Revisited.
I think it’s during the prohibition episode. Bart and homer are off to take barrels of bowling balls filled with alcoholic beverages to moes. As Homer is leaving he says to marge as trivially as possible…
“Gone bowling. Not back, avenge death.”
The way he delivers the line is just brilliant! Anyway… go nuts.
My favorite Homer quotes are the ones that mention the “wine-dark sea.”
From one of the Halloween shows:
“Let’s go back to that…building thingie…where our beds and TV…is.”
Marge: Well, we don’t want to smother him.
Homer: Yeah, cause then we’d get the chair.
Marge: That’s not what I mean.
Homer: Sure it is, Marge, admit it.
Great delivery on that one.
Kent Brockman: Petty vandalism is down 70% but sack beatings are up 400%.
Homer: Anyone can use facts to prove anything. 48% of all people know that.
Kent: Touche.
Homer: Look Kent, I’d be lying if I didn’t say my men weren’t commiting crimes.
After discovering a cemetary in the basement of his new house Homer angrily stalks to the telephone and calls the realtor, yelling furiously into the phone:
"Mr. Bloot? Homer Simpson here. When you sold me this house, you forgot to
mention one little thing: YOU DIDN’T TELL ME IT WAS BUILT ON AN ANCIENT INDIAN BURIAL GROUND! …
NO YOU DIDN’T! …
Well, that’s not my recollection. …
Yeah? Well, all right, goodbye! [angrily hangs up]
He said he mentioned it five or six times."
Lisa: Oh, forget it… you wouldn’t understand.
Homer: Hey! Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand!
Anything from the “insanity peppers” episode, which is my favorite.
Homer’s reaction after the accidentally kills Pinchy’s great, too, when he’s eating him, crying, and won’t let the kids have any. “No…Pinchy would have wanted it this way.”
“Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that brought countless ills upon the Achaeans.”
Wait, wrong Homer. OK, I’ll go with:
“Hello? Can I get some help? Snack-related mishap!”
“Is there anything donuts can’t do?”
“Probably misses his old glasses”
Homer: Internet, eh? Is that thing still around?
The lesson is: never try.
Beer: The cause of, and solution to all of Life’s problems.
Marge: C’mon, Homer, Japan will be fun. You liked Rashomon.
Homer: That’s not how I remember it.
“Why don’t those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?”
Never, Marge! Never. I can’t live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors – oh, I’ll never be the darling of the so-called “City Fathers” who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about “What’s to be done with this Homer Simpson?”
“Beer beer beer! Bed bed bed!”
“Shut up, brain, or I’ll stab you with a Q-Tip.”
Damn, I just saw that half an hour ago!