Backwoods Wedding Invitations

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I got some dem weddin invites in da mail!

Everyone has those family members that no one really talks about, right? Please don’t tell me it’s just me!

My cousin sent out wedding invitations, and we all got a pretty good laugh out of it. But it was a scary laugh…

Mine was addressed to “Mr. Mrs BearNapples”
First of all, I am not married. And if I was, how about an “and” between “Mr. Mrs.” But those are just minor compared to the fact that my last name is “NENNO”, not fucking “Napples”. And how about putting a space between my first and, supposedly last name. (Or hell… at least an underscore. he he he)

My brother’s was addressed to “Mr. Mrs Chris Napples”

My other brother’s was addressed to “Mr. Mrs Micheal Schiedenhelm”
That’s not even CLOSE to “Nenno”. That’s my mother’s maiden name. WTF?

My parent’s was addressed to “Joy and Steave”.
Close. . .

Poor kid. Shows what a lack of 9th grade education will do for you. Maybe I shouldn’t nitpick. Everyone has typos… but you’d think someone would proof read her wedding invitations. And you know… had my last name been spelled “Nino, Neno, Ninno” or any other million variations, I would have not cared as much. But “Napples” isn’t even close. At least she spelled Schiedenhelm correctly. Too bad that isn’t my brother’s last name. Hell, I can only assume she spelled “Napples” correctly too.

There is an RSVP post card inside. I have to find a stamp now.

At the top, I have to write my name in. It just has a big “Mr. Mrs” and a blank line. Should I put “Nenno” or “Napples”???

Inside the card:

A Special Love Shared by Two
A Lifetime Filled with Dreams Come True
A Special Love Like No Other
With Eight Kids and No Others

Yes, she is 19 (maybe 20). She has 8 kids, three of them hers and she is marrying a 30 something year old deadbeat. Woohoo! Get your shotguns and moonshine, we havin ourselves a weddin!!!

“Backyard Reception to Following at Chuck’s Home”

[SIC]

2

Bear_Napples, that was hilarious.

I’m trying like hell to parse this. Maybe it should read: Backyard Recpetion, too! Following [the wedding, located] at Chuck’s Home"

And to answer you question, all of the people like that are on my husband’s side of the family. Oh, the stories I could tell!

3

I was going to say, be weary of “Cooters Recepshun Hall”, but the backyard is much funnier.

Hope they gots some skeeter traps.

Makes scenes like those in the original “Vacation” more believable than ever.

4

I’m so glad Cletus is finally making an honest woman of Brandine.

May I show up, so I can glare through my lorgnette periodically and go, “wel, really!”

5

Love the rhyming of ‘other’ with ‘others.’ mwah!

“With 8 kids and no others” … how many more ‘others’ could there be?

6

Gasp! No stamp on the RSVP card. That is bad etiquitte!! :stuck_out_tongue:

7

So are you going?

8

Gosh! Don’t you sound so much better than them?!

9

So, which Village Person are you going as? :smiley:

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Yes, yes he is.

11

Now then, you know that there’s only one way to arrive: by parachute.

12

Or yes, yes he does.

See, I can’t even be sarcastic without making a typo.

13

Oh yes, of course! And what fun it is to pick on them in front of my friends to boost my self-esteem. :rolleyes: Only people with self esteem issues pick on others, right?
I assume this was your point. That I am not a good person because I’m putting others down. Spare me that tripe. I’ve been called many bad things by all sorts of people. The absolute least of which are elitist, arrogant, pompous or self-centered. Judge me how you wish, but when you’re done watching Oprah and you put down that How to be a more Wonderful Person book for five minutes, you’ll realize this is all in good fun.
Had I called her up and told her what an uneducated, tactless twit she is, then I could see where I’d be wrong for doing so. She at least could have known my last name. I know hers.

And yes. Provided I have nothing else going on that day, I will attend. After all, she’s :gasp: family, and since my brother cant go, I’ll have to represent the Napples!!
It should be lots of fun. I’ll bring my coon dog and shotgun. And maybe marry me a wife. I heard cousin Betty is lookin hot! Wooo Eeeee!

JuanitaTech, I believe it was supposed to be “Backyard Reception to Follow at Chuck’s Home” Though I don’t like the way that sounds either. Too many prepasitions I guess.

14

If only I had a plane!! [Homer] Unless. . .[/Homer]

swampbear, HA! Well, I need to get that Chief covered somehow, don’t I?
Eve, you are more than welcome to attend! Afterall, I need to bring Mrs. Napples!! However, you will have to supply a covered dish for the backyard reception. Says so right here on the invitation.

15

I’m thinking it was supposed to be “Backyard reception to follow, at Chuck’s home”.

And violacrane, if one of my own cousins screwed up the surnames of myself and multiple others, I’d feel just fine about rolling my eyes over that, and anything else that I found in the invitation.

16

I laughed like an idiot at this.

And, as one who will be sending out my own wedding invites in the near future, I shall consider myself suitably forewarned.

Note to self: Be sure to punctuate the invites to them city-folk.

17

My cousin had a hillbilly wedding. Back yard of the groom’s parents’ house, kegs in a bucket of ice kind of thing with Porta-Potties and the whole deal.

Unfortunately, she sent out serious, engraved invitations that made it look like a formal affair.

While everyone else had a grand old time in the muddy grass wearing their shit kickin boots, my mother, grandmother, father and I were all dressed up and quickly ruining good suits.

It was still kind of fun, though.

18

Maybe the Duke boys will get into a tussle with Rosco P. Coltrain when they refuse to move their vee-hicle off the front lawn.

Boss Hogg is bound to wind up in the mud…somehow.

Daisy Duke: Best Dressed.

19

Bear Nipples…hee hee!

20

[QUOTE=Bear_Nenno]
Oh yes, of course! And what fun it is to pick on them in front of my friends to boost my self-esteem. :rolleyes: Only people with self esteem issues pick on others, right?
I assume this was your point. That I am not a good person because I’m putting others down. Spare me that tripe. I’ve been called many bad things by all sorts of people. The absolute least of which are elitist, arrogant, pompous or self-centered. Judge me how you wish, but when you’re done watching Oprah and you put down that How to be a more Wonderful Person book for five minutes, you’ll realize this is all in good fun.
Had I called her up and told her what an uneducated, tactless twit she is, then I could see where I’d be wrong for doing so. She at least could have known my last name. I know hers.

And yes. Provided I have nothing else going on that day, I will attend. After all, she’s :gasp: family, and since my brother cant go, I’ll have to represent the Napples!!
It should be lots of fun. I’ll bring my coon dog and shotgun. And maybe marry me a wife. I heard cousin Betty is lookin hot! Wooo Eeeee!

I’ve fixed my location so you can make the right kind of assumptions about where I’m coming from now :smiley: . I did think you showed yourself up rather, especially in the last couple of paragraphs, which sounded snobbish and mean spirited, but if it’s all in good fun then I suppose YMMV and all that.