The fashionable hippopotamus carries a laser for defense.
It’s a hip hippo ray.
:flees:
Mine just stands there wringing its hands and wondering what on earth to do.
Mine would just disappear into the cornfield…
If Oderus Urungus had his Cuddlefish of Cthulu in my avatar, All would bow to my power. But since it is the family friendly Oderus sans CoC, then I’m just a guy wearing foam rubber.
I can’t imagine mine doing much in battle; at least there will be a pretty awesome bass line for the main event!
My Luggage is famed across the Disk for its ferocity!
My seagull would bravely take on all opponents. And win handily. Obviously.
Or perhaps not. But she could at least drive most people away with her annoying call.
I win. Or at least Xykon thinks so.
Sorry, folks.
My pair of cats could trip people and cover them in fluff. AND THEN YOU’D BE SORRY.
Mine can bite everybody and make them vampires.
Mach-5 capable, thought-controlled weapons systems and stealth interceptor VS A Hippo 
It’s a really big hippo.
Maybe it could just get in the way of the plane as it lands or takes-off, but then technically that would be a draw 
Anyone have an avatar that can nuke it from orbit?
It could attack the mechanisms and fuel line with its vampire fangs. Destroy it that way. Vampire hippo wins.
waggles horns menacingly
I was about to post that I’d pat the cow. I’m such a city slicker 
Vampire cats would be bad. Mine already demand to be fed. It’d be bad if they were demanding I be fud.
Actually, your avatar only shows the moon, plus the sun’s corona.
Mine, on the other hand, can beat the stuffing outta any dumb hippo.