Okay, now I’m curious - how big/tall are the women who are just shrugging this off and expecting the woman to “control it”?
Gun control thread is two rows over.
Huh?
Not sure why size has anything to do with it. Assuming nothing has gotten physical (which in my experience, has been the majority of situations), it’s mostly a matter of her response (or lack thereof). Male or female, your partner won’t always be around, so you have to be able to handle yourself.
If it’s a situation where size does come into play, because someone is trying to physically impose, then yes, there is a bigger problem that probably needs some interference.
What’s with all the dopers that seem to think that conflicts in bars inevitably end up in a physical brawl? I’ve been to types of many different bars with many different atmospheres with many types of people many times. I can count the number of actual bar fights I’ve witnessed on one hand.
Which is lucky, because the other hand was lopped off by a broken bottle? 
What Trom failed to mention is he cuts a notch in his hand for every ass he’s kicked in a bar.
Well
I can’t say for the man hitting on the woman scenario
But back in my party days I walked away from my bf at the bar and when I came back some woman was flirting with him. He was a bit of a flirt himself and usually I didn’t pay him any mind but this woman was just a little too aggressive for me to sit back.
So I walked over and put an arm around each of them, turned to him and said, ‘She’s really cute hon but I thought we agreed on a blond tonight’.
His jaw hit the floor and she started sputtering and stammering and told us we were sick. I told her that I know she saw us walk in together so what did she expect?
Uh, I won’t.
They smash *sometimes.
*
Most times they don’t.
Sara, you are 100% correct, once men get involved it can quickly escalate into a dangerous situation. Between a man and a woman it seldom goes beyond a couple of words.
Walking back from the rest room, see some drunk talking to the GF. Walk up beside her, say “Hi honey, who’s your new friend?” and take the lead from there.
Assuming she’s already told the guy to piss off, I’d just hang in next to her and let her deal with it and again, take the cues from whether she wants me to do any more.
Jumping in like a neanderthal aint smart on a number of different levels.
That is an absolute ripper.
:D:D:D:D
If the woman is much smaller, she is stuck trying to placate the guy to keep it from getting physical. It’s a lot riskier for a five-foot woman to piss off a six-foot man than it is for a 5’9" woman to piss off the six-foot man. Even if the man doesn’t get violent, it’s a lot easier for the man to restrain (or surround!) a small woman than a large one.
Where do you go that men get physical with women who shoot them down? What do they do? Beat them up? Slap them? A woman says she’s got a boyfriend and gets punched?
Have we all forgotten that this is (supposedly) a lit public area with witnesses around - not a dark back alley with just the woman and the aggressor?
Why should there be any restraint? It feels like the original question was aimed at receiving a clever or witty response/tactic instead of a violent or “I’ll show you” egotistical one.
Did I mistake that intent?
I stand by my answer, the best boyfriend reaction is no reaction because he doesn’t need to have one.
You know who gave him that freedom to not act? ; his trustworthy and dependable girlfriend whom he loves that extra bit more because she’s an actual mature woman with a head on her
shoulders and not just some overgrown high school girl who probably did put herself in a bad position and now can’t find a way out of it without some intervention on behalf of her unsuspecting boyfriend.
Most of my female friends are between 5 - 5’3" in height, and have never had a problem with getting men to back off. The vast majority of cases are handled with a combination of verbal and body language, where lack of interest tends to stop the situation. In fact, most ladies I know, hang out in groups, so there are even more ways to avoid situations…the guys are usually pretty cheesy and/or looking for someone easy, so they don’t waste too much time trying.
In most other cases, physical contact is usually a form of passive groping (touching someones behind in a crowded area, such as a club), or a tug on the arm to get attention (which has less to do with size). If a guy is trying to use size to physically restrain someone, though, I still think that’s a matter more serious and very different than what’s been described in the OP.
In other words, I think you’d have to describe the scenario you’re talking about. But otherwise, yeah, I guess if someone has the specific intention of trying to physically impose on someone, they’ll choose the path of least resistance.
You’re assuming the other patrons care. A whole party full of people (including members of my family) let a drunk guy twice my age follow me around and back me into corners. I certainly don’t expect a bar full of drunks to give a shit. I do expect my boyfriend to care whether I feel safe and comfortable.
I don’t even know how to respond to this. I deserve to be loved less because some guy found me attractive and kept backing me into corners and following me around a party? I didn’t “put myself in a bad position” - I was taken to a party by people I considered family.
Then try cowering away whimpering “Do what you want to the girl as long as you leave me alone”.
Regards,
Shodan
I don’t think this thread would exist if lack of interest were stopping the situation - I’m going on the assumption that the guy isn’t seeing/taking rejection.
Come back and take my shot because it’s obviously my turn since she shot while I was in the restroom. Take my sweet time lining up the shot, walking from position to position around the table looking for a better shot. Gauge her reaction to the guy. If she’s doing fine and not showing signs of distress, then don’t get involved. Take my shot, stand around waiting. If she takes a long time maybe wander over and remind her that it’s her shot.
If she’s slightly distressed, “Could you hand me the bridge please?” or maybe take my phone out and call her, giving her an out. Some sort of unobtrusive manner of giving her a reason to step away.
If she’s making eye contact and showing me some rolleyes then “Hey bitch, take your damn shot, we pay for this table by the hour you know.” This puts her back in her comfort zone with me because we do this kind of thing all the time. Odds are her response would be something like “STFU you ass, I’ll shoot when I’m ready” then she’ll come take her shot and we’ll be able to disengage from the outsider by resuming our game.
If she looks actually distressed then pick up a drink from the bar and bring it to her saying something like “Sorry it took so long honey, apparently they outsourced the orders for White Russians to actual Russia.” Stick around and make small talk about how crowded the place is tonight, how the pool game is going, what time we need to leave, etc.
Enjoy,
Steven