Best lines for "picking up" women

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Since we’re all a bunch of geeks in here :slight_smile: , I thought I would do us all a public service by asking what the best pick-up lines are.

OK, how about just doing me the service? :wink:

When you give your line, please also identify the location. Here are some locations to prime your brain.

  1. You’re in a bar.
  2. You’re in a library/bookstore.
  3. You’re in Starbucks/coffeehouse.
  4. You’re in a laundromat.
  5. You’re on the subway/metro/bus.
  6. You’re in the gym.

What locations are better than others, in your experience?

And also: Ever been slapped (or some similarly negative response, like having a drink poured over your head) for a line?

2

Well, I literally picked up a woman (as in “swept her off her feet”) once, but she was easy. I can deadlift 300 lbs., and she was a mere 100 lbs.

She slapped me shortly thereafter.

Tripler
Damned near lost a tooth on that slap, too . . . :smack:

3

One lousy reply (from Tripler no less – that guy can usually barely string two words together) and my joke has already been used.

Nuts.

*:: kicks dirt :: *

4

Well, sonny, the best pickup line is no pickup line at all. Sincerity is usually preferable to glibness. But I’m a guy, and I haven’t tried to pull a bird in 15 years, except for my wife, who I actually do use pickup lines on, but that’s a different story…

5

1-6. (Me) begins to approach woman. Attempts to think of clever/sweet line. Decides that will fail and begins to panic that one of two things will escape mouth:

  1. uh… so…
  2. [Insert desperate plea here]

(Me) decides that doing nothing is a safe bet for avoiding rejection, returns to own table/seat to drink beer.

6

To quote a song, with a title I can’t remember, from Dancehall Crashers, the girl gets all sorts of sleazy pick lines, she falls for the guy that’s honest. It went like, “I sat next to him and he said “Hi, my name is Steve,” “Can I buy you a drink, marry you, anything?””

Wow, that’s incoherent.

7

Me no like your quote. Me pick you up like HULK and take you to cave. You woman? No care. Say you, I cannot not string words together in the Queen’s English, but me make good joke.

Me no care. Me sulk now.

Tripler
Me sad.

8

“I really like you. You don’t sweat much for a fat girl.”

9

  1. Are you as easy to talk to as you are to look at?

  2. Do you have a mirror in your panties? Because I can see myself in them…

10

So, here I am. Tell me, what were your other two wishes?

11

Tripler teased on message board. Tripler just trying to make joke, have fun. Tripler not need reminder of grammatical deficencies. Tripler not appreciate it, but Tripler can keep his cool. Tripler knows Giraffe just big dumb loser with really fat head.

What’s this? Tripler also messed up coding in quote tag?

Tripler angry!

Tripler SMASH!!

12

I’ve shared this before, but the best line ever used on me was “Can I befriend you?” He was my first love… And over 25 years after we met, he tracked me down on line and we’ve been IMing for almost 3 years now. I’d say that was a pretty good line.

13

Me like Giraffe joke. Make me laugh.

Me think of ‘grammatical deficiencies’ and make me angry. Me no smart. Me no grammar have! Me mad! Me smash!! Grrrrrr!!

Me smash monitor!!! Me smash keyboarza’diobgh a;sjkldforg;LMKNSDV a’klshdg’gh

14

When a guy comes on to me with this line, it always makes me hot.

You know, just to get back to the OP.

15

Hi, my name is …,

Hi, my name is …,

Hi, my name is …,

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me …

Hi, my name is …,

Hi, my name is …,

Though in my recent experience, just snogging them seems remarkably succussful. But you probably do have to pick the right girl.

16

All I wanna do is a zoom-a-zoom-zoom in ya boom-boom

17

All you wanna do is pick up a girl? Prob noblem.

Step 1. “If I can’t guess your weight, I’ll buy you a drink/buy you a latte/buy you a book/fold your laundry.”

Step 2. Pick her up, physically.

Step 3. Guess low, if you want to stay healthy.

Step 4. Buy her a drink/latte/book/fold her laundry.

Step 5. Hey, I got you this far. As the Texan said, “Yawn yown.”

18

Great. Now, how do I fake that?

19

Well, you could always try Black Mage’s approach:

http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010503

http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010505

http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010506

http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010509

http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010511

http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010514

Now see, it’s his last approach that worked. Sort of.

20

Bonzer’s final suggestion works very well. I’d trust him on that one. :wink: