Q: What do pirates wear when they go golfing?
A: Arrrrrrgyle!
Where do West Coast pirates buy their gasoline?
Arrr-co.
Q: Why couldn’t the pirate kid see the exciting new movie?
A: It was rated Arrrrrrr.
The new pirate virtual reality viewer:
The iPatch.
How does a pirate be getting his truck unstuck from the mud? With a front mounted wench.
Avast amount of puns and rum be served today!
Q: How much will the pirate charge you to pierce your ears?
A: A buck an ear.
Courtesy of Knowed Out in another thread:
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye Matey!
Shiver me timbers - I missed it!
Regarrrrrds,
Shodan
You mean The Black Stranger (Howarde’s Original title). There’s an interior illustration in the Del Rey edition of The Conquering Sword of Conan, but I can’t find it online.
Maybe this will do instead –
https://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images;_ylt=A2KLfRsnQqRbl3kA5TNXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTByMjB0aG5zBGNvbG8DYmYxBHBvcwMxBHZ0aWQDBHNlYwNzYw--?p=“The+Black+Stranger”+Howard+illustration&fr=yfp-t#id=1&iurl=http%3A%2F%2Fhowardworks.com%2Fwanderingstar-blackstranger.jpg&action=click
THIS is Conan.
I very much enjoyed the first time I learned about another pirate:
Mr. Pirate, umm, I think you have a steering wheel sticking out of the front of your pants…
Arrrr, don’t I know it - it’s drrrivin’ me nuts!
I’ve got Scurvy. 
Th’phrase be “Scurvy dog,” not, “Scurvy Catfish,” ya barnacle.
Fuck this bullshit.
Am I the only one on here who understands that pirates were common criminals? Besides, that ‘arrrrr’ shit you love so much is just an 18th Century Scottish accent.
Whoever invented this pirate shite should rot in hell forever.
Yarrr! Who thinks it be time to keelhaul the above poster?
Seriously, I think we all know that pirates were criminals, and not-very-nice people. But we celebrate the criminal mob in films such as The Godfather, and perform tough-guy impressions from such (“I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse”); and cheer for illegal drug-consuming Jeff Spicoli in FastTimes at Ridgemont High. Why not have a little fun with pirate stereotypes?
Aye! Th’mutinous dog should swing from the highest yarrrrrrrrdarrrrrrrm!
Hint: It ain’t Hump Day!
Humorist Dave Barry’s 2002 column promoting the beginnings of Talk Like a Pirate Day.
(Warning: Potential paywall.)
The Pirates lost today.
Talk Like A Pirate Day went over big at the monthly meeting of the sci-fi modelling club I belong to. And after the business was concluded, we showed an episode of The Middleman. Coincidentally, it turned out to be the one with the Booty Chest, the “pirate-themed sports bar with the scantily-clad waitresses”. 