It was in grade 11, i didn’t even see it coming, it just happened.
There we sat, i can’t remember who all was there anymore, except for my self and a lovely young lady called Erin. She happened to be pealing an orange… and then i said it, leaning across the table, taking the orange and her hand in mine, and in my best:
[cheesy French accent]
Erin, you are like an orange.
Tough on the outside, yet oh so soft on the inside
Sweet, my dear, but with just a little zing
And, most important of all, when i squeeze you just right…
You drip.
[/cheesy French accent]
As i recall, she didn’t slap me, but i have a habit of blocking things out. Anyway, i’m pretty sure it was the finest damn line i’ve ever come up with, and used.
You’re like a prized bass, I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you.
Andygirl, another one to try on musicians:
Hi, would you like to finger pick my g-string?
Hi, my name is Ender. I thought you looked quite attractive and I’d like to get to know you better.
Of course I’ve never used that one. I’m not insane. I’ll stick with the fish mounting, thankyouverymuch.
I went out for a beer with a coworker of mine. We work at a Power Transmission/Bearing place.
The barmaid is really cute. So we start to chit-chat, and she asks where we work. We tell her, and she asks what exactly it is we do.
Mr. I-am-so-funny-and-witty-BERNSE says “We sell greases for many uses. Some are even edible.” or something to that respect. She promptly left us alone, and we didn’t get served again after that.
I saw a woman where I work who buys clothes daily. I said 'you know what would look nice on you?" she said ‘what’, I said ‘me!’ She paused for a moment & said 'No, you’d be too tall on me." nyah.
Richard Feynman, the genius American physicist, insists in one of his books that the best way to get laid is to ask the woman if she’ll sleep with you. Pretty radical idea, eh? The trick, he says, is that you must do this before you have bought her anything.i.e. a drink, dinner, etc.
nyah.