I wouldn’t do this. I wouldn’t look away or close my eyes or anything. I wouldn’t make a fuss over him but I would just quietly go about my business. Then I would sit down right there. I would read, play on the computer or whatever. I would talk and hum so that the cat could hear me. I would also start sleeping in that room (or I would relocate him to my bedroom, whichever).
The thing is, right now, he’s not really getting to know you as his new family. You come in, and you’re nice enough, but then you leave.
He should have a nice hideyspot, like on the cat tree, as suggested, and maybe a kennel or back in the closet where he can hide and lurk. But seeing you there with him, every day, just hanging out and talking to the dog, and living your lives, that’s what’s going to get him accustomed to being around you.
Also, be sure to feed the dog and give him treats where the new cat can see it. Nothing like a little jealousy to make a pet suddenly be more affectionate. Use that!
I’ve had lots of cats over the years & some are just plain quirky. I have a feral, now 8 that was jumpy, hissy, & distrustful for several years before she finally warmed up.
It doesn’t sound like there is a bed in the room, so just make sure he has lots of places to hide and feel secure. Your house sounds like the perfect place for him and I think he’ll come around in time.
Also have you tried catnip? Mellows out one of my nervous kitties.
Sounds like a traumatized little kitty, glad you are going to let him stay around. Too many trips back to the shelter won’t help him at all, especially if he were to be deemed unadoptable.
If kitty is consistently using the litter box and not leaving little kitty puddles and landmines all over the floor, you are probably about 80% of the way with him.
I’ll echo what others have said, give him time and space. It doesn’t sound like he is hiding in corners all day if he is coming out to explore and play when you aren’t around, I think he just isn’t sure about his new humans.
My suggestion, don’t leave him alone in there, but don’t force companionship. Go in the room regularly spend a lot of time in there: take a nap, watch TV, or post to the Straight Dope. Leave some dirty clothes in there to let him get the scent. Let him just get used to you being around. He’ll come out and explore you on his terms.
Consider moving his food and water out of the room, maybe a few feet or so at a time, towards where you would like to feed him everyday, maybe that will help him understand he has run of the whole house, not just a little section of it.
He will come around, but he is a cat. They can be very persnickety about their people.
Actually, the dog doesn’t even know the cat is here.
The dog never goes upstairs, and the cat never comes down.
The few times the cat did come down by accident, the dog never even woke up.
The dog is pretty oblivious to what goes on around him. The squirrels will come to within inches of him. Even when he could see and hear well, he just minded his own business.
There’s no bed in the cat’s room, but still boxes that need to be unpacked, and empty ones he can hide in. He just goes from corner to corner.
He likes his little catnip mice.
You’ll are giving me a little hope we can get him to come out.
Ohhhhh you know, that might be a contributing factor. The cat can smell the dog but doesn’t really know the dog. He doesn’t know that you’re all part of the family.
This just makes me think more that you all need to hang out together regularly. I would certainly move the cat into the main bedroom.
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I know there are a few episodes of My Cat From Hell that deal with coaxing ‘fraidy cats’ into being ‘part of the family’.
FWIW, Tonka never hides (in the manner discussed in the OP), but he’s not especially social. He likes pets, but his purrs are inaudible. He doesn’t like to be held, but he’ll lay on the ottoman next to ‘mom’s’ feet, or on the couch next to me. He’d been in a shelter for a very long time, lost part of his tail at some point in his life, and was about 8 years old when we adopted him. Today he’s a happy cat – but he still doesn’t like to be held.
ETA: Tonka’s behaviour when we first got him was to sit quietly and sleep a lot. He basically tolerated us. After a couple of months he would move around more, and accept attention and no longer seemed to be afraid.
I think I did wrong by putting him in the bedroom to start with. It’s not totally isolated as it’s next to the bathroom and we have to walk by it multiple times a day, but I think having him closer to us would have helped.
I’ve been moving his food and water out of the bedroom, even though the shelter told me not too. It’s in hall now.
It would be nice if I could find a way to get him downstairs, but I think any attempt to bring him down would upset him too much.
Actually, the slow-blink - closing and then opening your eyes slowly and lazily while looking at the cat - is reassuring to kitty. It tells him, “I trust you enough to close my eyes in your presence, won’t you trust me too?” You can combine the slow blink with a slow-turn-away of the head as well. The cat behaviorist at the shelter I volunteer at advises this, and it really does calm some of the kitties down - we just have to make sure we’re not looming in the door of the kennel, blocking any escape route. The most skittish ones get the slow blink/head turn a few times, accompanied by talking in a soft voice and a treat. (The less skittish ones get to come out and play or be petted and brushed.) Are you bribing your kitty with treats?
I have a cat that it took 2 years for it to get social and able to be petted and another one that barely tolerates anything else’s presence both were rescue siblings (a relative found them in a roach trap out side his work warehouse ) but unless there really small kittens it will take at least a year for them to get social and a bit longer for them to get used to other cats…
I’ve been trying this with one of the two feral cats we adopted recently (the skittish one of the pair) and he just stares at me like I’m an idiot.
On the bright side, over the past three months he’s gone from (literally) hiding under the couch for days at a time to being fairly sociable, especially at feeding time. Rubs against ankles, purrs, even (somewhat grudgingly) submits to being petted and brushed on occasion. Still looks at me like I’m insane if I slowly blink at him, though.
Yeahhh. I don’t know. I have mixed feelings about humans trying to imitate animal behavior. It depends on the animal being properly socialized by others of its kind, as an infant, and that’s not something you can always rely on with a stray (and all of our own cats have been strays who just gradually transition indoors.) It also relies on the humans doing it correctly enough that the cat sees it as a human acting like a cat, and not a human acting like a weirdo.
I’ve usually had best results with cats when I just hang out with the cats and let them set the pace.
Bribery now - I’m a big fan of bribery. Also cat nip.
I have to back up **Hey Hey Paula **on what she recommended. We do that at our shelter, too, and it does reassure quite a few cats. The ones that stare back don’t trust you yet. At the very least, don’t look at them continuously in the eyes, switch your gaze away every few seconds. In cat behavior, both of you staring directly at each other for a prolonged period is considered confrontational.
