As we all know from the Colbert Report, Obama is a secret muslim who will possibly become president. His mission is clearly to enact Sharia law in the U.S, so we can be cool like the saudis and the iranians.
Thus, I propose a game in which we chart the hypothetical course of events that leads us there.
1-An 8 year presidency is assumed, so 96 months in all. I suggest we write one post per month. Example:
Jan 2011: Obama introduces the RUMUR bill which does “X”. “X” things happen, “X” things are said by “X” people. By the end of the month, “X” things have been or not accomplished.
2-No spitting on the OP.
January 2009: Obama makes a tour in several middle-eastern countries, including Syria, Egypt, Israel and the territories and makes a stirring speech about unity after bloodshed and conflict. He announces that his administration considers a peaceful, prosperous and united middle east a priority and is quoted as saying “religious war has no place in this world. God wishes all of us and our children to love and help each other, regardless of our religion or secret religion. If we have one, which most of us don’t…Anyways, Love and peace and unity!”
Many take his curious allusion to secret religion as a joke. It is promptly forgotten and there is a renewed excitement about a possible Israelo-Palestinian peace deal. Some question his silence regarding Iran.
February 2009: Upon his return from the Middle East rumors start about the two veiled women who returned with him and Michelle, and as to whether he was joking when he announced that 80s TV siren Jackee is his Second Lady. In a speech about the Fundamentalist Mormon controversy he slips and says “they must learn that in American a man can only have four wives… one wife… one wife… per Allah… by which I mean in all-a the laws of this land, one wife is the limit. And of course as many concubines as he can afford.”
June 2009: The Supreme Court reverses its 2008 decision and rules that execution by lethal injection is unconstitutional. President Obama suggests stoning as an alternative. Not paying close attention, High Times magazine endorses Obama’s plan.
Somewhat similarly, in July 2009, President Obama initiates a bill that will withhold highway funding from states that do not raise their drinking ages. He knows history says that a total Prohibition on alcohol will not work, but raising the legal age does, so he proposes an age raise to age 101. The bill goes off to Congress.
Barack Obama signs a bill reinstituting the Fairness Doctrine. In his signing statement, alcohol and pork are made illegal to sell or purchase in the United States and his territories. When questioned about this by the press, he holds up a new nickel. The next three news cycles are dominated by the headline “Ooh, Shiny!”
To massive public acclaim, Commander-in-Chief Obama brings the last American troops home from Iraq. In order to remove the USA from ‘all dangerous foreign entanglements’ in the Middle East, US troops and bases are also removed from Saudi Arabia. A general recall is instituted on all US -made or -designed weapons in Israel.