her and that the girl and I were very much alike.
I was heartbroken and didn’t talk to him . i realized he was still in love with that other girl because she was his first love. one thing led to the other and we had our misunderstandings and stuff but I finally got to terms about my feelings for him. I hinted that I like him very much and I’m willing to wait for him. We’re very close now even thought I know he doesn’t like to commit. I started to love my 2nd name because of him
Welcome to the SDMB, zagrid. You put this post in an older thread – I’ve moved it to its own thread in our advice forum, IMHO. Wasn’t sure what to call it – if you can think of a better title, hit “report this post” (exclamation point in the triangle in the upper right of the post) and let a moderator know, we’ll be happy to fix it for you.
Again, welcome – I hope you enjoy your time here at the SDMB.
I find men who are my physical opposite to be most attractive. I’m so white I glow, and I always admire people with dark skin tone, hair, and eyes. Same with women who I would classify as beautiful. I so wish I had some color!
That being said, my SO is pale/freckly, with red hair. Lovely, wiry body, and just slightly taller than me. I couldn’t say he’s my type, except that I’ve always (I’ve known him since 8th grade) had a ridiculous Thing for him. I think perhaps I imprinted on him when I was a newly-hatched, fuzzy-headed little duckling. Otherwise, I have no explanation.
No type, physically. She’s got to be cool (I don’t mean like Mia Wallace cool, like chilled out, not loud, and savvy enough to have artistic tastes not completely offensive to me), pretty smart, and have her own money. Pretty, in a general sense, is good, but not a type and doesn’t really factor into “things” much.
I suppose the above constitutes a particular type, just not physical type – I’d guess most men don’t really have a physical type they prefer strongly. Seems women do tend to have a little thing for how men look, though – “tall, dark, handsome,” “strong,” or whatever. How shallow! (Kidding).
Skinny. Bony.
Dark features (black hair, long eyelashes, heavy eyebrows, constant 5-o’clock shadow).
Aquiline nose.
Smart.
Funny.
Affectionate and romantic.
However: It’s amazing how many guys I’ve fallen in love with, over the years, who had few - or none - of these qualities.
Male: I have a few types that I like but my #1 is a fairly petite, well-defined female with dark brown hair and blue eyes and an aggressive personality with just a touch of evil. I collected females of this type for years before I realized I was doing it. I even married one. Celebrity examples are Vivian Leigh (Scarlett O’Hara, my dream girl) and Lynda Carter.
There are a bunch of types that turn me off even if they are objectively pretty. Tall and athletic blondes are not my thing for instance.
I don’t have a physical type, they just have to be smart, funny and nice.
But I do have a few turn-offs. They can’t have “pig nose” or "triangle butt"or “peanut butter voice”. Pig nose is a guy whose noise is fat and pig-like. Triangle butt is this very specific type of butt that some guys have, shaped like an upside down triangle. Peanut butter voice is a guy who sounds like he’s got a gob of peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth.
He can be bald, short and chubby and as long as he’s smart, funny and nice I don’t care.
Mmm. Dark curly hair with bright green eyes. Or straight blonde with blue eyes. Crinkles at the sides of the eyes so I know he smiles a lot which ideally is a toothy grin. Lanky body with the sort of muscle definition that comes from regular outdoor work or intermittent gym workouts but not a bodybuilder. Warm hands and a soothing voice.
I’ll add intelligent. That may have to do with the curiosity though–she is always questioning, always learning, always curious. I like intelligent conversations, and I’d hope she was capable of those.
And I’d hope she had eyes I could fall into through those glasses.
I’m always surprised when people insist they don’t have a type because I sure do. Better than 75% of the guys I’ve ever been attracted to have had dark (black or brown) hair, dark eyes, are between 5’9" - 6’2, and are somewhere between fit and 20 pounds overweight. All have been intelligent, most have had a good sense of humor, and virtually every one of them has been more out-going than me. The last is hardly a surprise because most of my friends of both genders are as well.
Which isn’t to say I’ve never been attracted to a blond, or someone with blue eyes. It’s rare, but it happens. OTOH, automatic turnoffs include guys who are too thin, have high pitched voices, and are more introverted than I am.
I’ve given some thought to the matter, and I chose the word “curious” on purpose. It’s hard to gain much intelligence if you’re not curious, and curiosity without intelligence seems like it would be frustrating after a while. “Curious” suggests a certain joy at discovering something new; a desire to go someplace you’ve never been solely because you’ve never been there. I find that an attractive idea.
It’s not terribly specific, though. From that description, no one is going to see my ideal woman and say “excuse me, miss, could you wait here a moment while I summon a friend of mine?” Some people here have specified height, eye, and hair color; things like that. I do notice them, but sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t. I don’t have a definitive description. It makes being my wingman just that much more difficult.
I do have one friend who claimed to be able to spot my type, but I was never able to really put that claim to the test.
An interesting question…when I think about what “my type” might be, and I think about female celebrities, or women whom I meet and find very attractive from the start, they fairly often fit a certain type:
Average to above-average in height
Long brunette hair, often wavy or curly
Tan to olive skin tone
Slender to athletic build
Then, I think about the four women with whom I’ve fallen in love in my life, and none really fit that:
Short, curvy, auburn-haired, tan skin
Tall, average (but rather boyish) build, short brown hair, fair skin
Average height, curvy / reubenesque, long straight brown hair, fair skin
Short, athletic build, long curly brown hair, fair skin
Strictly physically, tall and dark. I don’t quite know why yet, but more than good-looking and I head the other way asap. The men I’ve loved have been all types, though, and grew delightfully handsome and sexy to me the more I loved them.
For personality, I don’t like bossy or wishy-washy. Intelligence, wit, and humor are a must, though the degree is on a sliding scale. None of it matters if he’s not nice/kind.
