Bachelor Party Stories

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

I have a very little knowledge about this because a stripper came to my house, back when I shared a house with two other guys and one of them hosted a bachelor party. I left the house but came back before it was all over. My not-yet-husband was there, too, so I got some scoop from him.

I didn’t get any rowdier than her putting whipped cream on her breasts and letting the guys lick it off, but within the context of that it wasn’t innocent lollipop-like lapping off of the stuff. It was a little more heated than I suspect the girlfriends and fiancees of the men involved would have cared for, if they knew.

However, the stripper was intelligent and poised, for what that’s worth.

22

Hehe…but it really happened. That girl was a wild one. I wonder now if she is a nice little Suzy Homemaker, and if her husband has any idea of what she was like before.

Ask me about the time that she showed up drunk at my apartment, and I had another girl over already (also a fun one!). The girls learned an important lesson in sharing that night…

I’ve been a very lucky guy, I’d say.

23

At my bachelor party we sat around, told knock knock jokes, and drank chocolate milk.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. :smiley:

Zap!

PS- DayDreams in Philadelphia is a great place for bachelor parties.

24

Great responses everyone! Keep 'em coming! You all are cracking me up.
Actually Beerfan, I have been to a strip club, but only one, so I don’t think that counts as knowing the ropes quite yet!
Dragwyr- I think your story is truly hilarious. Love it! It’s especially good that you got a chance to share here, since it’s probably not gonna make the cut for Penthouse Forum. Maybe Mad magazine? :stuck_out_tongue:

And, in re the following quote,

may I just say ** Holy Invasion of Personal Space, Batman!!!**
They can-uhhh-reach in there at a club? Me no likey so much.
Is that standard?:eek:

25

Hoo boy. I’ve been to some tame ones and I’ve been to some insane ones.

Tame ones:

  • Going to Dave & Buster’s for food, beer and video games.

Insane ones:

  1. The Stripper in her Natural Habitat
    A buddy of mine got married about 18 months ago. His bachelor party started out fairly innocuously. During the day, we played paintball, then went to the hotel, checked in, got cleaned up and went to dinner. Afterwards, went to the riverboats and gambled for a few hours. So after some success at the blackjack tables, we headed out to a strip club near Joliet. When we walked in, we almost walked right back out; it was a tiny little bar, decorated in Early American 70’s (wood and cork paneling as far as the eye could see), with one desultory-looking stripper working the pole. Plus, aside from two drunk truck drivers, we were the only guys in the place. We all kinda looked at each other, shrugged, ordered a pitcher of beer, and sat down.

Within five minutes, things started looking up. More girls came out from the back, and let me say, for a little strip club in the middle of nowhere, the girls were beautiful! As a favor for the groom, we bought him the Half-Hour Lap Dance (a new creation). Gave one girl some dough for a lap dance, and after every song, we gave her more dough to keep going. I thought the groom was going to burst a blood vessel after about fifteen minutes.

Within about two hours, the party was in full swing. Being flush with cash from the casino, we were throwing money around like crazy. Most of the girls had taken up residence on our side of the bar and we were starting to get dirty looks from the other patrons. And then someone got an evil idea.

Whenever any of our party got up to go to the bathroom, the other guys would chip in and give the girls enough cash to pull the hapless victim up on stage when he got back. After being pulled up on stage, the victim would be stripped to the waist and thrown into a chair. The girl would then write her name on his chest in marker, stuff ice down his shorts, and then ride him around the stage like a pony. (And yes, sidle, they definitely did reach ‘down there’. In other circumstances, it’d be pretty okay, but on stage in front of a bar full of guys… just slightly embarassing.) I’m glad they didn’t allow cameras in there, or there would have been blackmail material galore.

The rest of the evening is a haze of loud music, singles stuffed in various articles of clothing, and pitchers of beer. We finally staggered out of there around 4 in the morning… I don’t want to speculate how much money we spent, but it was a lot. The next day was spent with a blinding hangover, but you couldn’t have gotten the smile off my face with a jackhammer.

