One star?
I can send you all to the cornfield whenever i want.
Nitpicker. 
Don’t give Gatopescado any ideas.
smithsb has a mushroom cloud.
Besides, the OP specifies not changing for the thread. That’s why i’m left rifleless.
Denver the Last Dinosaur has significant plot armour.
Maizy, the Pug, will lick you to death.
Where will this be taking place?
Either you’re a Syd Barrett fan, or that was a coincidence.
“… a stupid hippopotamus who wallowed in the mud and chewed his spicy hippo plankton food…”
Syd Barret: The Effervescing Elephant
Sorry, I misremembered. It was a dirty hippopotamus. The water bison were stupid.
Ok, my avatar is not the world’s most physical guy, but don’t dare to challenge him in a math fight, which is the proper way of fighting for a SDMB avatar anyway.
You will be misdirected into an infinite maze and lost forever. And invited for tea.
My hippopotamus is very clean. Doesn’t he (or she – not quite sure) look clean?
I’m a sorceress, so I could turn all of you into bugs and step on you! 
Satanic JohnT baby beats the snot out of any Earth lifeform, hippo or otherwise.
There will be no fight. Your avatar will feel an uncontrollable urge to scritch my avatar behind the ears, ask ‘who’s a good boy?’ then you will feel relaxed and happy with the world and no urge to fight. My avatar will carry on snoozin’.
I reside in the forehead chakra. I am calm, refined, intelligent and meditative. I have little to do with lowly, stinky forms of life, and even less with those who are proud to claim one as their mascot. 
BUT, when provoked, I can burn that 800 pound hippo to zippo in an instant. I win.
My avatar already wants to pet Precambrianmollusc’s avatar.
My avatar wants to have sex with Precambrianmollusc’s :eek::D.
Ahem.