Barack Hussein Obama: Secret Muslim Edition! Mission: Sharia Law in the U.S

As we all know from the Colbert Report, Obama is a secret muslim who will possibly become president. His mission is clearly to enact Sharia law in the U.S, so we can be cool like the saudis and the iranians.

Thus, I propose a game in which we chart the hypothetical course of events that leads us there.

Suggested Rules:

1-An 8 year presidency is assumed, so 96 months in all. I suggest we write one post per month. Example:

Jan 2011: Obama introduces the RUMUR bill which does “X”. “X” things happen, “X” things are said by “X” people. By the end of the month, “X” things have been or not accomplished.

2-No spitting on the OP.

I’ll start:

January 2009: Obama makes a tour in several middle-eastern countries, including Syria, Egypt, Israel and the territories and makes a stirring speech about unity after bloodshed and conflict. He announces that his administration considers a peaceful, prosperous and united middle east a priority and is quoted as saying “religious war has no place in this world. God wishes all of us and our children to love and help each other, regardless of our religion or secret religion. If we have one, which most of us don’t…Anyways, Love and peace and unity!”

Many take his curious allusion to secret religion as a joke. It is promptly forgotten and there is a renewed excitement about a possible Israelo-Palestinian peace deal. Some question his silence regarding Iran.

February 2009: Upon his return from the Middle East rumors start about the two veiled women who returned with him and Michelle, and as to whether he was joking when he announced that 80s TV siren Jackee is his Second Lady. In a speech about the Fundamentalist Mormon controversy he slips and says “they must learn that in American a man can only have four wives… one wife… one wife… per Allah… by which I mean in all-a the laws of this land, one wife is the limit. And of course as many concubines as he can afford.”

March 2009: Present [DEL]Hussein[/DEL] Obama orders about 5,000 pounds of ammonium nitrate fertilizer to be delivered to Camp David. When asked about it he cites gardening his a reason.

–Moving to The Game Room, since this is a game and the other Mods rejected my suggestion of an all-Obama forum.–

They’ll regret their rejection come January. Imagine what the flavor of the board would have been like if all of the Bushshitting were self contained instead of strewn about the place.

Oh, and…

April 2009 - Prez Obama announces that Rachael Ray is the new White House Head Chef. She commemorates this by publishing a cook book titled “Halal for $40 a day”

The OP forgets- he’s actually a time-travelling Nazi secret Muslim!

Man, I feel sorry for the poor Skinheads and NeoNazis who have to decide whether or not to vote for a half-black crypto-muslim time traveling Nazi this November.

Hahahaha. I wonder what the mood is like at stormfront.

May 2009-
With the summer season fast approaching, President O[del]s[/del]bama directs the Surgeon General to recommend more effective UV-protection, especially for women.

Heavy, opaque clothing covering all visible skin is offered as a solution instead of tanning lotion.

Election Day-McCain Wins…Game over

I’m down with that, too.

June 2009: The Supreme Court reverses its 2008 decision and rules that execution by lethal injection is unconstitutional. President Obama suggests stoning as an alternative. Not paying close attention, High Times magazine endorses Obama’s plan.

January 2009: Obama takes office. Within one week, the first terrorist incident happens in CONUS. Obama does nothing.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

June 2009: Obama introduces RUMUR II

All members of Congress have their surnames replaced by “X”.

Senator John McX suggests this might be confusing.

Somewhat similarly, in July 2009, President Obama initiates a bill that will withhold highway funding from states that do not raise their drinking ages. He knows history says that a total Prohibition on alcohol will not work, but raising the legal age does, so he proposes an age raise to age 101. The bill goes off to Congress.

August 2009

Barack Obama signs a bill reinstituting the Fairness Doctrine. In his signing statement, alcohol and pork are made illegal to sell or purchase in the United States and his territories. When questioned about this by the press, he holds up a new nickel. The next three news cycles are dominated by the headline “Ooh, Shiny!”

September 2009

Obama approves emergency funding for the National Parks Service. Plans to have the Lincoln Memorial face Mecca are drawn up.

October 2009

To massive public acclaim, Commander-in-Chief Obama brings the last American troops home from Iraq. In order to remove the USA from ‘all dangerous foreign entanglements’ in the Middle East, US troops and bases are also removed from Saudi Arabia. A general recall is instituted on all US -made or -designed weapons in Israel.