“Bachelors - you might want to rethink the marriage if your fiance is the type who forbids going to strip clubs.” - That would be one hell of a choice… I’d rather not marry this woman that I love so that I can freely go to strip clubs.
''Cause it’s gay. The night is about the bachelor and unless he’s gay, he won’t enjoy seeing a bunch of naked dudes." Do you think it’s less gay for a woman to go to a tittie bar?
“While not exactly the picture a new bride wants to paint of her future husband, it’s pretty much harmless.” Having my future husband wrestle in a pit of anything with a naked woman would be grounds for the relationship to end. I would hope that my potential future fiance would not want me wrestling with a big strong naked man (with a hard on) in a tub of mud. I would hope that he would see something wrong with that scenario.
“What goes on at the bachelor party stays there.” I understand that. Like I said, if a guy was told that his bride was absolutely going to do something he would be really really pissed about (in fact, something he would possibly break up over), how would he handle it?
LOL. I’m not that gullable about bachelor parties in the movies
Anyway, is it just me being naive, or is strippers and/or hookers generally a NORM at bachelor parties? All around the world?
I’m intrigued (and surprised/appalled). OK, awaiting more comments in this thread, I’ll throw a pseudo-psychological theory out in the open: Can it be that strippers etc. are a frequent part of bachelor parties in countries/societies which are sort of sexually repressed? I mean where sex is taboo the desire to have it must be stronger, right? So the the bachelor party is seen as a rare legit occasion to engage in such filthy activities? I dunno, just speculating.
I used to (innocently) think that men deserved a bachelor party with his buddies. I assumed it was a bunch of drinking guys looking at the girls dancing on stage. As soon as I realized that interaction was the key, I was upset at the idea.
Truly, the idea of some skanky bitch rubbing her crotch all over my guy (and worse?) gets my blood boiling. I’ve seen lap dances and I am not sure if I would be any more upset at him if he got a blow job. Those dances are as close to cheating as you can get without insertion.
I don’t wonder why they keep it a secret. I wonder why it’s so generally accepted by women around the world.
Tster, I’m curious, have you ever been to a (female) strip club? Have you gotten a lap dance yourself?
Personally I’ve heard of crazy stuff going on with both bachelor AND bachelorette parties. I think a lot of grooms are getting painted by a pretty broad brush regarding bachelor parties. I don’t condone a person cheating on their fiancee before their wedding, but if both parties have a mutual understanding of what goes on, I fail to see the problem.
No and no (being that I’m not attracted to women, I fail to see why this would be anything I should try). But as far as lap dances are concerned, I’ve seen them on tv & I’ve been told that the basic act is depicted pretty accurately.
“…but if both parties have a mutual understanding of what goes on, I fail to see the problem.” Absolutely. However, how often can that be assured? We can come to a great understanding… keep your clothes on… no touching… etc. BUT, when he gets drunk (and his friends get drunk) and they have their guy code of secrecy, the lines that we drew earlier will become fuzzy (ie “Excuse me miss, please stop sticking your tits in my face” probably won’t be a sentence uttered at a bachelor party).
I am of the opinion that anything he would be embarrased for me to see should basically be something that he doesn’t do (and of course, the same would go for me).
I don’t know you, but from your posts in this thread, it sounds like you have some trust issues. You’ve worked yourself into a jealous frenzy over imagined misdeeds of your boyfriend, based on second hand worst-case horror stories. A bachelor party is about a guy having time with his friends, not about his future wife being afraid to let him out of her sight for fear of what he might do.
If your boyfriend/fiance is the sort of person who would have sex with a stripper at his bachelor party, he’s the sort of person who would cheat on you at any other time as well. There’s nothing magical about bachelor parties that forces guys to cheat on their fiancees. Some people cheat. If you think your boyfriend might be one of them, don’t marry him.
