A friend of mine (I swear) is dealing with this issue now and it’s made me think about this entire concept.
I have seen (on this board and elsewhere) posts about the horrors of bachelor parties. At most bachelor parties, from what I’ve heard, the point is to have some slutty woman bestow her sexual attentions on a man who is committing to another woman (in this case my friend) within the next day or so. The worse case scenario is that the groom actually has sex with a strange whore the night before his wedding.
The main goal is to have as much naughty fun as possibly while keeping it a complete secret from anyone who would possibly give any information to the bride, I’m assuming it’s because what goes on is SO extremely horrible. I’ve seen the rules… NO CAMERAS, NO DISCUSSIONS AFTERWARD, etc.
I’ve been to a few bachelorette parties and none of them would need to be secretive. Hell, the guys didn’t even completely strip… the party could have been on network television for goodness sake (ok, maybe just Fox).
Anyway, as a friend of a current bride-to-be, and a possible future bride-to-be, why on earth should this be so acceptable? Hell, even if nothing happens, the bride has to have these horrible images in her mind for the rest of her life of what she assumed happened (and I’m sure these images are very tame compared to reality most of the time). Is it really worth it? Hasn’t he seen - and had - enough tits and ass in his life?
I’m thinking, when the time comes for me (if so, this will be my 2nd & the 1st didn’t have a party), I’d rather elope than have to deal with the afterthoughts of his bachelor party.
I’ve been to several, although none have been recent. Only once did someone produce a hooker, and the groom did not partake. The primary objective seems to be to get drunk with friends.
One was held at a titty bar, but nothing remarkable happened. It depends a lot on his friends. Are they somewhat mature?
The thing is, the “bad stuff” is kept from the general woman population. The more we know, the more we would oppose the idea.
I had a similar conversation on a board that mostly women frequent. A few guys came on and were painfully honest about what they have experienced in their lives. One guy in his mid 30s said that he had been to 3 parties in his past where the groom either had sex with or received a blow job from the “stripper”. I was shocked. I expected an occasional lap dance (those really irritate me) but a blow job? Sex?
I brought it up to my bf and asked him what his experience was. Since he is an honest guy, he admitted to having on of his friends sleep with a hooker. I then asked a variety of guys if they’ve ever known that to happen, and they ALL have, at least once!
I think maturity is a factor but unfortunately, alcohol is an opposing factor.
If it’s so innocent, why should it be so secretive? I could not imagine doing something so horrible that I would have to tell my friends YOU CAN’T SPEAK A WORD OF THIS TO ANYONE.
Well, to put it simply, it is not. My new (read as “2 days ago”) brother-in-law’s bachelor party was a nature hike. (Opinion alert!) The style of the party is probably based on the future faithfulness of the groom. The wilder the party, the less likely he is the type to follow his vows.
“The primary objective seems to be to get drunk with friends.”
Let’s change that to “Have fun with friends.” Drinking is not necessary to have fun, and it is generally a bad idea when preparations are being made to be hung-over.
Nbit. This is not an acceptable answer. He is a completely free man and can continue the single life forever if he chooses… he can oogle and screw as many sets of tits and ass as he possibly can. Or, he is free to find a woman who would perhaps even join him in his pursuits (I don’t judge people if they prefer alternative sexual lifestyles) and even bring friends along.
He is free to do those things but he has not yet. At this time, he is pursuing a relationship with me and knows how I feel.
I would NEVER tell my wife what happened at my bachelor party, the strippers, the offers to get on stage and do heaven knows what, and the stuff I won’t even write in this forum!
I don’t have to tell her. She was right next to me the whole time, loving every minute of it.
I’ve been to bachelor parties with strippers who do a dance on the groom, but never to one where anyone had sex of any type with a stipper/hooker. I’ve been on Offshore Fishing trips, canoeing (actually inflatable kayaks), and just out to bars with the guys, bars WITHOUT nekkid wimmin.
I want to be there when your fiance tells his friends.
