Some of my most beloved relatives are extremely anti-abortion. They are single issue voters. Here’s the thing: if one truly believes that an abortion is murder, that stance makes sense. It’s hard to find a metric that can overshadow 700,000 deaths in a year.*
Obviously, they are not thrilled with Trump. However, in order to lock in the Christian Right vote, he has promised to nominate the correct people to the Supreme Court. There’s no way in hell Clinton will nominate an anti-abortion justice. Ergo, these relatives will vote for Trump.
They have admitted that this is probably against their own self-interest. However they believe stopping abortion is more important than their own well-being.
*From wikipedia, for 2012 in the U.S., not all states reporting.
I’ve personally encountered only one overt Trump supporter. That was on a bus here in Honolulu, this flaky lady who said she supported Trump because “women should not be president.”
Not wanting to hang out with someone in my spare time ≠ running into someone and being friendly
I work with a couple of Trump supporters and we get along quite well. I chit-chat with them just fine in the breakroom, and I’ve even gone on long road trips with them without wanting to kill them.
But would I be friends with them? Like, kick off my shoes, let down my afro, and be myself 100% around them? No. Because they routinely say things that work my nerves. Like one coworker sincerely believes that Obama is a Muslim from Kenya. Another one is staunchly anti-vax and thinks racism isn’t a thing anymore. And reminds me that as a black woman, I’ve got it much easier than he does. I know these things because they are both vocal with these opinions, even though I try to steer clear of these topics when I’m around them. We can talk about trivial things, like the weather or what happened on “Fear of the Walking Dead”. I’ll give them a lift home if they need it, and offer half of my lunch if they’re without. But if I can’t talk about the kind of topics that matter most to me without getting angry, I’m not calling you my friend, sorry. I don’t think this makes me close-minded. It just means I don’t call just anyone my friend. I reserve that title for people I truly enjoy being around.
Based on their rhetoric, who do you think is more likely to send military tanks into predominately Hispanic neighborhoods? Trump or Clinton? Based on their rhetoric, who do you think is more likely to order the deportation of all Middle Eastern and Middle Eastern-adjacent nationals, and the internment of American citizens of Middle Eastern and Middle Eastern-adjacent descent? Trump or Clinton?
I don’t think tanks are going to mow down my neighbors any time soon. But I wouldn’t be surprised if someone’s neighbors were mowed down under a Trump presidency. I would be surprised if this happened under Clinton, just because she has never said anything indicating that she would be in favor of anything like this. But Trump has demonstrated that he will say anything as long as the crowd cheers loud enough. If he’ll say craziness, he’ll do craziness.
You say that as a joke, but a friend of mine left the state (NC, with the lovely HB2 that Trump supports) because she had run into more than one of Those People and felt that her life was in significant danger on more than one occasion for things like using the correct public bathroom or just existing in general.
When I posted the OP, the question about being friends with a Trump supporter was just theoretical to me.
But yesterday it became real. I have a coworker that I’m quite close to. We walk home almost every afternoon and trade texts throughout the day. I’ve been to her house a couple of times, and we’ve done fun things together outside of work. I’ve always sensed that she’s more socially conservative than me since she’s religious, so I tend to keep our conversations away from topics that might divide us (police brutality is one). But in doing so, unintentionally, I’ve managed to keep myself in the dark with regard to her politics (or in her case, a-politics).
Yesterday while we were walking home, we got to talking about the debates and the election. She told me she didn’t know who she was going to vote for, since both of the candidates are “even”, as far as their strengths and weaknesses, in her estimation.
WTF.
I gingerly asked her if she watches the news any, and she admitted she doesn’t. She doesn’t follow politics–she prefers watching reality TV shows and doing crossword puzzles.
On one hand, I’m relieved that she’s not staunchly in Trump’s camp. But on the other hand, I’m alarmed that she would allow herself to be so blasé about the world around her. I told her that I thought Trump was a dangerous person with abhorrent views. But only to be polite, I kind of lied and said I understood why people didn’t want Hillary. Before steering us to a different subject, I said, “There’s nothing wrong with not voting for either candidate, you know.”
I’m going to remain friends with her. But I’m not going to ask her who she’s voting for because I don’t want the truth to negatively affect our relationship.
That part at the end is where I have a problem. Yes, if they aren’t actual horrible people, talk to them and try to convince them.
But it’s still falling back to treating Donald Trump as just some Republican. He’s not. He transcends the difference. To support him after knowing what he says, you have to be okay with his bigotry and other awfulness. That’s just (an arguably lesser version of) the same thing.
