In a thread earlier today I mentioned my favourite legal movie Sidney Lumet’s The Verdict starring Paul Newman (how did Ben Kingsley beat him for the Oscar?) as broken down lawyer Frank Galvin.
In one scene he is telling a joke in a bar and off the top of my head it is the only joke told by a character that I ever laughed at:
Frank Galvin: So Pat says, he says, "They got this new bar… and you go inside and for half a buck you get a beer, a free lunch and they take you in the back room - they get you laid… Mike says, “Now wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Do you mean to say there’s a new bar and you go inside and for a half a buck they give you a beer, a free lunch and they take you in the back room and they get you laid?” Pat says, “That’s right.” “Have you ever been in the bar?” And he says, “No, but me sister has.”
Two fellas are pissing off a bridge, one fella from California and the other from Arkansas. Boy from California says, “This water sure is cold!” Boy from Arkansas says “Yeah, and deep, too!”
I have to mention “the penguin joke” in A Prairie Home Companion not so much as a great joke as such but at the audacity of Keillor and Altman for including it since it’s been a running gag on the radio show for years or longer. It’s not even funny, but that’s the point.
Tarantino has a cameo in Desperado where he tells a joke about a guy walking into a bar. I forget the exact joke–maybe the one about pissing all over the bar?
Something like, he bet the bartender he could piss into a glass from across the room, but instead pissed all over the bar. The barender wins the bet, but he had bet another guy that he could piss all over the bar and the bartender would be happy about it.
In The Last Boy Scout, the hand puppet told the joke. I wish I could remember the name of the bad guy forcing Bruce Willis to play the hand puppet for the little girl, at gunpoint, but let’s call him X.
“Why did X cross the road?
'Cause he got his dick stuck in the chicken.”
Now, I was embarrassed to be laughing at that in front of my kids, but they turned around and said, “Mom, haven’t you heard that one before?” Kids.
Mia: Vincent, do you still want to hear my Fox Force Five joke?
Vincent: Sure, but I think I’m still a little too petrified to laugh.
Mia: No, you wont laugh, 'cus it’s not funny. But if you still wanna hear it, I’ll tell it.
Vincent: I can’t wait.
Mia: Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him… and says, Catch up.
The joke Minnie Driver tells in the bar in Good Will Hunting is funny, if a bit gross. Rather than retell the whole thing here, I’ll just refresh memories with the punch line: Give us a kiss!
The rabbit has “no problems” with it- in other words, the rabbit doesn’t mind having shit all over his fur. Or another- shit doesn’t stick to his fur, so why not use him as TP.
(Maybe you could explain to me the OP’s joke- I’m missing somethong here.)
In addition to the “Penguin Joke,” the Prairie Home Companion Movie has Lefty and Dusty ( John C. Riley and Woody Harrelson) doing the bad jokes song for five or eight minutes – My favorite is the elephant and the naked man bit where the elephant says, “That’s cute , but how do you breath through it?"