Why don’t you try what most men do, fall asleep.
Maybe you’re just not too smart.
Time to play internet psycholgist! You say in your OP that once you have physically connected you want to connect on other levels and talk about more personal/revealing things in your life, your past, etc. Well if you are a human being, all of that is not neat and tidy. Revealing all the good and bad about yourself is a very scary thing and makes you feel very vulnerable. So you need a defence and the best defence is an offence. If you are the only one being vulnerable you have given her the upper hand in this situation.So you get a jab in before she has a chance to laugh at or diminish something important to you. If she is a flawed human being as well, less chance that revealing the less than perfect parts of you will result in being hurt.
You say it’s quite out of character to be so lacking in tact, but you stand out in my mind because of comments you have made in other threads and I think you over estimate how tactful you are. If you are only tactful when it benefits you and not in most situations, it is only a tool to you and not part of your character.
I agree with this part. I think you have been hurt before, possibly because once someone finds out how your brutal honestly affects them, they leave. You are looking for some validation in the form of “Hey, I can be brutally honest, and she WON’T leave.”
But, then again, you get in this opinion all of the expertise you’ve both: 1) paid for, and 2) that I have in psychology. 
I told you why I think you do this: I think you are filled with self loathing and thus any woman who is with you deserves derision. It’s also a good way to break a woman down so that she feels she’s not good enough for anyone but you.
Until you get a handle on all that, you shouldn’t date.
First, thank you for totally destroying the Frenchman good at romance stereotype. 
The OP seemed to be talking about a first encounter. You can say things three months, six months, ten years into a relationship that you wouldn’t want to say five hours into a relationship.
At this point in your life you should know that some questions are not looking for honest answers. As others have said, the obvious answer to the woman’s question is “no, you’re perfect.” I can easily do five minutes of material on large vaginas, but not in front of her and not then. This is not that hard.
There are times and methods to bring things up if they have to be brought up. “I love that dress, but I think you look really great in that other dress.”
And by the way, at least some men have sex to have sex, not to establish an emotional bond, and at least some women worry about the man they are having sex with isn’t all that interested. Insulting her in the name of truth pretty much tells her that this is true.
My 37 years of happy marriage is my cite.
Because that’s the example that’s been under discussion. Stringbean judged her vagina to be inadequate. Rather than focusing on ANYthing positive about the experience, he decided to insult her. He could have said any number of other, neutral to positive things that were also honest, but he chose that one. So what does that tell you?
You don’t need to LIE to say kind things to someone. (If you do, might I propose that you are in the wrong relationship for you.)
Dear Abby got it right. Before you open your mouth, does it pass this test:
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Uh, how is this “out of character” when you admit IN THE OP that you do this all the time?
Based on your comments in this and other threads, my money is on “you are a misogynist.”
He does it all the time that he does it, but he doesn’t do it that often because he doesn’t do it that often.
Stringbean, you might wish to consider having sex with another vegetable, a baked squash, for example, rather than a person. That way you can drill a hole as small as you like, rather than embarrass yourself and insult the person who made the mistake of having sex with you.
This again is where you are mistaking the purpose and intent of a conversation in context.
In the afterglow of sex, a person is not asking for bare factual information. Referring that person to a set of assumptions that you think should be apparent reflects a misapprehension of the situation.
Furthermore, when people are vulnerable they are also concerned about things like did I make Aussie just now by having sex with this person? Did he lie to me about his feelings about me in order to have sex? Have his feelings changed about me? Was he just going through the motions or did he genuinely enjoy it? Am u being taken advantage of or is this s genuine interaction?
The idea that “rest assured if I just put my penis in you, you’re A-OK” attitude is not the kind of assurance that the person is seeking.
The point of a conversation is often to have a positive interaction though conversation, not merely to seek the information being referred to in the conversation.
Hey, sounds wierd but lusty. Hell don’t desire to have sex if you don’t like then.:mad:
What am I, an analyst? Sort yourself out and don’t do it again is what you should be getting from this thread.