I’ve been to several bachelor parties and nobody has ever had sex. I’ve always thought it was 3/4 myth and 1/4 cheating assholes trying to live up to said myth. As has been mentioned at least twice allready, if your BF is the kind of guy who would have nooky at his bachelor party he is the kind of guy who will cheat on you once married. Bachelor parties are about getting drunk/baked/whatever you are into, with your friends. Kind of a joke thing," 'cause you won’t be getting any more kitchen passes,a heh heh heh".
My brother’s wife-to-be told him that the marriage would be off if his bachelor party involved strip clubs or anything else with naked women. So my brother sat in a bus as his brothers and all of his friends went to a strip club. Nobody has ever told his wife that he sat on the bus and obeyed her while his friends had a good time having a couple of drinks and watching women dance around naked to AC/DC songs. I think if she knew, she would realize that she could trust him and that he wouldn’t break that trust, even while looking at naked women. But she didn’t trust him and all of us know it. I hope she has learned to trust him by now.
My bachelor party didn’t involve strip clubs or naked women, and my wife was sad. She thought I was missing out on an important part of the tradition. I had seen enough strange tits and ass by that point in my life, so strip clubs bored me, but at least she trusted me enough to not try to stop me from having some innocent fun.
If you trust the guy you’re marrying, saying “Don’t do anything stupid” should be enough to make sure he understands that you won’t tolerate any hanky-panky. If you have any doubts that your future husband will be faithful, don’t marry him. If he has sex with a hooker at his bachelor party, he has probably cheated on you before and you didn’t know it, so what’s the difference?
I never said I thought he would cheat on me. I also would not tell him not to have a bachelor party. I’m certainly not in a jealous frenzy & I trust him 100%.
My only question here is why is it so common and accepted. The secondhand stories are probably true and you all have said that it’s simply not acceptable to talk about the bps afterward so I’m assuming that unacceptable things will happen. Why should it?
Everyone goes into it knowing that the bride would probably get very pissed off if she finds out what really happens but yet if brides have issues with this, it’s tough shit (she ends up being told she is in a “jealous frenzy over imagined misdeeds of your boyfriend”).
I really don’t see the shoe on the other foot ever. Of all the bachelorette parties I have been to and heard about in my 34 years, I’ve never seen or heard of anything happening that the groom would get mad about.
I keep asking this question but it’s getting ignored and I’m really curious… if a guy was told that his woman would most probably do something at a party that would cause him to break up with her if he found out about it, but there was nothing he could do to prevent it and he probably won’t ever find out what exactly it is … how would he react?
Geez, do you really see me in a jealous frenzy? I feel like I’m looking at this completely objectively.
Well, the guys I know that whore a lot, have multiple sex partners, a couple of girlfriends on the sly, etc., tend to have pretty wild bachelor parties with an awful lot of hookers in attendance. Like this should be some kind of surprise? Especially in Asia where hookers can be had pretty cheaply.
On the other hand, guys that are committed to their SO’s tend to do pretty much male bonding stuff like get drunk and play cards without the hookers.
IMHO, wild bachelor parties tend to occur with wild guys especially as the bachelor or as one of the organizers.
It speaks to the fact that this woman you love has trust/control issues that, in the long run, will probably drive you insane.
That’s the most naive thing I’ve ever heard. There isn’t a stripper alive that gets turned on by giving a guy a lap dance.
Women who hold similar opinions to yours are the cause for the “NEVER TELL” rule. You’d break up with this guy you supposedly love for mud wrestling?! Yeesh. Oh wait, that’s right, she was turned on. Sorry, I forgot.
I’ve been to a ton of bachelor parties. Of the ones I can recall off the top of my head:
Party 1: Bunch of guys at a house. Drinking games, poker, darts, horseshoes, blackjack, and craps. One cute stripper gave lap dances to everybody, then left. Bachelorette party joined the party around midnight. It was planned that way, and was absolutely perfect. (They had been to Chip 'n Dales or whatever before coming over.) One of the most fun times of my life.
