Audibly farting in front of a 4th grade field trip is funny on so many levels

Okay, maybe it’s just funny on one, basic level. But on that level, it’s pretty damned funny.

I was helping a friend of mine pick up some canvases from the art school yesterday (a 3’x5’ and a 6"x7’). We each had the day off, and were still a little goofy from the night before. That, and I think I had inhaled a few too many paint fumes in the studios. So, as we’re walking out of the building, a busload of schoolchildren is walking in. They were in uniforms from the local private school, and were all on their best behavior (all of them were very deliberate in saying “excuse me” and “why thank you, Phil for opening the door.”).

We loaded the canvases (canvi?) into his truck, when it started raining. He didn’t want to get them wet, so we decided to come back some other time. We brought them back inside, upstairs in the studio. At this point, the students’ tour was in full force. So was my gas. I waited until I was downstairs to unload, where there wouldn’t be any children. However, what I didn’t notice was the large open air foyer that I had stepped under - I had just audibly let loose in front of about 25 onlookers.

Well, the tour looked pretty boring. I hope I made their day.

Munch of course you made their day. No fourth grade field trip is complete without a couple of good farts and/or belches. Heck, I dare say no Dopefest would be complete without em either. :smiley:

I agree that a random adult ‘letting rip’ amuses school children no end.

But as a teacher, you have to be very careful.

I once had a strong late-night curry, then found to my chagrin that I was unexpectedly covering an early morning class for a colleague.

I did my best but eventually a strong pong forced its way between my clenched cheeks.

Immediately the first pupil cried out “Sir! Sir! Johnny’s guffed*!”
Johnny, sitting next to her, indignantly denied it was him and said it must be his next-door neighbour.

You can see where this was leading. I forestalled the ghastly consequences by saying firmly “Never mind who it was. Just open the windows.”
Even that wasn’t enough - we had to evacuate the classroom temporarily (thanks to my original evacuation).

*guffed apparently means farted

A canvas six inches by seven feet!? Hmmm, Let me guess… a worm? A cubist painting of a stick of speghetti? A surrealists vision of a right angle?


Actually, he’s thinking of doing the progression of the buds on a tree branch. He’s been photographing three in particular on his deck for the last week. Could be pretty cool. Glad you caught that! It’s a really cool canvas - 7 feet is a lot bigger than you’d imagine (roughly a foot longer than a 6 foot canvas…).

:smiley: Adults farting in front of grade school kids stories always make me laugh!

I was helping coach my son’s baseball team many years ago. Just before one game, I felt extreme pressure, and being with a bunch of 10 year olds, decided to let loose. Of course, they thought it was hilarious. Then of course, each kid had to attempt to blow their own fart. A minute later a strong stench filled the dugout and one of the boys started crying. He tried too hard and crapped his pants. I ended up taking him home to change. His mother was not amused.

Sweet Jesus that’s great, racer72!