“This soup is as weak as the acting, and nowhere near as hammy.”
Editor: This is a joke, right? I mean this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read!
Homer: What’s wrong with it?
Editor: You keep using words like “pasghetti” and “momatoes,” you
make numerous threatening references to the UN, and at the end you repeat the words “Screw Flanders” over and over again.
“Marge, where’s that metal dealie… you use to … dig … food?”
“You mean a spoon?”
“YAH YAH YAH!” grabs for it
(Can’t remember episode) “Lenny, remember that time I paid back that money I owed you? Well, now its time for you to do *me * a favour…”
(Monorail episode - Homer’s thought) “Keep looking shocked and move slowly towards the cake…”
I’m torn between:
“Look, Marge, you don’t know what it’s like. I’m the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I’m not out of order! You’re out of order. The whole freaking system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can’t handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face, you’ll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it’s Chinatown!”
and
“Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.”
Obviously, the second one is easier to fit into conversation. It’s so hard to pick though, I also love
“This is the most exciting thing I’ve seen since Halley’s comet collided with the moon!”
and
“In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!”
sigh About half of all I say is Homer quotes though…
“Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that brought countless ills upon the Achaeans. Many a brave soul did it send hurrying down to Hades, and many a hero did it yield a prey to dogs and vultures, for so were the counsels of Zeus fulfilled from the day on which the son of Atreus, king of men, and great Achilles, first fell out with one another.”
What, he asked for Homer quotes! 
::d&r::
You were beat to it in post 10.
And I nearly forgot: "Yeah I’m stupid all right! Stupid like a fox!
Gahh! read right past it. :smack:
doh!
From Marge vs the Monorail
Marge: Homer, there’s a man here who can help you!
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, it’s a scientist!
Homer: Batman’s a scientist.
Marge: It’s not Batman!
“I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.”
"In America…first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women!"
“Oh, sure, Marge…everything looks bad if you remember it!”
Lisa: Dad! Those* all come from the same animal!
Homer: Yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
*bacon, ham, and pork chops
Marge: Can we get rid of this Ayatollah T-shirt? Khomeini died years ago.
Homer: But, Marge! It works on any Ayatollah: Ayatollah Nakhbadeh, Ayatollah Zahedi…even as we speak, Ayatollah Razmada and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating their power.
—Alas that triumvirate of Twinkies overwhelmed my resolve. But fret not, Gentle Marge, for here in the Boudoir, the Gourmand metamorphoses into…The Voluptuary!!
—What the hell are you talking about.
to bart:
That’s a machiavellian countenance. Ooh, a Sextet of Ale.
—A pox upon you mountebanks and your subliminal chicanery!
(All from the ep where Homer accidentaly got a vocabulary building tape instead of “Subliminaly Slim.”)
Not a quote, per se, but I love the one where Homer’s listening to the audio cassette that says, “live each day like it’s your last.”
It then shows him sitting on the curb in front of the Quickie-Mart, sobbing, saying, “I don’t want to die.”
“The salad tastes like…bark, and the potatoes were very… rrrrrggggghh”
Bart: Do you want my fat?
Homer: You know I do.
Woohoo! Look at that blubber fly!
Stupid sexy Flanders.
Please don’t let it be the boy! Please don’t let it be the boy!
Because I just read it in another post of mine:
Homer (leading crowd with a megaphone): We’re here! We’re queer! We don’t want any more bears!
Bart:(riding gokart thru burns’ house) I’m Al Unser Jr!
Lisa:(on horseback) I’m Lady Godiva!
Homer:(on riding mower) I’m drunk!
Marge: Well, I know what these other three forks are for, but what’s this one for?
Homer: (with English accent) Why Marjorie, I do believe it’s for scratching your ass.
Marge: Homer! (scractches ass) Ooooh!
Homer: All we gotta do to get the money is spend the weekend in Bruns’ haunted mansion in…PENNSYLVANIA!
And post 10 was in turn beat by post #2.