This year is actually harder than I thought it would be, so let’s start with the ones I could immediately cross off my list:
“The Monster” - never did much for me.
“Happy” - You know, I was a big fan of Aloe Black’s “I’m the Man” for about 2 weeks until “Happy” came to dominate the radio, then I realized that both songs were pretty empty emotional lifts. When dislike for one song causes you to dislike a previously-enjoyed song… that’s saying something. Not since “Eye of the Tiger” has a song topped the charts that has sounded so contrived. Of all the songs on this list, this is the one that will automatically make me reach for the radio dial.
“All of Me” - Other than the '70s, when I grew up immersed in this stuff, I’ve never been a big fan of the “whiny man” genre.
“Fancy” - Sounds a lot like “Hollaback Girl” and since the world already has one Christina Aguilara, we don’t need another, right? On the other hand, I completely cracked my family up when, hearing this on the radio, I referred to Izzy Azalea as “Lizard Iguana”. You probably had to be there.
“Rude” - guy sounds like too much of a self-immersed 20-something. Ugh. Guy, it’s not that he doesn’t want his daughter to get married, he just doesn’t want her marrying a loser like you. Oh, wait, was that rude? Well, get the fuck over it.
“Blank Space” - not much to say about this one, a bit too recent to impress me one way or another.
Now for the ones I like…
“Shake it Off” - Possibly the weakest of the 4 songs that I want to vote for, but it’s a very enjoyable tune. People talk about Taylor going all pop this year and I guess I’m just a confused old man as I thought she was always pop… country-tinged pop, but pop nonetheless.
“All About that Bass” - Fortunately, I don’t listen to top-40 radio so often that sheer repetitiveness makes me dislike a song, so this one is still fun (“Happy” is the exception as you could NOT escape that contrived POS to save your life). And, as one who likes a little bit of booty, I endorse the message and don’t really give a flying F about the fact that she was mean to all those poor thin girls.
“Dark Horse” - It will be hard casting no less than my third vote for KP in these yearly charts (seriously, how the hell did that happen?), but I really, really like this song.
“Timber” - This one gets my vote as it is easily my most played song of the year - a completely goofy, idiotic country-rap song that in no way should work… except that it does. And Kesha really carries this one… I saw Pitbull do the song without her on one of last years “New Years Countdown” shows and, OMG, it could have been the worst professional performance I’ve ever seen. Everything about it screamed “no talent douche” and while the first half of that judgment is probably wrong, I’ve seen nothing of the man that says the “douchy” part is incorrect.