And you know there is going to be, ahem, “entertainment” there. It’s a rowdy group, to be sure, and there has been past debauchery, though nothing that can be construed as cheating (seriously). Though some in the group are cheaters, and it’s well known who they are, not every one is a bad boy like that. Long story short; Ladies, how do you feel about Bachelor parties, and your men going to them?
I think there is a movie starring Academy Award Best Actor Tom Hanks on this very subject. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll feel bad for the goat.
I was at a bachelor party once and after the stripper left, I overheard this conversation:
“Oh man, after watching that I really want to go home and f*** the sh** out of my wife.”
“Yeah? After watching that I really want to go home and shoot my wife.”
Which wife are you going to be?
Women. Can’t live with 'em, can’t kill em.
(apologies to tom arnold and ‘true lies’)
Isn’t this more of an IMHO question?
Regardless, I wouldn’t be with a man unless I could trust him at a bachelor party or strip club. He’s welcome to go, and I want fun stories when he returns.
My husband’s bachelor party was at a strip club in Vegas the night before we got married…
had I not been three and a half months pregnant and feeling rather icky, I would’ve been right there with him buying lap dances for him and letting him watch me get lap dances…
obviously, I have absolutely no problem with bachelor parties/strippers
then again, i have a wonderful husband who knows what he would be losing should he ever cheat…
While I don’t really understand the motivation behind going to a strip club (why pay for something you can’t have?) I think it boils down to a matter of trust. If you don’t trust your husband/SO enough to let him go to a bachelor party, how can you let him go to the grocery store alone?
Opinions sought.
Seems pollish.
No factual answer available.
Off to IMHO.
I’d let DH go if he wanted because I trust him, but he reports he doesn’t enjoy those kinds of events.
I’m in the “who cares” camp. How can anything that makes my SO come home horny be bad? Just so long as he hasn’t had too much to drink… 
I believe it was a donkey. Not that I’ve seen that movie more than a handful of times, or have it on tape or anything. 
What? It’s funny! And it has Adrian Zmed!
Seconded.
Thirded. I enjoy going to strip clubs with my man, but wouldn’t have any qualms about him going without me. He’s not one to give in to peer pressure.
Fourted…
I have these friends, she is much younger than he - she was the first girl in her group to get married. When the last one did, a “male strippers - ladies’ only” show was playing at a local theater, so of course that’s where they went for the hen party. The husband was all huffy about it. She told me, making sure that he didn’t hear, that “none of those pwettyboys can shake a stick to my Paco, but I’m not going to tell him!”, because, since he was trying to show her that what she had at home was better than anything “out there”, the sex was being quite more imaginative and fun than usually.
It wouldn’t bother me.
I sent my boyfriend off to my brother’s bachelor party in Vegas. And I asked no questions when he returned.
Seriously, if I can’t trust him for one weekend, why the hell am I with him?
I also agree with most of the posters so far. If you can’t trust him, why are you with him?
I would have no problem at all letting my boyfriend go to a bachelor party. Don’t get me wrong…I have no delusions about what can go on at those events. And I’m sure I don’t want to know everything that went on. However, I trust my boyfriend and know he wouldn’t be doing anything that would jeapordize our relationship.
When one of my friends was getting married, the guys had their party the same night we had ours and we all met at a bar afterward. From what I heard, the bachelorette party was way more outrageous than the bachelor party
I’m hearing a lot of naive shit in here. I’ll tell you what goes on.
My friend was invited to a bachelor party up in Montreal, which is apparently a prostitution Mecca in North America. There were lap dances aplenty, sure, but then the groom-to-be chose a whore and fucked her six ways to Sunday.
Oh, but of course he’ll never cheat again. I’ll pass over in silence what my friend did, who is currently in a “committed” relationship. This is how male sexuality works, people. Most guys wanna get laid by lots of different women. If you give them the leeway, they will use it.
And yet you say, “It’s OK that he gets lap dances, but of course he’ll do nothing else. And if I can’t trust him, then what am I in this relationship for?” As though getting a lapdance were not a form of “cheating” in itself. That’s rich!
My guess is that your guys went to Vegas and boned a pro. That’s the default assumption. Personally, I have zero interest in strippers and whores and have never once seen a live stripper in action. Not that that makes me virtuous; it’s just not my thing. But I do know that guys who love their women can still go a little extracurricular, if you know what I mean. If you think that they if they pay for bootie they will automatically look guity or “different” upon return to the homestead, that’s naive too.
If I seem harsh, it’s because women’s willful naivety ends up tying both themselves and their partners in sexual knots. If you want monogomy, it takes a lot of work. And if you want polyamory, that takes a lot of work, too. Letting your man go to strip club and assuming that he’s still “being good” seems to me like the ultimate self-deception.
Eh. Can’t imagine he’d be overly thrilled by it, he’s never expressed much interest in strippers but I wouldn’t be upset if he told me he was going. He’s told me about his previous (funny and pathetic - tiny cover charge but oh boy was he naive about how they gouge you on the beverages) strip club experience; so if he wanted to have a more interesting one, that’d be fun too.
Then again, we’re not really tied to the apron strings types.
As for trust, we spent the first year of our marriage on different continents, he among lots of lovely undergrads who seemed very impressed with his bad grad student self, and I trusted him then, so I’d not expect him to be ‘boning’ any pros just because the opportunity arose, so to speak.
Yeah, but Idlewild you seem to be talking about a guy who’s not really into strippers and that kind of thing anyway.
I did not mean to imply in my post that all guys are sex-crazy. Some guys are and are totally monogomous, some guys are and will bone anything. Some guys are undersexed and monogomy is no hardship for them, etc.
But if your man is into sex plus strippers and porn and whatnot, please don’t assume he’ll be “good” at the bachelor party!
Please don’t assume that forbidding him to go to a bachelor party will prevent unacceptable sexual behavior, either.
Trying to control another adult’s behavior is a pretty fruitless endeavor.