Well, mouthbreather had an interesting one in the Courtesy Flush thread:
negotiate the release of some brown hostages.
(and I still can’t get the ‘link to a specific post’ to work, even after reading the technical issues FAQ)
We always just bawl out
“I’m goin’ to the bog”
But that’s not really a euphemism.
Pinch a loaf.
Launch a sea pickle.
I swear, I had an ex who would say he was going in to “squat in the sandbox and snap one off”.
Some here just came in with:
Beaming down a Shatner
and
Birthing Earth
Personally, since this is one of the rare times to read when you have young children I “visit the library.”
#1 - spending some pennies
That’s fairly common here in Australia too. I posted it to a similar thread last year, and one of the American Dopers (sorry, forgot which one) responded with “shake hands with the Governor”, which I also liked. IIRC, it is a southern thing.
“Strain th’ main vein” is used a bit here too.
It is also customary when returning from the gents’ room to a mixed gender table at a bar or restaurant to say very seriously to another bloke, and so the women can hear it, “Careful if you go out there mate. That trough is bloody cold today.” The other guy will know the joke, and nod solemnly, “Right. Ta for that. I’ll watch out.”
There was a short-lived sitcom called “Sibs” back in the early 90s in which Margaret Colin played a really brassy broad. In one episode Dan Castellaneta (Homer Simpson) took her out on a date to impress his friends with her looks, and kept trying (unsuccessfully) to get her to be polite instead of herself, annoying her in the process. At one point she excuses herself from the dinner table to “go to the bathroom,” and Dan says proddingly, “What was that?” to which she snarkily replies, "Oh, excuse me, I mean I have to go powder my ass."
I loved that line.
Amongst my friends:
- “Drop a brogan” (Although could be grogan)
- “Hang a turkey”
Charming, aren’t we?
“Gotta leave a shit”
“Giving birth to a cop.”
“Gotta go drain the radiator.”
At work, I say I’m going to my office. The office with one seat, no window, no view and a closed door policy.
Other places…gotta drop one in the thunder mug.
Ethilrist said:
You mentioned that you didn’t understand that one. Actually it has been used as an exit line for about a hundred years or so – when you want to leave for any reason. It is not just for the bathroom. But I have no idea of its origin. I’ve also heard dog used instead of horse.
I can’t believe I am actually reading and posting to this thread.
#1 System flush
#2 Core dump
My usual exit line is “I gotta race like a pisshorse.”
Not quite what the OP was asking for, but just outside of Vancouver I once read on a bathroom wall:
Here I sit,
Asshole a hurtin’.
I just gave birth
to another Albertan
Since I am an Albertan, I didn’t quite laugh but I did like the poem and remembered it for the past 6 years… this has been the first time I’ve repeated it.
Going to see a man about a dog is a 1920’s/prohibition term for going to buy illegal whiskey/moonshine from a still.