Um, come on guys… This is clearly a joke. This guy is clearly just Doug Flutie out to get some laughs.
Yeah, my clothes are all aflutter from the whooshing in this thread.
I mean, really? Dick van Donk?
But seriously, fifteenth dan? Gotta give him credit for stones, that’s the highest fake rank I’ve ever heard about.
A word to the wise - any claim that you have any connection with
is a bad sign.
Regards,
百及び第50 dan
I like that the “What News” button goes to the “What’s New” site 
Kind of a Zen riddle there…
Seriously, as martial arts sites and orgs go, this is actually one of the more restrained ninjutsu pages out there. You should check out Stephen Hayes’ stuff, what a nut!
Now, clearly someone has to challenge him to a duel…
… preferably our very own ArrMatey? :dubious: (that’s an eyepatch-wearing smiley)
I dunno, Hayes’ site is pretty awful, but it seems like he has a rational agenda: taking money from people who don’t know any better. Dick Van Donk, the bastard son of La Femme Nikita and John Cleese, just seems to be mildly nuts.
Who was that guy in the 90s who wrote all of those hilarious books about ninjas? I remember him coming up with all of this hilariously bad ninja lore, and going on about how ninjas would raid each others’ camps and use secret spy-ring pressure points to maim, kill, and brainwash each other with the power of their mind. The books allegedly told you how to do these things, so judging by the diagrams the secret to brainwashing people is really, really bad karate performed in black pajamas.
Ashida Kim, that was the guy! Looking at his website I would swear it’s a whoosh, but apparently he takes himself seriously…
Please, leave Linda* alone, okay?
There was an accident involving a throwing star, the family doesn’t like to talk about it.
OK, here is the awesomeness that is Ashida Kim. This is from the section on his open “$10,000 Challenge.” Watch for the abrupt change in voice about 4/5 of the way through: 
That website is a stitch. This guy is nuts. He reminds me of that guy who used to advertise his books in the backs of comic books. The dude with the afro who used to run ads calling himself “The most dangerous man in the world” and gave a list of martial arts styles in which he claimed to have beaten people in “death matches?” Does anyone else remember those ads? Called himself “Count” something?
Now that I think of it, I’m really curious who that dude was and whether there really were any death matches. When I was like in 5th grade, my friends and I accepted those ads as a valid cite that death matches really must occur somewhere. We were imagining some kind of Return of the Dragon scenario on some remote island. Obviously, that was absurd…or was it?
Check out this puzzle on Kim’s site that has “defied Western science for centuries”
Please note that this is not an electronic trick, that the page can be printed and the puzzle cut out.
The beauty of it is that there is no formalized process to become certified in mind control - you receive your certification when the council feels compelled to give it to you.
Here ya go: Count Dante. Never heard of the guy myself, but found the link reading about Kim (who has a beef with the Wikipedia founder) on Wiki. Doesn’s say anything about death matches, but it seems one of the Count’s henchmen was killed in a real life dojo battle in Chicago.
Count Dante, the Deadliest Man Alive!
Join his Black Dragon Fighting Society and the World’s Deadliest Fighting Secrets Can Be Yours!! Learn to maim, mutilate, and disfifur!
They aren’t talking about controlling the minds of others - they are talking about controlling your own.
I found the book in a bargain bin a few years ago. It was interesting, but I never finished it. One of the claims he makes is to teach you ESP. I didn’t learn that.
Interesting story about Count Dante from some newspaper called the Chicago Reader: The Life and Death of the Deadliest Man Alive.
Count Dante, that’s the guy. Thanks. Some further Googling tells me that he used to stage some no-holds-barred, ultimate fighting type tournaments but I can’t find anything about literal death matches. He seems to have been kind of an interesting character, though. I’m mildly surprised to see that he does seem to have been fairly legit in a number of different styles. He was a flamboyant self-promoter but not a total fraud.
Very interesting article. Thanks.
I knew a woman who taught Silva Mind Control. She gave seminars, made a bunch of money, and quit. Most of the attendees were people who needed to take control of their lives. Two days of EST type brainwashing and these folks were ready to rock and roll.
One of the things adepts can do is diagnose illnesses through SVM. Somehow she managed to miss the stomach cancer that killed her father 6 months after she gave him the once over.