I have no problem whatsoever being friends with a Republican. I do have problems being friends with a Trump supporter. That doesn’t mean I won’t interact with them. But they’ve told me something horrible that lurks within them, and I really should listen, and not let my guard down. If I become friends with them, human nature means that I will find excuses for their beliefs.
And I think that’s actually the reason that, despite 50-odd years of knowing stuff is wrong, we still have so many people who don’t get it. Because people become friends with them and excuse them. And even pick up some of their beliefs.
The vast majority of people are going to be nice to you. But that doesn’t make them friend-worthy. A friend needs, at the very least, to be a good person–someone who cares about other people at least as much as they care about themselves.
If they rub off on you, it needs to make you a better person. (And, no, that’s not a zero sum game. You make them better, too.)
How so? How does defending a position make it a factor? I have a number of seriously liberal friends and we argue a political blue streak. And then we have a drink and move on. And we’ve known each other since the 2nd grade which represents 50 years of friendship.
It’s true that he’s not just some Republican, but not everyone is up on politics or the news in general. I’m sure there are other people like monstro’s friend who prefer watching reality TV and doing crossword puzzles. They know who the candidates are, and might know a few things that have been going on in the election and some of the stuff said but not everything that has been going on.
I’m sure the die-hard supporters know everything he’s said and are okay with his bigotry and awfulness and like it about him. But I’d bet that also a significant number aren’t really aware because they haven’t kept up with things, or are vaguely aware but are uncomfortable about it and just try not to think about such things. Or they think some of his ideas sound somewhat good but don’t think about the implications.
I generally try to think the best of my friends, so if I found out one of them was a Trump supporter, I wouldn’t automatically jump to the conclusion that they are actually a terrible person and I hadn’t realized it.
I’m in the UK but we’re not stranger to Trump and people here (often the alt right) still admire him from afar.
I’ve learned to greatly adjust my tolerance over recent years. Not so long ago, I probably would’ve questioned friendships if someone was in support of the Conservative Party (maybe), or definitely UKIP or Brexit. Had I continued with that intolerance I’d have “unfriended” a lot of people and hated more than half the country!
By necessity and a lot of self reflection I’ve become a lot more tolerant of the political views of people in general but especially my friends, one of whom is outwardly xenophobic (refuses to go on holiday with the others because ‘other countries are full of foreigners’!) along with being both a Conservative and Brexit voter but as conflicting as it seems, a genuine decent guy in every other way. I actually put it down to him having a generally rebellious and contrarian nature rather than being actively hateful.
It’s definitely troubling when you get to say “my friends are good people apart from the way I hate everything about their political views and worry that they might be a bit racist”! but I don’t like to give up on people easily. I’d rather just not talk about politics with them if possible as I’m not the world’s greatest at debate (that’s something I’d like to learn from this forum, without disturbing it in the process)
Look at it this way. You can find yourself a nice, liberal Democrat now.
I always talk politics early on in a relationship, so that I can find out exactly where they are. It wouldn’t be the sole deciding factor, but a Trump voter would be a Huuge black mark against her for me, a staunch conservative less so but still an issue. Not that it’s much of a problem; if I were looking, I tend to do so in places and with people that favor the more liberal point of view anyway.
Yes, I know a few Trump supporters IRL and more online.
My dad has always been a very conservative Republicans and listened to a lot of Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin when driving, so he’d presumably support Trump were he eligible.
One of my best friends since middle school is also a Republican who left high school early to attend community college while working at an investment firm and he’s quite enthusiastic about Trump.
I talk regularly with one guy at my university who is leaning towards Trump although it’s more because he hates Clinton and doesn’t seem interested in voting. Beyond that, I’m acquaintances with a couple of Republicans I know from middle and/or high school and there are several more I know from the Internet.
My mother will likely vote for Trump because of her hatred of HRC. During the primaries she wanted Cruz.
I’m going to be in the States staying at her place and we’ve already agreed to completely ban politics as a subject of conversation.
And because this is the Dope, one cannot sit by without pointing out that Bashar Hafez al-Assad is the son of Hafez al-Assad who seized power in a coup and ruled Syria for 30 years. Bashar Hafez al-Assad had “won” two elections in the upper 90 percentages. It does help when it’s forbidden for anyone to run against you.
I could never be friends with someone who disagreed with me over politics. Even those stupid little local propositions of which color to paint the fire hydrants. Anyone who could is being intellectually dishonest with themselves.
This thread is a perfect demonstration of why this country’s political atmosphere is such a toxic shitshow. “I can’t be friends with someone who disagrees with me.”
If you go through life assuming that the only reason someone could have a different opinion on something is that they’re either stupid or evil, then you get what we have now.
