I’m trying to find a copy of Franklin’s essay on the advantages of older women, and I’m having no luck online.
Hellllllp!!
With the aid of my trusty Bartlett’s, I’ve discovered the title, Reasons for Preferring an Elderly Mistress, but I didn’t have any luck plugging that into a search.
Bartlett only supplies one quote from it: " Eighth and lastly, They are so grateful!"
Hope this is some help.
A title is more than I had before. Thanks, aseymayo. I’ll keep on searching.
Somebody’s got to have this cached or bookmarked somewhere. Really.
Afriend of mine said about women over 40: “They don’t yell, they don’t tell and they’re grateful as hell”
My other friend replied “yeah, and they still can’t give it away!”
Andros, I have that letter in a book here. If you cannot find it online I’ll scan it for you.
Advice to a young man on the choice of a mistress, dated philadelphia june 25, 1745
Though it would involve leaving the computer and heading to a library, the list of reasons is included in one of volumes of the Book of Lists, by Wallace et al. Unfortunately, I don’t have my copies at hand.
-
Because they have more Knowledge of the world, and their Minds are better stored with Observations;
their Conversation is more improving, and more lastingly agreeable. -
Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men,
they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of utility. They learn to do a thousand Services,
small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue
amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman. -
Because there is no hazard of children, which irregularly procured may be attended with much
inconvenience. -
Because through more Experience they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent
Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your reputation; and with regard to
theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclined to excuse an old
Woman, who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his manners by her good Councils, and prevent his
ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes. -
Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first
in the highest Part. The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the
lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever; so that covering all above with a Basket, and reggarding
only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old one from a young one. And as in
the Dark all Cats are gray, the Pleasure of Corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal and
frequently superior; every Knack being by Practice capable of improvement. -
Because the sin is less. The Debouching of a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her Life unhappy.
-
Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter
Reflections; none of which can attend making an old Woman happy.
8th & lastly. They are so grateful!!!"
found at:http://members.aol.com/oddwonder/franklin.htm
sailor, it WAS a letter! Thanks you, I’d forgotten that. I’ll see if I can dig it up–there’s no reason yet for you to scan it for me, although I appreciate the offer. ('Course, if you’re really bored . . . ;))
DRS, actually, I work in a library. Unfortunately, we don’t carry the ol Book of Lists. Do you remember which volume?
Don’t carry The Book of Lists indeed. Boy, what kind of Lie-berry you work in?
Found it, right before I got around to refreshing and saw writefetus’ post.
Thanks sailor!
Thanks even more, writefetus!
::marking down Write and Sailor on the “people I owe beer to” list::
[butthead]
Uhhh . . . don’t make me kick your ass.
[/butthead]
Actually, it’s a “special” library. We cater to hardcore scientist types. We ain’t got time to waste on that smut!