“Hey guys, I thought the bachelor party would be more fun if we combined it with Tster’s bachelorette party! We can take turns seeing naked women and naked men!”
cricketcricket
“Guys?”
And for the record, I’ve been to several bachelor parties, which all involved a strip club and never involved any physical or sexual contact with the women. I think you just have skanky male friends.
I actually did a search of this site. Typed in bachelor party and saw those rules “written down” over and over.
I just wonder… if a guy is told that his woman would possibly do something at her party that he would probably cancel the wedding over (because she drank too much and her influential friends encouraged her) but he is not to find out anything about it… how would he react?
This is exactly what is happening more often than not to the woman. Every guy I talked to had at least one story (no names of course) about a bachelor party from their past that went crazy. Yes, she might be overreacting but how is she to know? It’s just as likely that her man was given way too many shots of tequilla and lost the ability (or desire) to say “No thank you naked lady grinding on my crotch, I’d like you to please get off of me.”
Giraffe… why is that? If I told a bunch of my girlfriends that idea, they would think it would be great fun. It’s because they are out for FUN and not out to be sneaky and do things that the men would be outraged at.
I have no skanky male friends. They were just invited to bachelor parties that had “private dancers” somewhere.
Well, we didn’t go to a male strip club (UncleBill is my husband, BTW), but we did throw our own joint bachelor/bachelorette party at a female strip club – it was in Key West, and I don’t know if there is a male strip club there, but I don’t mind at all looking at nekkid women. We had a great time, and my soon-to-be husband had lots of fun watching me give dollar bills to the strippers.
I don’t mind looking at naked women but I don’t mind looking at naked men either. Those places (there’s one in Ft. Lauderdale that I know of) are really just as much fun.
I don’t understand the difference… why would it be so horrible for a group of men & women to go to a male strip club? I would think the single men would have a ball; truly, there would be tons of potentially drunk and horny women everywhere. In a party situation like that, it would be a blast.
I truly get insulted on behalf of women when men think it’s great to bring girls to the tittie bar but wouldn’t be caught dead in a male strip club. If it’s all about fun, why would there be any kind of discrepancy here???
I thought bachelor parties like that only happened in movies!!
Here in Europe (at least, in Sweden) they almost never veer towards hookers or strippers; at least not to my knowledge. It’s more about having fun and the occasional pranks on the groom - but taunting him to have sex??? No way.
Real… I would have said the same thing only a few months ago. But I’ve been interested in the topic so I have asked around (and I’ve asked honest men).
When I was told that the first time, I actually called the guy a liar and/or exaggerator. When my bf admitted to going to one like that years ago, I was shocked.
A few of the men I asked were from England (online). In fact, I’m conversing now with a woman in England who is struggling with this same issue and she was telling me even more horror stories about over there. Apparently, where she’s from, it’s not just a night but an entire stag party weekend.
Ok, I’ve been to a bunch of bachelor parties and here’s how it usually goes:
-Non-controvertial male-bonding activity - golf, deep sea fishing, sporting event, whatever
-Dinner at a nice restaurant
-Stripclub (female)
A bachelor party usually lasts from one night to several days. It can be local or a special trip to someplace like Vegas, AC, New Orleans or any large city. Be concerned if your fiance is having a bachelor party in someplace like Amsterdam or Rio de Janeiro.
At the stripclub, they generally have special stuff like multiple-on-one lap dances, oil/mud/creamed corn wrestling, whatever. While not exactly the picture a new bride wants to paint of her future husband, it’s pretty much harmless. Bachelors - you might want to rethink the marriage if your fiance is the type who forbids going to strip clubs.
Odds are if your man and his friends don’t frequent prostitutes, they probably won’t have one at the party.
If your man and his pals could organize a bachelor party that was really that great, he wouldn’t be getting married.
What goes on at the bachelor party stays there.
'Cause it’s gay. The night is about the bachelor and unless he’s gay, he won’t enjoy seeing a bunch of naked dudes.