Barbies you'll never see...

Inspired by astro’s “New from Mattel - Wicca Secret Spell Barbie!” thread, what are some Barbies (and Kens) that they’ll NEVER bring to market?
Ho Bitch Barbie - Hot pants, tank-top cut of just below her… charms, 8" platform shoes… “Get out there and make me some money!”

and of course… Pimp Ken - something like this…

Fundamentalist Barbie - turtleneck sweater, home-made bib-overalls jean skirt (ankle-length of course!) bible in one hand, baby in the other, Michael and Jerehmiah in the stroller, Caan, Rebecca, Abraham and David tagging along behind.

Hobo Ken - tattered rags for clothes, 6 day growth of beard, with the Ken Smell Module[sup]tm[/sup] for that realistic effect.

CEO Barbie, Colonel Barbie, Professor Barbie etc… - Heaven forbid she should think she was more than a plaything or secretary!

Mansonite Ken OR Barbie - shaved head, swastika carved into forehead, talking version, of course. “We love you Charlie!”

Can anyone think of more???

Cellulite Barbie, with realistic jiggling thigh action.

Sleeps on Her Stomach Barbie.

Flat-footed Barbie.

Eating Disorder Barbie.

Catgirl Barbie, with ears and a tail. Sailor fuku sold separately.
Ninja Barbie.
Hippie Barbie, with long braids, tie-dye and fringe leather outfit, and a baggie of maryjane. Microbus not included.

Leftist Barbie. Long stringy hair, John Lennon glasses, “Save the Whales” button on a “no nukes” t-shirt. Unshaven pits. Blue jeans. Unshaven legs. Birkenstocks.

You can find her with Ken at a global monetary conference, praying to get arrested so they can feel relevant.

I am fond of Trailer park Barbie, with Ken’s Corvette up on blocks. Or Dominatrix Barbie…WOOOWEEE

Bag Lady Barbie
Late-term Abortion Barbie
Casting Couch Barbie
Porn Star Barbie
Goth Barbie

LOL!!! I knew this was a good idea! :smiley: “Cellulite Barbie” with jiggling thighs… :stuck_out_tongue:

Nazi Barbie

“Barbie - She-Wolf of the S.S.”

Lesbian Bondage Barbie!!!

I did a takeoff on Barbie once, “Kajira Doll”. Here’s the url

http://www.jollyroper.com/gor/kajira.html

there’s no nudity on the page, but there is a scantily clad resin statue, so whether it’s worksafe or not is problematical. And other parts of my site are NOT work safe, so take care.

More possibilities.

In the past I suggested

Hannibal Lector Barbie

Wayyyy back I suggested

Heaven’s Gate Barbie

Divorcee Barbie - Comes with half of Ken’s stuff.

Can’t believe I didn’t think of this in the OP… :smack:

A-cup Barbie

Internet Porn Barbie w/hot fisting action (packaged w/Goatse Ken)

Um, I hate to break it to you, but all three have been done, more or less.

Pre-Op MtF Barbie
Anatomically Correct Barbie (and/or Ken)
Masturbation Barbie (comes with vibrator and copy of Playgirl)
GG Allin Ken
Tub-Girl Barbie
Goatsecx Ken

Spit-roasted Barbie aka barbie Q

Antichrist Barbie

Amputee Barbie

Zombie Barbie

Rosta Barbie with dreadlocks.

http://www.spatulaproductions.com/spatula/hellraiserken.jpg

This is truly a work of art… I love those cheesy movies!
Heroine Junkie Barbie that comes with her own stash/needle, under eye rings, and stick-thin body