My gentleman friend insists on calling it “making love”, which I personally find ridiculous. I would much rather just fuck, have sex, or go for a roll in the hay.
To my mind, though, the best euphemisms invovle the good old gerund phrase, particularly if there is absolutely no sexual connotation in ordinary usage. F’rinstance:
Playing the piano
Visiting the city
Checking each other for ticks - that is fabulous and I WILL use it!
Washing up the dishes
Counting the spare change
Hiking the nature trails
Having tea
(Of course, knowledge of this makes all my gerund phrases suspect, and amongst those in the know, causes eyebrows to be raised.)
Last year I was in a single dorm next to another single dorm occupied by a friend of mine. One night she and her “boyfriend” came home really late and really drunk. At some point during the night her ass of a boyfriend wet the bed. The next day she informed me of this and said she was gonna force him to change and clean the bedding.
Late that night I hear the all-too-familiar bump-bump-squeek-squeek through the wall. I call their room to inform them that the whole hall can hear them, and her half-assed excuse was that they were “changing the sheets.” :rolleyes: