Band names that should be but ain't

[sub]Apologies to Jello Biafra and Wiston Smith[/sub]

For example:

The Fabulous Bee Jays

or

Disco Pederast

Hell, you can even use actual, though obscure, band names, that just need to be shared with the world, which gives me and excuse to mention:

The FUCKIN Sailors,

The Dirty Old Men,

The Killin Sticks,

and

The Army of God with Johnny and Luther,

all of which I was in at one time or another, and none of which lasted for more than a half hour, except for The Killin Sticks, who lasted long enough for us to get drunk and record on four track such future improv blues standards as “I’m Gonna Kill Ya,” “(I Put) 16 Miles of Wire (In Your Mouth),” “You Get Funky, or I Get My Gun,” and “Crackhead Tony (Fuck You!!!),” which took about three hours.

There’s certainly been a band called Army of God, I’m sure.

My bad. I meant:

God’s Army with Johnny and Luther,

as in the 12 year-old cigar smoking Burmese rebel twins with the invisible soldiers.

As featured on the website of the zine I write for.

I knew this guy who was in a band called the Ben Franklins, and they’d wear these matching shirts that said “We’re Bad Mother Franklins” on them, and I thought Bad Mother Franklins would have been a much better name.

The Go-Devils and the Gear-Daddies were actual bands in the Minneapolis area about ten years ago. The only two band names I’ve ever imagined are Throat Culture and The Terminal Woodies.

Sakura came up with “Savage Clams”. An excellent name for a rock group, IMHO.

Definitely has a ring to it, I think.

The Flaming Urinal Cakes

I was the drummer for a band called the Underage Sexual Deviants. Short lived fun, that was.

Good names:
Casual bondage
Eaters of Cheese
Cthulu’s Favorite Sandwich
Five story bonfire

The Donner Party
They’re Coming to Get You, Barbara
Horseshoes ‘n’ Hand Grenades
Susan DiLucci and the Miracle of Life
Madam Nhu and the Barbequed Monks

I once played bass for a very bad garage band called the North American Giant Salamander.

A good punk band could get away with “The Felchers”

Actual one from near where I live:
Alvin and the Chip Punks (now it’s just A.C.P.)

also

The Fratticks (named after a substitute teacher).

Crack Sex

BunnyBrains

Iron Prostate

The fictional band that lices in my head and is the inspiration for my user name …

The Jackbatties

Which (bear with me while I tell this story again) comes from an old National Lampoon article suggesting names for bands. Cowboy Bob & The Jackbatties was listed under the Country/Punk category. It cracked me up then and does to this day, hence your dear Jack was born.

P.S. - Thea, isn’t The Donner Party already taken?

Lices? Punk-Freudian slip?

That should be "lives"

The rubber Band

I saw this on the menu in a Chinese restaraunt once and it seemed like a great rock band name: Slippery Chicken.

I was in a REALLY bad garage band (we rehearsed once, and when we performed a week later the only song we didn’t trash was Johnny B Goode) called The Electric Chawberry Mountain Boys. Ah, the good old days…

*Priapism
*Skinny Puppy
*Rubber Planet
*Mind Go Flip Choir Boys
*Bambi’s Apartment
*Opie Gone Bad
*Deep Banana Blackout

Actually these are all real bands (Priapism is defunct now), but I couldn’t make up anything near as good. I’ve always thought “Squirrel Nut Zippers” was a great band name, too.

Ah yes, “Bring me the head of Jerry Garcia/He plays guitar like diarrhea…”

Classic.

You Guys Suck. That way when the audience yells it, hey, they must be fans.

Sickening Thud I like, too.