(Oh, and the part about the strippers writing their name on your chest? That became significant the next day when the groom’s fiancee discovered the name ‘Candi’ written on his chest… after he’d told her that no, dear, there were no strippers at all last night, we just played cards. Whoops!)

  1. The Stripper at Home, Part 1
    For payback, the groom from story #1 decided that for the next bachelor party, we’d hire strippers to come to someone’s place. That place, being mine (most of the other attendees being married, their places being thus unavailable for strippers). Got everyone to my place and waited for the girls (two of 'em) to show up.

They got there around 6 pm, accompanied by two strapping young men (for security, don’cha know). The show… (I’m trying to keep this PG-13)… let’s just say there were various articles and toys involved, and lesbian sex between the two girls. And the funny thing was… I wasn’t turned on by this. You’d think that two women getting naked right in front of you, and doing all the things you WISH they’d do, would be erotic.

But it wasn’t.

I was embarassed that these people would do these things, not because they were turned on, not out of emotion or real sexual interest, but because they were being PAID to do so. The feigned moans and quivers just made me even more embarassed. I was actually glad when it was over, so we could head out to the bars for dinner and beer.

  1. The Stripper at Home, Part 2
    Several years ago, I was at a bachelor party where a girl was hired to come in and strip for the groom. To make a long story short, after the stripping show, she made it obvious that she’d consummate various sexual acts for money. And one of my then-good friends took her up on it. So for twenty dollars, in front of God and the entire bachelor party, she proceeds to… um… well, pleasure him. It was about the most embarassing-making thing I’ve ever been a witness to. I was so mortified I could have melted right through the floor. (Afterwards, they went into the bathroom – what happened in there, I don’t know and I don’t ever WANNA know.)

What I took home from these experiences – someday at my own bachelor party, going to a strip club is fine, but I don’t want strippers at someone’s house. Going to a strip club is fun – you can drink, laugh, hoot and holler, buy lap dances for your friends – very much a male bonding experience! But when there’s simulated or actual sex involved… it’s way WAY too seedy for me.

26

Cool post, Zanshin. I’m still a little surprised about one thing, though. Just to be clear, no beating around the bush (:smiley: ),
the strippers were actually reaching their hands into the guys’ pants and * TOUCHING HIS DICK?*
WTF?
Is this a common practice? I remember the guys holding dollars between their teeth, and the girls retrieving them with their breasts (before the 6-foot rule). Thats a little tamer, but the other thing…I don’t know.

27

It really depends on the type of place. Most clubs I’ve been to (yeah, like there’s been so many, like three in my entire life) don’t allow that much contact between the stripper and the guy. But the place we were at at the time was a little strip club in the middle of nowhere, and let’s just say the rules were just a tad looser there. :slight_smile:

(And not only were they handling the franks and the beans, as it were, they were holding ICE CUBES against them. An interesting mixture of 'hey, this is pretty neat, and ‘hey, that’s really fricking COLD!’. Afterwards, I think it took about two days for the twins to drop back down from where they’d retreated back inside my body cavity.)

28

This got me thinking about the private bachelor party I was at where we never got to find out if it was a bigger deal.

The groom had been promised an evening of catered food, poker, porn videos, and plenty of beer. And there was all that. But there was one thing the groom said he did not want, but that he got anyway: a stripper.

When the best man announced the “surprise entertainment” and the stripper appeared, the groom took off like a shot. He was eventually found about an hour later, three blocks away. It kind of put an awkward spin on the evening.

My own party was a much more reserved affair. I made it quite clear to my buddy that I did not want a party. He honored my wishes, and instead took me out for a meal. It was followed by a few single-malt whiskies and expensive cigars, and all throughout there were plenty of laughs and “remember when” stories.

Maybe I’m getting old, but I much preferred that to any evening involving far too much beer and women with too few clothes.

29

It all depends on where you are, some states have a “no nudity clause” where girls who vide lapdances need gstrings and bikinis, some offer full nudity only in alcohol free environs, some places allow nude lapdances if the patrons don’t touch.

And in Canada, men can touch most areas so long as they aren’t pink and moist, and the women can be very creative in what they do.

30

I’ve been to a few bachelor parties, here’s some about 3 of 'em:

#1: the groom’s brother hired a girl from a topless bar a few towns away from ours. We played cards while waiting for her to arrive. She showed up with a skinny guy that was supposed to be her bodyguard, but didn’t look (or act) too threatening. When showtime came, she danced and swayed to cheesy music from a boombox, and peeled down to a g-string. The show was about 20-30 minutes. It was interesting, and she was reasonably cute, but by the end of the show we were ready to go back to playing cards.

After the show, she and the bodyguard stuck around. She was interested in playing cards, she said. I think she had the idea of running her earnings up some. She lost about half of that at the high-stakes table, and came over to the penny ante group, where I was. And that’s where we learned that she had an IQ that rivaled warm toast. I think that she better have saved what she earned by stripping, because once she lost her looks, she was going to be flipping burgers or hustling to make a living.

#2: A stripper came to a private house, and did the “grab the fiver from the groom’s nose without using her hands” trick. The groom blew the bill off his face when she started the first time. She smiled and said, “Do that again, and your fun is over for the night”. She also did a real brief lap dance for everyone, and offered a longer one if you paid for it. Afterwards, she got dressed and hung around awhile. At least this one was attractive AND intelligent. I decided to not play cards with her.

#3: No stripper, just a bunch of guys, 2 barrels of beer, lots of food, and a dozen skinflicks. The host hung a sheet over a window curtain rod as a screen, and the movies were projected on that. The bride and her friends stopped by briefly on their way to the bachelorette party, and politely told us that everyone driving by could see the movie on the the back side of the screen. Good thing we were way out in the sticks for this one!

31

I’ve been to about 15 bachelor parties or so some good some bad some pretty boring.

The best was in Mineapolis. about 15 of us played poker and drank most of the afternoon. Went to a pretty classy strip joint(Shieks for those who know the area) hung out for a while spent a shit load of money. Was down to about 4 of us and the groom when the night was over. We talked a couple of the girls into going back home with us. Played more poker and strip poker(although it occured to me long after the fact that that wasn’t quite the score we were thinking at the time seeing as how they were strippers). We ended up taking the girls to the wedding as our dates, then partied some more when we got back after the reception. It was a great weekend.

The worst was a couple of nineteen year olds getting married cause she got pregnant. Most of the guys had never really drank before and got wasted by 9:30 the whole house was a mess of puke and piss covered bodies in various stages of heading toward the bathroom. We never actually did anything cause The groom freaked out and said he didn’t wan’t to get married and was just going to kill himself instead. I spend like 6 hours trying to sence into him and get him calmed down. Finally he chilled, I didn’t have the guts to go to the actual wedding.

The creepiest was when they hired a couple strippers to come to the guys house. The strippers danced for like five minutes then told everybody to whip it out and start um’ working on it’ as they made their way around. Me and my friend just kind of looked at each other and spent the rest of the night outside talking on the porch. Apparenly they really did have a big jack-off party.
The strip clubs are the most fun generally. Its an atmosphere designed to people to party. And the girls are usually better looking and know how to do their jobs. The bring a stripper at to your house seems to be prostitution about 30% of the time.

32

This is weird to remember, but here goes:

My bachelorlette party crashed my ex husband’s bachelorette party. We decided to have them on the same nights and then meet back at this Hotel for a party of our own.

After watching at least twenty five sweaty half naked gay guys dance, and about fourteen watermelon shooters later, I could barely stand anymore. I do remember all the girls in my party were placing dollar bills over my head to get them to kiss me. Fuck that was weird. I bet those gay guys hated that part of there job. Anyways…

My ex husband’s sister was wasted off her ass, and her husband to be was at the “bachelor party” and she had him so whipped to a point where he couldn’t go to the party unless she knew where it was going to be at. Of course I didn’t want to know. I was really drunk by this time, but the sister told the limo driver to go to that address.

I was almost passed out in the limo when we pulled up. All I remember was that I saw her screaming her husband’s name outside the door of the house where the party was going on. He finally came out… and she grabbed him by the ear and pulled him in the car after she went in to witness my ex husband in his boxers with two strippers right in front of him fucking each other. I then stood outside of the house for like ten minutes, not saying a word, because I knew if I went in, shit was going to happen. I was a horrible drunk.

So my ex strolls out while putting on his shirt and told me to leave. I, like the stupid little wife to be, said ok honey. He then denied the strippers doing each other story.

That night I told him I wasn’t going to have sex with him unless he told me. I proceeded to tell him what I did, he still denied. All I really wanted to know was if he screwed any or both of them, because I definately wasn’t going to have sex with him then. He denied. He wasn’t a very good lier. He lasted about an hour with the “nothing happened” story and then he told all.

He said the closest he got to doing any of them was that he got to lick whip cream off of their privates. And he got to lay on his back with a $20.00 bill in his mouth while one of the strippers would do the splits on his face and take the money out of his mouth with her lips. Not the ones on her face. At that time, I was nineteen and such a prude and viewed things like this way different than I do now. So I was pissed and I stayed pissed until we got married ten days later.

That’s my pathetic bachelor/bachelorette party story!

33

I bartended at a bachelor party my friend threw for his best friend. It was held in a very nice private banquet room above a micro-brewery/restaurant/bar.

I had prior bartending experience and although I was a dancer at the time, he knew I had a thing about not going bottomless (still DO think it’s disgusting for dancers to be bottomless) so my friend didn’t even bother to ask me. However, he wanted a cute, scantily-clad female bartender that wouldn’t freak at the “show” so asked me for a favor.

The beginning of the night was fairly tame…drinking, food, cigars, poker…then the strippers arrived. Three of them and one was actually a friend that I worked with. I never looked at her the same way afterward.

It was basically a sex show. It was awful and embarrassing to see. Most of the men were gathered around (except for a small but dedicated group that hoped to get me out of my clothes too) and it involved whipped cream, lap dances and double-ended dildoes that finished the night with teeth marks in them.

After the show, the girls hung around to provide extra lapdances at $20 a piece and comandeered the women’s bathroom for who knows what. I didn’t ask and didn’t want to know.

At the end of the night, I made more money than two of them but came out with my dignity intact.

Yuck.

34

First story: My brother’s Bachelor party was pretty tame. As the best man, I promised hime whatever he wanted. He said just going out to a bar with the boys. I asked three times if he wanted to go to a strip club and each time he said no. We went to an Irish place and got him wasted. Back at the hotel, watching the porno, he turns to me and announces he wants a stripper - at 4:00 am. :rolleyes:

Second story: last November my good Aussie friend got married in a civil ceremony. He plans to have a “real wedding” sometime this year. Anyway, two days before they went to the ward office, his boss decided to give him a 4 day weekend. Three of us decided to hit the most (in)famous strip joint in Osaka: Juso Music. A note on Japanese strip clubs: lap dances with full touching are standard, and other private services (not including sex) are available and legal. We spent the better part of the day there. The girl who took him in the back room was the MC for the sho as well. At the end of the evening, she came out on stage, thanked everyone for coming, and announced that my friend was getting married tomorrow and his wife must be really lucky because he has the biggest organ she’s ever seen.

35

First story: My brother’s Bachelor party was pretty tame. As the best man, I promised hime whatever he wanted. He said just going out to a bar with the boys. I asked three times if he wanted to go to a strip club and each time he said no. We went to an Irish place and got him wasted. Back at the hotel, watching the porno, he turns to me and announces he wants a stripper - at 4:00 am. :rolleyes:

Second story: last November my good Aussie friend got married in a civil ceremony. He plans to have a “real wedding” sometime this year. Anyway, two days before they went to the ward office, his boss decided to give him a 4 day weekend. Three of us decided to hit the most (in)famous strip joint in Osaka: Juso Music. A note on Japanese strip clubs: lap dances with full touching are standard, and other private services (not including sex) are available and legal. We spent the better part of the day there. The girl who took him in the back room was the MC for the sho as well. At the end of the evening, she came out on stage, thanked everyone for coming, and announced that my friend was getting married tomorrow and his wife must be really lucky because he has the biggest organ she’s ever seen.

36

A very good (male) friend of mine, G, was going to marry a very good (female) friend…

G had a lot of friends that I didn’t know, and they organized the bachelor party. They rented a private club, got the booze, etc.

So the night of the bachelor party, my best friend, D, and I drove to the location of the party, get introduced to 20 or so guys we never met before, and settle down with a beer and a cigar to await the festivities.

After a while of fooling around and drinking, the stripper (a HOT, natural red-head) arrived… she put on some music, and began doing her thing! I was enjoying the show, because, hey, you know… boobies! :smiley: She was dancing around, and taking off bits of clothing, and eventually worked her way over to G, the groom. She began giving him a kickass naked lap-dance… G leaned foreward and whispered something in her ear. She whispered back, and he whispered in reply. Suddenly, they both stood up and walked hand-in-hand to the coat-room door, and disappeared!!

Show’s over!:frowning:

So, D and I began to play pool, both of us a bit taken aback… G AND his soon-to-be wife were BOTH good friends of ours! And this just wasn’t right, despite the stories we had heard form other wild bachelor parties! After a few minutes, D and I determined that G was making a BIG mistake, and we had to save him from cheating on his fiancee! After all, we owed it to both him and her!! (We were going to save the day!!)

Screwing (sorry! Couldn’t resist) up our courage, and improvising some lame excuse for interrupting, D and I marched over to the coat-room, threw it open and charged in…
… to find G and the girl, sitting on the floor deep in serious conversation! :confused:
Seems that G didn’t really want any strippers, and in fact felt bad for girls who did that! He and the girl were exploring her reasons for stripping, and also exploring other options that she could take for work!

(I love you, G! You are weird, and spiritual, and just about the coolest guy I know!:cool: )

The marriage went off without a hitch, and G and his wife are still happily married, many years after D and I made fools of ourselves to save G from HIMself!!
Yes, I’m an idiot…

37

Now why does this not surprise me? :smiley:

38
  1. A friend of mine had his bachelor party at an indoor amusement area (all video games and pinball machines), and we all ended up playing miniature golf.

This was in Salt Lake City.

Afterwards we retired to a Private Club ( = Bar) for food and drinks. The minibottles were as wild as it got. No women were present.

  1. My bachelor party was a backyard barbeque at my sister’s (she was running the Bridal Shower at the time). The only woman present was my one year old niece. She did get naked at one point, but only so we could change her diaper.
    I’ve lead a really sheltered life.
39

Great stories everyone! Very “educational!” Keep 'em coming!

Ahhh…my favorite ridiculous porn cliche! Why do I suspect that lesbians in their natural habitat do not get off on blowing an inanimate penile object? :smiley:

Oh-and Astroboy-that was one of the cutest, funniest, most
heartwarming stories I have ever read. Can I marry your friend G?
Oh.
That’s right.
Already married.
Don’t mind me!

and Cal-They had something similar on South Park last night. It was “Out of Control Kids on the Maury Povich show”, and this mother brings out her infant “wild” daughter who liked to crawl around, taking it all off right in front of the mother’s gentlemaen suitors. Pretty funny. (Maybe you had to be there!)

40

As much as I would have liked it to be that innocuous, the teeth marks were sideways on the thing. A few people were encouraged to use their mouths to manipulate it.

Meaning…the teeth marks belonged to a few people who ended up with sticky cheeks.