At the end of May my best friend is getting hitched and I have to throw the bachelor party. I’ve had some ideas - like renting alimo for bar-hopping or the inevitable strip club. I was just curious if any doper out there might have had some experience doing this in the past and can give me some tips or ideas. Any help would be be most appreciated . . . I’ll drink a frosty one in your honor.
Remember - stay away from hookers. They’re just bad news. I’m not even kidding. One will end up dead somehow, like being impaled on a bathroom clothes hook or playing trampoline on a bedsheet, and you’ll be spending the rest of your goddamn life paying for that mistake. Hookers = bad.
I really wish you had posted the age of the groom and where you are (big city, just out of college, how long they have been engaged, etc.). These are tips from a 41 year-old male who’s been hosting and attending bachelor parties since age 15.
Who is the party for? Are you doing things the groom would like to do? Are you trying to impress the attendees? Are you trying to just get shitfaced?
A couple of suggestions:
The groom does not have sex with a woman other than his bride. Don’t even joke about it.
You must protect the groom. This means a. he must not get in a fight, b. no one takes picture of him with a naked woman or allows him to do anything that would make the bridesmaid go “Ewww”, c. no one gets him so drunk he can’t remember the night. Why have a bachelor party if you can’t remember it?
If you break one of the above rules, you are not a friend to the groom. It’s a tough place to be, but gentlemen will realize that the best bachelor party is one that is memorable but not cringeworthy, and that ends up with the groom’s friends all going out for breakfast.
The best bachelor parties I’ve ever been to featured porn movies, kegs and hanging out.
The worst featured the groom puking by 9 pm and passing out still (literally) getting dragged around; the groom having sex without his bride; and behavior that made the bride cry when she heard about it.
Livestock? No. Trust me. Bad idea.
Tripler
$4000 worth of carpet later. . . :rolleyes:
Some real bastards were behind my bachelor’s party. I was sent on a tour of “daffy groom tricks” to get the directions to the location.
Anyone who shows up with a camera should be beaten severely and stuffed into the trunk of a car for the evening.
Unclviny
Boy, you’re no fun at all. I was going to suggest the frat boy’s motto: When Possible, Involve a Cow.
I had a pretty sedate bachelor party, mostly because (a) I’m a pretty boring guy, and (b) my best man was an ex-girlfriend, so she wasn’t even at the party…
I am planning a bach as well and we are renting out the local Elks Club from 8-12 with, food, an open bar, some strippers and watching whatever game is on the TV. After Midnight those who are still up for it can join us for some bar hopping in Queens/Manhattan.
This works because some of out friends are already married (can’t stay out too late) or not big drinkers (don’'t want to hang out with drunk friends) so they can hangout with us for the start and don’t feel obligated to go out all night.
The main thing has already been said - NO CAMERAS. Chances are if you get strippers and get mighty drunk something stupid will happen. Having photographic proof of that stupidity is a bad idea.
Following up on whistlepig:
Rule 3: Never, EVER make the groom late for the wedding, rehearsal, or photo shoot session. The best way to do this is to have the bachelor party a week or two before the wedding.
I heard a story a few years ago, about a brother of a co-worker. The guys took the groom out the night before the wedding, and got him insanely drunk. Then they took him to the airport and put him on a plane across the country. Without a change of clothes, return ticket, etc, etc. He almost missed the wedding.
NOT funny.
whistlepig is right. Your goal is to have a good time, not cause someone to do time. Good food and good booze are great, card games are fun, porn videos are fine. A stripper might be OK if there are no cameras or camcorders. Recording the evidence is just poor form. Unexplained tattoos immortalizing “Helga” are just not good, not at all.
One of the most memorable parties I went to had a projector with a screen hung in front of a large window. There was no curtain on the window. Anyone driving by could see the same thing we were watching inside - oops…
FWIW, when my brother got married, he and his wedding party were all pretty clean-cut, conservative, Christian kinds of guys, so the bachelor party did not involve any alcohol, strippers, porn, or anything that could result in remorse or hard feelings. It did, however, involve lots of toilet paper, duct tape, a blindfold, a “Bride-To-Be” sign, and miniature golf.
