On the roof of a high rise that’s been freshly tarred on a hot hot hot July day!
[weird al]In a swimming pool full of double-edged razor blades…[/weird al]
It was with a little fear and trepidation that I started out to find out who is Smooove B really. I felt a stir of excitement when he informed me that he did indeed got what I need.
All I gotta say is Smoove, you had me at cloth napkins.
Why do I get the feeling that letting Mr. B. “stick it in me in most romantic way possible” could turn out to be the ultimate worst way possible?
How about a real-life scenario? (…happened to a friend of ours…)
On your wedding night while in the throes of a full-body attack of poison ivy.
Inside of a giant fig newton. Damn fig newtons…
In absentia 
On a floor full of broken lightbulbs and thumbtacks.
In an iron maiden, covered in lemon juice.
Hehehe…that’s some funny shit! Although after reading his columns, I have an enormous urge to scrub myself with industrial strength Clorox and a brillo pad.
am i the only one who is rhyming these to Green Eggs and Ham???
snicker
BTW, I noticed, Smooove B seems to have an obsession with corn.
What’s up with that?
How about on top of the torch on the Statue of Liberty?
Perched on the edge of the Grand Canyon?:eek:
On top of the Golden gate Bridge?:o
On top of the Gateway Arch in St Louis? 
Against an electric fence… :eek:!
In a patch of aloe…
In a room with a mic attached to a public address system, and not knowing the mic was ‘live’…
…and having your maiden Aunt/Grandparents/Parents/current SO/or friends who would never let you forget about this listening…
In a vat full of menthol shaving cream…
After peeling a lot of hot peppers with your bare hands…
<< “My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.” —
Emo Philips >>
on a pile of rusty carpet-tacks
while wearing my Dick Cheyney mask
I dunno these two ways, although kinky would definitely be doable. (just keep that menthol away from the pink parts.)