No, Bart asked Homer how he did that-Homer said he was a hemophiliac, then when Tom stopped, Homer kicked him in the back.
Bart is reading his Junior Camper’s Guide to Knife Safety “Don’t Do What Donny Don’t Does” when Homer walks in:
Homer: “Well, if it isn’t the captain of the weiner patrol, boning up on his nerd lessons.”
Marge: “Homer!”
Homer: “Sorry, Marge… Egghead loves his bookie-wook!”
also:
Homer: “You signed my name? I feel so violated!”
Marge: “You’ve signed my name lots of times!”
Homer: “But this isn’t like a loan application or a will. You signed away my dignity!”
In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
and the advice every father needs to give his son…
When things get to hard, of course you quit, now let’s go inside and watch TV.
It’s gonna take a lot of fireworks to clean this mess up!
“Well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.”
- I live my life by this one.
You put the beer in the coconut and drink it all up
You put the beer in the coconut and throw the can away
FLANDERS: HO-MER!
And then you throw the can away
F: I said HO-MER!
You throw the can away
A lot of my favourites have been used already but here’s one that hasn’t (don’t know if I’ve got it exactly right):
In the Rear Window/ Flanders murder mystery episode
Homer: Oh then everything’s wrapped up in a NEAT LITTLE PACKAGE! (No, really I mean it. Sorry if I sounded sarcastic).
this is from memory - so probably a bit wonky:
Bart: Had, you’re watching PBS!!!
Homer: No one was more suprised than me son, but I have found this delighful British sit-com about a close knit fun loving family of football hooligans. When they’re not having a go with the birds - they’re having a row with the wankers.
It probably helps if you’re British.
Upon hearing that his barbershop quartet lost the Best New Artist Grammy to Dexy’s Midnight Runners:
A Homer rant that I had to Google, sounds like its correct:
JohnT, I like that quote also. I get the “You want the truth?” bit - its from A Few Good Men. But the other stuff about “hand in a pile of goo” etc… what is this quoted from?
Unknown: “Look Marge, you don’t know what it’s like – I’m the one out there every day putting his ass on the line.”
… And Justice for All: “And I’m not out of order! You’re out of order! The whole freakin’ system is out of order!”
A Few Good Men: “You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can’t HANDLE the truth!”
Patton: " 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face, you’ll know what to do!"
Chinatown: “Forget it, Marge, it’s Chinatown!”
Anybody know the origins of the first line?
SNPP doesn’t have anything. I think it sounds like a lot of generic cop or whatever movies.
Not so much a line, but:
When Selma is marrying Troy McClure (after Troy has drunkenly confessed to Homer the night before that he doesn’t really love Selma, and is just using the wedding to get back in the public eye), the ceremony goes something like this:
Preacher: If anyone has any reason as to why this couple should not be wed, let him speak now, or forever hold his peace…
(Cut to close-up of Homer’s head, with his brain singing Gary Glitter’s “Rock N Roll, Part 2”)
Homer’s head: Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh…HEY! Duh-duh-duh…
Woo-hoo! I’m a college man! I won’t need my high school diploma
any more! [sets fire to it and starts singing]
I am so smart!
I am so smart!
I am so smart!
I am so smart!
S-M-R-T!
I mean, S-M-A-R-T…
Marge, where’s that…metal…dealie…used to…dig…food?
Marge: Homer, have you been up all night eating cheese!?
Homer: I think I’m blind.
I think this is from the episode where Marge kicks him out…
“I’d kill for you, Marge…(very sternly) PLEASE let me kill for you, Marge”
apologies in advance if I screwed up the quote !
Don’t worry – being eaten by an crocodile is just like going to sleep…in a giant blender.
Brockman: Mr. Simpson, how do respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack-beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?
Homer: Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forty percent of all people know that.
Facts can be used to prove anything that is even remotely true.
“BOOM!! KA-BLAMMO!! oh my!” (to cover up the noise of stills exploding in the basement)
“noooo…of…course not [eye meanders suspiciously]”
“LEFT! TURN!! STRAIGHT!! BOAT…GO…FORWARD!!..Well done Mr Lenny, well done!” (taking Mr. Burns’ boat out to sea.
“SANCTUARRY!! SANCT-TU-ARYYYY” [runs into church]
Reverend Lovejoy: “I really wish I never taught him that word”
“Shut up Net-face” (to Lenny, when trapped by pirates in a cargo net)