If you’ll be going to more than one bar or other, uh, establishments, rent a limo, bus or van. Yeah, limos are tacky, but a DUI or wreck could ruin your whole night. And the party can continue en route. It’s a good idea to start the night with dinner.
I agree with the earlier posts about protecting the groom and no cameras. Also, if anyone attending lacks social sense, make sure that he knows that discussing the bachelor party in front of others at the wedding is taboo. If you are the best man, this is your responsibility. That means that you can’t get drunk and out of control.
(Try to avoid having your appendix pulled 3 days before the party, too. Unfortunately, that happened to me when I was the best man at a friend’s wedding last year. Still was a great party, though.)
The stock answer to questions (and there will be questions) should be “We all had a great time catching up with friends we hadn’t seen for a while, and everybody got home safe.” Repeat if necessary until the questioner gets the point.
Sorry, but that was not a bachelor party.
Anyway
The designtated driver or bus rental idea above is a good one. Also, lets not forget poker. And the most important rule is that the bride, bridesmaids, female friends, or any women who are not strippers or hookers should not be within 50 miles of the festivities.
And I hope this suggestion doesn’t make me sound like a complete wet blanket, but…
Don’t ever lie to the bride-to-be (or any of the wives/girlfriends of the bachelor party participants, for that matter) about what the planned activities will be. BAD idea.
I was part of a bachelor party a couple of years ago that went down in history as the BEST. BACHELOR. PARTY. EVER. Played paintball during the day, went to the hotel, got cleaned up, went to the casino, had a huge dinner and gambled, then went to the strip clubs till 4 am. Had an amazing time. Nobody did anything reprehensible, we all behaved ourselves (aside from getting the groom dragged up on stage at the strip club and ridden around the stage like a pony, but that’s beside the point…) and nobody did anything they should be ashamed of.
However, the bachelor had the bright idea of telling his bride-to-be that we weren’t going to a strip club, oh no, we were just going out drinking! Yup, nothing lewd going on here!
Unfortunately, this wasn’t the brightest bulb in the box… He had never clued us in on what he’d told his wife; none of us knew that he’d lied to her about the strip club! So when I casually mentioned the bachelor party in front of her a couple of months later, she went absolutely berserk. Screaming, throwing things, the whole shot. I fled the house in terror for my life. For a week, this guy was living in an armed camp before he finally got her calmed down. He was seriously considering moving in with me for a couple of days.
So guys, be honest with your wives about what you’ve got planned for your party. It’s best for all concerned.
[Henny Youngman voice] I just came back from a bulemic bachelor party—I saw a cake pop out of a girl! [/Henny Youngman voice]
Truer words were never spoken.
And for the last time…
NO HOOKERS! Not under ANY conditions!
Somebody always talks!
Mine was pretty tame, but rather fun. My brother, the best man, got a bunch of my friends together and we went paintballing for a few hours. Then grilled out for awhile. A few guys agreed to drive and not drink, and we hoped around to a few different strip clubs. The bad part was having too many guys buying me tequilla shots – uuhh. I can handle my share of alcohol, but tequilla gets me everytime.
Basically I think the idea of having a couple of fun things works best – eg mini-golf, golf, paintball, and then onto some drinking fun with the guys.
Crochet. Lots of crochet.
Oh…and quiche.
Best bachelor party I went to, the best man rented a huge van (think, Church Bus style) with enough room for 12 or 13 people, and hired another friend to drive us around from strip club to strip club and bar to bar.
One note, almost every strip club has a set package for bachelor parties, which they will use to embarass your friend horrifically. Depending on the friend, this could either be fun, or … horrific. Don’t assume he’d love it, really THINK about it before you send him up onstage to be publically humiliated, or he might just leave you out of the wedding.