I know we’ve played this before, but I don’t think it’s been too recently.
Put together movie titles to come up with new, better movies.
For instance:
National Velvet Goldmine: After winning the big steeplechase, Elizabeth Taylor rides off in search of Jonathan Rhys Meyers.
Dinner at Eight Men Out: Marie Dressler and Jean Harlow take on the 1919 Black Sox.
Runaway Bride of Frankenstein: Richard Gere and Elsa Lanchester (with Charles Laughton as Gere’s wisecracking gay sidekick) take romantic comedy to a whole new plane.
Police Story of Us: Estranged husband and wife Jackie Chan and Michelle Pfeiffer explore the problems that are driving them apart, including a brutal kung fu melee with a gang of thugs in a Hong Kong shopping mall.
Charley Varrick and the Chocolate Factory: A gang of thieves realize they’re in hot water after unwittingly stealing the Everlasting Gobstopper from candy kingpin/mob boss Willy Wonka.
Return of the King Kong – Giant ape climbs top the top of the city of Gondor with an elf-maiden in his paw to vanquish Sauron and claim his rightful throne. Fellowship of The Ring – Everyone who watches the Mirror of Galadriel receives a call on the Palantir and dies within the week.
Let’s set the rules before this goes any farther. Are only those combinations that result from merging titles that share a beginning and ending word allowed (e.g. National Velvet Goldmine) or is one or more common words sufficient for the blend (e.g. Charlie Varrick and the Chocolate Factory)? Or will you allow completely dissimilar titles (e.g. my favorite of my own creations from the last round, Can’t Stop the Fight Club)?
Analyze This Is Spinal Tap: Billy Crystal and Robert De Niro host a documentary about a mockumentary.
Night of the Living Dead Poet’s Society: Robin Williams has more than an oppressive administration to worry about this time after all of his students follow Ethan Hawke’s lead and come back as vengeful zombies.
Ocean’s Twelve Commandments: not content with knocking off another casino, George Clooney and his gang go after the Ark of the Covenant.
The Big Green Mile: a mixture of comedy and drama! The star player in the league for which Tom Hanks officiates has a strange power…
A West Side Christmas Toy Story: Andy gets another fancy (but dangerous) new toy for Christmas; can Woody and Buzz croon their way back into Andy’s favor and protect him from the, or will Andy shoot his eye out before they can?
The photoshopping site Worth1000 holds “Mate a Movie” contests similar to this. Some of them are seriously clever…one of my favorites: Head of St8 Mile.
Vanilla Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow Never Dies: Tom Cruise is disfigured as a result of jilting obsessive stalker Cameron Diaz. Cruise then puts himself into suspended animation, in which he dreams he is the fearless daredevil ace pilot on a mission with a spunky ‘girl reporter’ and a sassy asian secret agent in a in a CGI-generated retro-1930s world, pitted against the machinations of a computer-image reconstruction of Johnathan Pryce.
Guess I bent the rules a bit. Allow me to redeem myself:
Dark City Slickers: Four middle-aged men embark on a vacation to regain their sense of purpose, and end up being stalked by mysterious figures in a dark, nightmarish metropolis from which it is impossible to escape.
Good Will Hunting of the President: Documentary detailing the shadowy conspiracy to derail the Clinton presidency by an emotionally troubled mathematics prodigy in Boston.
Andy Warhol’s Bad News Bears: Urban hustler “Coach” Buttermaker runs a contract hit service in the guise of a little league team, dispatching his “boys” to perform rubouts among the seedy underclass of New York.
The Blues Brother Bear, in which Kenai and Koda must find where the light touches the Earth, so that they can pay the Penguin of Foster Care’s taxes before her orphanage is closed.
The Good Son-In-Law: A girl goes off to college, meets Pauly Shore, and takes him home to meet her parents. Pauly then shoots some farm animals with his homemade crossbow.
Bram Stoker’s DracuLA Story: Steve Martin and Sarah Jessica Parker seek acceptance and a sense of belonging in an undead world of talking billboards and double frappe half latte half-cap drinking vampires.
Resident Evil: Apocalypse Now: After escaping the Umbrella lab accident, Milla Jovovich takes on the zombie Viet Cong as she travels through Racoon City, Cambodia to assinate renegade green beret, Marlon Brando.
Evil Dead Man Walking: In a cabin out in the woods, Sean Penn and Bruce Campbell await their fate of listening to a taped recording of Susan Sarandon drone on and on about zombies, nuns, Jesus, demons and chainsaw attachments.
It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World According to Garp: The bastard son of a author/nurse, a woman without a tongue, and a transgendered football player race to find a treasure buried beneath palm trees in the shape of the letters T S. Along the way, they run into various zany obstacles such as cars with their lights and engines turned off and the dreaded UnderToad.
