The rest is along the same lines, but the opening is golden.
It’s my new catchprase, suitable for those most special moments. Say it with me: “I have makes head age recently year.”
Yes, I do.
My guess: “After using your product, I wish to report an undesirable side-effect: my head (hair?) looks like it has aged a year.”
From the rest of the letter, is this close?
Makes. Head. Age. Recently. Year.
Okay, who votes for this to become a new Doper meme?
We’re a property management company. The writer was upset to find himself in default with regard to his strata fees, and insisted not only that he had sent us cheques, but that he had been in regular communication with our office.
Maybe it’s a bad idea to buy condo somewhere unless you speak one of the official languages enough to get by, or have someone you can depend on to translate your minutes and correspondence. Maybe it’s just me.
I think to qualify, you have to eat some mushrooms and just out with it spontaneously or something – no fair submitting other people’s work. 
Story head makes hurt recently today.
Order wrong the typed words babelfish in into fuck what who the?
All your base are belong to us.
I bet the company has a fish fillet of guilty conscience for making his head age recently year.
What part of Homer’s odyssey became a meme? A found Doper memory, yes, but I didn’t think it was a meme.
There are a few parts that still get coy references from time to time, but “shoehorn butterhorse” returns three pages of search results.
When drunken Jedi speak foreign languages after Rosetta stone recently sold.
Actually it sounds like it was written by someone using a voice recognition typing software. I used one once thinking I could get some things typed up faster, but the results were hilarious and totally useless.
Screw that. I’d say it’s chances of becoming a username increase directly with the number of replies to this thread.
“Hold the newsreaders nose squarely waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers.”
My hovercraft is full of eels!
what?
That’s weird. My needlecraft is full of wheels.
My nipples explode with delight!