Yes I remember that bit very well. Not child abuse. Also obviously exaggerated for comedic purposes.
Maria Bamford, although younger folk might find her more perplexing than funny.
Another vote for Brian Regan, I didn’t even notice he worked clean.
Same goes for the previously mentioned late great John Pinette.
Pre-screened (watch show or vid first just to double-check) Tim and Eric should be ok.
I will personally bet you 5 dollars, Wesley Clark, that your kids will give the nod to The Brak Show.
Another vote for Maria.
I don’t know where you’d find it but I remember old Dana Carvey and Howie Mandel stand-up routines to be very PG.
Larry Miller used to do a fairly clean act, but a some of his classic routines will go over the heads of little ones. Five Levels of Drinking might be too advanced, but The Secret of Skiing could be okay.
Not a stand-up comedienne, but she is on tour and is family friendly: Carol Burnett.
I came in to say Gaffigan, who is hilarious without being dirty. But Izzard is one of the funniest comedians I’ve ever seen. He doesn’t talk about sex much (he talks about losing his virginity in his 20’s but it’s not nasty/dirty) and he does talk about being a transvestite. (For some that’s a deal breaker.)* But he also does hilarious wordplay, history jokes, Star Wars bits.
He doesn’t really work ‘blue’ though the occasional cussword comes in.
*Not me, he’s probably my favorite comedian.
I think much of that was imaginary, judging by To Russell, My Brother, Whom I Slept With. In which he talks about his dad’s belt ripping off chunks of flesh but never actually being used.
Thirded, especially for her soft spot with pugs.
I’ve been through most of Netflix’s stand up comedy section, and they have a fair bit that would be considered family friendly. Available now in the US:
Demetri Martin: Live (*At the Time)
Gary Gulman: In This Economy
Ben Bailey: Road Rage
Don Friesen: Ask Your Mom
Tom Papa: Live in New York City
Stephen Fry: More Fool Me
There may be a few instances of swearing or sex-related jokes, but on the whole, I’d say these shows are kid-friendly (depending on age, of course).
In his book “Dad Is Fat,” Jim Gaffigan bemoans the fact that he’s widely labelled as a “family” comic. He notes that “family restaurants” always have lousy food, that “family movies” usually stink, that “family resorts” are usually a nightmare, and wishes there was a better term than “family” comedian for a guy who doesn’t curse much or tell dirty jokes.