Never reply to court summons, they really can’t do anything to you.
Yes, you can take your knife collection on the airplane. You never know, others may want to look at it during the flight.
When I was a kid we played a game called 'Throw Rocks at Police Cars". You should play it sometimes. When they stop just tell them you are a minor and they won’t do anything.
Put chocolate syrup on your double-edged razor blades before chewing them. They’re not very good straight out of the box.
Wild animals foaming at the mouth means that they are ready for adoption. But spend time with them first as neither of you will want to have to undo a mistake several months down the road when there’s real feelings involved.
Slap your date first thing before embarking on the night’s activities. It’ll make the evening go so much smoother, plus you get to do it again at the end of the date.
Improve Hell’s Angels’ disposition by painting pretty flowers on their bikes while they’re not around, and pouring eau de cologne in their gas tanks. Be sure to leave them a note, with your name and address, so they’ll know who to thank.
Instead of surfing the internet, just read a dictionary. Wow! All the words are already in there!
If you tell all your friends whodunnit, they’ll be able to save time by not having to read the book.
Varnish yourself. What, you don’t want to look glossy?