The Stripper, the Bachelor Party, and the Wedding that Wasn't

Many years ago, I attended a bachelor party for a casual friend. A very attractive stripper was hired to provide entertainment, which she did. She danced provocatively and removed her clothing (as strippers often do) and ended up completely naked. She then accepted monetary donations from the attendees in creative ways, depending on the amount of money offered. For one dollar bills, she would squeeze her breasts around the bill, and take it out of the guy’s hand, or out of his mouth if he held it between his lips. For larger amounts, the guy could lay on the floor, place the bill on his face, and she would straddle him & pick up the bill with her labia. Almost every guy there donated some cash to this hard-working young lady (including myself), and a wonderful time was had by all.

However, the next day, very few of the gentlemen present had a wonderful time, and not because of the after-effects of alcohol consumption. The fellow who hosted the party (and who was supposed to be the best man in the wedding) told the girlfriend of one of the attendees exactly what happened- in detail. He named names, describing what the stripper did, and to whom. The girlfriend of one of the attendees then called the wife of another attendee and shared the information she had recently acquired.

The proverbial “snowball effect” kicked in. Almost every wife or girlfriend of every guy there confronted their SO with the information, and a terrible time was had by all- except by myself and a couple of other guys (including the fellow who hosted the party), who were not in relationships at the time.
I went to the party with my best friend, and he did not fare so well, being married.

There’s an episode of The Simpsons that is very much like what actually happened, and it came out right around the time all of this took place. It’s the one where Bart takes a picture of Homer with an exotic dancer, Marge sees it and kicks Homer out of the house, and he goes to stay with Barney. My friend’s wife was very upset when she heard what happened, kicked my friend out of the house, and he came to stay with me. That evening, we drank some beer and discussed recent events.

Before retiring, I had the presence of mind to turn off the ringer on my phone and turn down the volume on my answering machine. I knew his wife fairly well and was reasonably certain that she would call my place in the morning, earlier than either one of us was ready to accept calls. And I was right; when we woke up, there were two messages on the machine. The first consisted of two words- “Fuck you!”- and the second was longer, explaining that she needed to talk to her husband about something. He ended up calling her back, they talked, he went back home, and eventually all was well.

Not so with the prospective groom and the bride-to-be. She was so upset she called off the wedding, and the relationship came to an end. And in an odd twist, the fellow who hosted the party ended up in a relationship with the former bride-to-be!

The host should have his man card revoked. What happens at bachelor parties… you know the rest.

Ugh, geez, my wedding is coming up and the best man is throwing my fiance a batchelor party. I KNOW it will involve naked women and might possibly involve things that I really shouldn’t know about, especially right before my wedding.

For the last year I’ve been telling myself over and over that I trust him and, really, it is his last blow out. I dunno. I’m on the fence with this. I think if that happened that I would be upset, but I certainly wouldn’t call off the wedding. I’d just hold it over his head for years.

I agree; I lost a lot of respect for him after that.

This might explain everything…

For the record, I don’t remember if the bachelor took part in any of the activities- he may have remained an observer.

You’re just saying that to make me feel better. :wink:

Either the “best” man is an active asshole who enjoyed screwing people over, or is the world’s biggest idiot for hooking up with this woman who would stop a wedding for her fiance observing stuff she doesn’t like at a bachelor’s party.

Either way, I’d really like to see a woman pick up cash with her labia. That sounds impressive.

Did it work?:slight_smile:

Or he’s both!

It was especially impressive from the point of view I had!

I attended a bachelor party where there were strippers and the bachelor did not participate.

Both the bride and groom did not want the other to have strippers but the bachelor still wanted the bachelor party to have strippers.

So basically there was one big “about to be married party” and at an arranged time both male and female strippers showed up and went off to different rooms. Guys went to one room and girls to another and the strippers went to the appropriate rooms while the bride and groom and some of the guest retired to the back yard.

I only watched the strippers for about 5 minutes and then went out back to have some more beer. I’m just not much of a stripper guy unless I’ll be having sex with the girl that is stripping.

So the party went off well and evryone had fun except for one guy. Later on after the strippers left one guy was really drunk and upset because he has given so much money to the stripper that he was claiming he was going to have trouble paying bills that month.

There’s is indeed something incredibly fishy about this story. First she’s so mad about the BP that she calls off the wedding, despite the fact that he was a passive observer, then she hooks up with the guy who organized the whole thing!?

At any rate, the non-single guys were all assholes since none of them apparently had any kind of understanding with their SOs as to what would transpire. And licking strange twat is “breaking marriage vows” material even by not-so-prudish standards. I’m sure if their wives had spent the night sucking dollars off a strippers cock the fellas would have been fine with that… right?

Bumbershoot - you had the ten-spot on your tongue?

I really don’t remember if the bachelor took part or not- but she was mad enough to cancel the wedding!

Definitely not- my mouth was closed. Smiling, but closed!

:confused: Wait, when you say “bachelor,” do you mean the groom, or the guy who held the party?

Sorry; I mean the groom- the bachelor for whom the party was thrown.

There were a lot of guys there, and I don’t recall who was actively taking part and who was observing.

Man card definitely revoked. The end result is very suspicious - sounds like an intentional plot to kill the wedding from the get-go. Any man with half a brain knows that if he releases that kind of confidential info into the wild, it will make the rounds soon enough to the unfortunate ears of the wives/SO’s. So this guy is either brainless, or had a secret agenda.

I have a big issue with putting money in/on my mouth, regardless of where it is going or its intent.

That’s kind of hypocritical, no? But he was okay in the end with her having strippers?

At the last bacherlor party I went to, we got drunk and played HALO.

That’s all.

No stripper, no emergency run to the a friends house, no stripper with a dildo, no other topless girls, no having to break into a drunk girls house to get her into her bed.

Nope, none of that. Just played HALO.

My understanding is that neither wanted the other to participate in the stripping events, but the bachelor thought that there should be strippers. This doesn’t seem hypocritical to me. If I were getting married, I’d be uncomfortable participating in the sorts of things described in the OP, or having my fiancee participate, but I do think that strippers are, while not required, a standard bachelor party fixture.

I also don’t necessarily think it hypocritical that the OP’s bride ends up with the worst man (although it certainly smells). It’s reasonable to have different standards for behavior around strippers when in a relationship than when not. So maybe it’s ok in the bride’s mind that worst man hired strippers while he was single, even though it was not ok for former groom to join in.