Or You will die alone, upside down, on the floor of a public toilet..
thats pretty much a standard friday night out for me.
apart from the dying part obviously.
Good Dog… yes?
You don’t look that good in plaid slacks.
All the money in your wallet is counterfeit.
That sore is the first stage of syphillis.
What’s the frequency Kenneth?
The WMD were made into hoisen sauce which was an integral part of your entree.
Bush will be re-elected.
“Avast ye landlubbers! Stand to the gun’l fer a keelhaulin’!”
well, it would be a fortune… Arrr!
One I actually got:
“Confucius say: You will visit Hong Kong in October of 1995.”
That one was just so specific that it came off seeming like a threat. I never had any idea why that particular time was used.
Another that I actually got, which was freaky for me:
"Fortuna is coming your way. Lucky numbers 7, 18, 4, 11. "
I assume “fortuna” was a typo for “fortune”, however at that point in time I knew a person whose last name was Fortuna who was indeed headed my way in the near future…my birthday is 7/18 and his was 4/11. That was just STRANGE.
‹ðå¿l - foolish person
Your spouse is nice. Me love him/her long time.
Special meat mixture in pot-stickers? Perhaps ignorance is bliss.
Insert fortune here.
Smile! You’re on Super Wacky Fun Camera!
I once actually received a fortune cookie with a blank slip of paper inside of it. I didn’t think that was a good sign.
Hi, I’m Fluffy.
If found, please call the Fairview Veterinary Office.
281-555-5555
“Sorry, no fortune today. Try again tomorrow.”
“If we thought you were actually going to eat that fortune cookie, we wouldn’t have made it out of styrofoam.”
I also wonder how all of the spam ads from my inbox would look as fortune cookies.
“Your penis will magically enlarge with a special tool.”
Your date’s favorite movie is The Crying Game.
When was the last time you saw your cat? If you said during the appetizers, you were right?
Is it safe?
Your wish has been denied.
Closed for the holiday.
Do you know where your children are?
Are you talking to me?
The answer to everything is (ink smudged).
Make sure you lock your doors tonight.
Meal no more than 50% MSG by volume.
Moo goo gai pan does NOT contain raisins.
Congratulations! You just won 10 Free Hours on America Online!
**The call is coming from INSIDE your house!**Lucky numbers are: 911, 911, 911
Someone hates you and is outside right now slashing your tires. Learn chinese: The restaurant staff is laughing right now.
got milk? Lucky numbers are: 3, 11, 6, 10
That was NOT egg in your egg drop soup. Learn chinese: Ha! You screwed!
Me hate you long time. Learn chinese: The poison has no antidote.
Someone set up us the bomb.
Signs point to yes.
Reply hazy, try again.
Concentrate and ask again.
Outlook not so good.
Better not tell you now.
…
Or, onto a different theme, it would REALLY freak me out if mine just read:
www.dugg.ca
“Kung Pao” is Chinese for “Soylent Green.”
Here’s your subpoena. . . .
Go to Jail. Go Directly to Jail. Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Collect $200.
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!
Ever been indicted for racketeering before?
There’s a (non-20’s style) death ray behind you.
Does anyone actually read these things?
Are you sure you aren’t allergic to MSG?
This cookie was made out of a cardboard box.
You will be banned from the SDMB.