Party 2: Rented out American Legion (or Vet something…I forget what they’re called at the moment). Much booze, darts. (Risky combo, btw…) Two strippers came in for lesbian show. It was almost exactly like the climax of Requiem for a Dream, except it was a strap-on, as opposed to double-header. Finale involved stripper putting leash and collar on groom and making him crawl around on all fours. We were all just drunk enough to pull it off. No lap dances that I recall, but being the best show any of us had ever seen, nobody minded. (Those girls were smokin’ hot!)
Party 3: Bunch of guys at a house. (Same house as Party 1.) Drinking games, poker, darts, horseshoes. One decent-looking stripper performed nasty show. I should probably explain “nasty” before the women start filing for divorce: Groom laying flat on back, stripper standing over him in thong, pouring beer down the crack of her ass aiming for his mouth. Ugh. Luckily, he managed to turn his head away in time, but barely. Possibly a blow-job or two in back for some of the really hard-up guys. (It was very discrete and mostly pitiable. Certainly nobody from the bridal party.)
Party 4: Barbecue and beers at groom’s house. Horseshoes and frisbee. One skanky stripper with fresh, oozing tattoo on her ass. I’d call her a butter-face, but her body was just as bad. We were all relieved to get rid of her after obligatory lap dances for groom and best man. Much more fun when she left.
Party 5: Barhopping (with designated drivers) in NY State…State law: no strippers on Sunday. Boooooo!!! We were all pissed when we found out, but still had fun. Played pool at one place.
Party 6: Closed off section of favorite watering hole. No stripper. Drank and played cards. (Lame. We all felt bad; only a dozen guys showed.)
Those are the ones I recall. They are listed in order of how enjoyable the memory is of each. The biggest rule, adhered to at all events with strippers involved, is that the best man is responsible for taking care of the groom. If it is deemed the groom is too drunk to know what is going on, and therefore is at risk to cross a line, the best man steps in to take control and stop him.
This is important, ladies, so take this to heart: The best man is looking out for your interests. If you don’t like the best man, or have come between the friendship of your fella and his best man in the past, you are weakening his resolve to watch out for your groom.
I’m not saying any of this applies universally. I’m saying it applies to every bachelor party I’ve ever been to.
Now, why on earth should I tell any of these stories to the brides? What good could come of it? As far as “they shouldn’t do anything that would piss the bride off”, you forget that almost anything a guy enjoys might piss his bride off. Maybe she hates that he goes golfing every Saturday. Does that mean golfing is off limits at a bachelor party? Most women would be pissed if her man stayed out gambling all night getting piss-drunk with his buddies. So that’s off limits too?
Bachelor parties are just that: parties where the groom gets to party like he was a bachelor just hanging out with the guys. They should never be the night before the wedding…they are supposed to be the week-end before. What’s supposed to happen is after the groom recovers from the two-day hangover, he realizes “I can’t handle that lifestyle anymore. Thank God I’m getting married next week. I don’t know how those poor single schlubs do it.”
And yes. I consider breaking off an engagement for a lap dance or mud wrestling to be a “jealous frenzy.”
This is why you’re not getting the answer you want. It is not common and it is not accepted that men will have sex with whores at their bachelor parties. That just doesn’t happen very often. When it does happen, the bachelor party is not the cause; the cause is that the guy is a dirtbag. Nobody will talk about it for the same reason that they don’t talk about it when he cheats the rest of the time – it’s nobody’s business but the guy’s. If he cheats (at his bachelor party or any other time), his friends won’t tell you. Just like if you were cheating and your friends knew about it, you would expect them to keep quiet.
Of all the bachelor parties I have been to, I have been free to tell my wife or girlfriend (if I had one at the time)everything that happened. EVERYTHING. It’s called trust. I also trusted her NOT to tell other g/fs since those relationships seemed much less able to handle it.
I’m reading in your words exactly the things that have gone through my thoughts. And I know myself well to know that it’s jealousy (in my case stemming from lack of self-worth).
Not that it’s exactly the same for you, but that’s how I “see” you.
So you’ve been to a load of Hen nights where nothing untoward happened?
I can assure you I’ve heard of a lot of hen nights where some pretty dodgy stuff did go down. (But then knowing the people involved I’m not surprised.)
But it’s not capable for a man to have a harmless stag night?
Cos all men are intrinsically evil and perverted, or at have at least one friend who is?
You only hear about the dodgy ones, and it takes a certain type of person to organise a dodgy stag night, and a certain type of person to attend one if they knew who was organising it.
You’re not gonna hear about the ones where the lads go out have a few beers, maybe fall over and go home.
They’re not scandalous, where’s the interest in talking about that!
We want to hear about the terrible ones, so we can all shake our heads and say “ooooh, Women would never do anything like that, we sit around having a cup of tea and talk about embroidery and kittens”.
You know your man, I take it you also know most of the friends who are likely to be there on his stag night. If you’re worried about it now, either him cheating on you, or his friends leading him astray, then you had beeter do something about it now, cos he’s and/or his friends are unlikely to change just cos you stick a bit of metal on his finger.
(same of course applies to your friend).
That’s the idea. Strip clubs soon becomes beers with your friends. Then weekly golf or softball.
I forgot to mention. The cardinal rule of bachelor parties (even higher then “what goes on here stays here”) is "absolutely no girls who are not working professional strippers)
Yes. That is why I would not marry a stripper.
Well you don’t tell her that
:rolleyes:
Besides, as I already pointed out, if your fiance is not cool with a lapdance (and in most stripclubs there is no touching and there is no sex in the Champaign Room) then you are probably better off without her.
isthatsowrong?
:rolleyes:
Your brother is a pussy
If he is going to sit on a bus in secret (which no woman would believe) why not go the whole 9 yards and go inside the stripclub?
His best man is a pussy for allowing this to happen
Women don’t “learn to trust” they learn that they can browbeat their man into making more and more concessions for the sake of “staying out of the doghouse”.
This marriage is certainly off to a fine start as long as your brother never makes any waves.
I can only speak for American bachelor parties.
I don’t think so. The bachelor party is generally a last fling for a guy and all his friends to go out and party as single men. The strippers are there to make the party as wild as possible without crossing the line into break-up territory. It’s for the friends as well as the bachelor since once he’s married, he won’t be available to hang out as much, if at all.
The tone of the bachelor party reflects the personality of the bachelor. Most of my friends like to party but they are fairly responsible. The result is they have pretty standard bachelor parties ranging from the lame (golf-dinner-hang out at Hogs & Heffers in NYC (the bar that Coyote Ugly was based off of, although there is also a Coyote Ugly)) to three day long mini-vactions in Atlantic City or New Orleans where we spent three days drinking and stripclubbing.
The reaction I’m getting here is very interesting.
I would completely let my guy have a bachelor party, in fact, he goes to a strip club every few months with his friends & it’s not a big deal.
If I was told that the bp was basically a lap dance in front of the crowd and other innocent guy stuff, then I don’t see why it would have to be so secretive.
“You’re not gonna hear about the ones where the lads go out have a few beers, maybe fall over and go home.” I actually do hear about these, too.
You guys are getting so defensive. My man thinks I am the greatest thing ever… he shoud break up with me because I might not be happy about him mud wrestling with a naked whore? You guys can say this without knowing anything at all about me? For the record, of course I wouldn’t break up over a lapdance. It’s the secretive stuff that I wonder about.
A pussy? Perhaps. Or, maybe he just didn’t want to go… did you think of that? A few guys on this thread have said it’s not their thing. So, the guys leave the bachelor in a freakin’ bus? What kind of friends are those?
You guys have talked about all kinds of other fun things to do for a bachelor party so why didn’t they respect the bachelor’s wishes (regardless of the reason) and do something for him?
