Ok, a little background for those of you who may be reading this who yet again have forgotten the importance of keepin’ up with the minutiae of my life. I am now employed at a Miller Brewery in exciting metropolitan Albeeny, Jawja. I am entering my fourth week of employment much to the amazement of Special1.
I have learned all kinds of new stuff about the brewing and production of beer. I am on the production end of things on two of the can lines. In case I have not mentioned this there are seven can lines and eight bottle lines on the production side of things. Production means making sure beer gets into all those cans and bottles, making sure all those cans and bottles get packaged in whatever of the bazillion ways they are packaged, making sure the packaged up cans and bottles get to palletizing so they can be put on to pallets and shrink wrapped, and getting ‘em all over to distribution whence they get put onto trucks or railcars so that everybody can have a never ending supply of Miller Beer products. No need to thank me. They pay me well for this.
I have learned two important facts that I feel I must share with y’all.
The first is that full 16 ounce beer cans sometimes suffer from Erectile Dysfunction. That’s the name we give to their tendency to sometimes fall over when they are coming out of the pasteurizer onto the conveyor (two lines there) and onto the combiner belt whence they zip along to packing. Since I have spent a lot of time with the pasteurizer as of late, I have had the thrill of sometimes being the one who stands on a platform and erects fallen beer cans while awaiting beer that is in the pasteurizer to do its thing and get all pasteurized so that it will contain no icky bacteria and has a longer shelf life. Thus, I do my part in the fight against beer can E.D. Now, personally, I think 16 ounce beer cans are kinda tacky. I would never purchase 16 ounce cans but enough people do to make it worthwhile, so good for them, I say. If you should be one of those people who prefer his or her beer in 16 ounce cans and live in the greater southeastern U.S., or in certain parts of Europe, Asia or Africa, you may purchase beer one day that I have had a hand in making sure it got to you. Those very cans may be cans that I personally assisted in overcoming E.D. Think about that and the horrible difficulty those cans may have had to overcome to reach you.
The second thing is that all the yeast used in the making of Miller products comes from what is referred to as “the mother yeast.” What I have been told is that this “mother yeast” is over 150 years old and has been makin’ baby yeasts all this time. “Mother yeast” lives in Milwaukee. Her babies are sent to all of Miller’s breweries. It is a special yeast that they claim gives Miller products part of their distinctive taste. Personally what I think gives all beer its distinctive taste is beer’s ability to numb your tongue after the fifth of sixth beer. What do I know though. I just produce it, I don’t brew it. That’s a whole other side of things that I have yet to see.
Oh, and, DRINK MILLER BEER! there are no DRINK MILLER BEER! subliminal messages DRINK MILLER BEER! in this OP. DRINK MILLER BEER! None at all. DRINK MILLER BEER! Really.
DRINK MILLER BEER! Trust me.
Happy Monday Y’all!