Pick up lines....

What is the most outrageous pick up line anyone has ever used on you, or that you have used to grab someone’s attention…and did it work?

“Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good
things.” --Edgar Degas

The worst pick up line I can think of is “Hi. I’m a purple crack whore.”

The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group.

I’ll have to remember that… me, I just use… I hope you have a sense of humour, you are going to need it.

“Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good
things.” --Edgar Degas

One I always liked was "Since you’ve lost your virginity, do you mind letting me have the box it came in?

Magnificent to behold - Greatly to be praised.

This is not something I use, but an attempt I saw.

Guy: Hi, wanna fuck?
Girl: Leave me alone right now.
Guy: Then I guess a blowjob is out of the question?
{Girl grabs Guy’s arm, pivots, and physically throws him several feet. Guy begins to get the hint.}

It didn’t have the desired effect, but it certainly did get her attention.

Laugh hard; it’s a long way to the bank.

One of my … less discriminating friends said a line that worked on her was: a guy came up to her in a bar, splashed a teensy bit of water on her and himself, and said, “Oh let’s get out of these wet things.”

One of my favorites was - and correct me if I get the actors wrong - Dustin Hoffman’s line to Jessica Lange in Tootsie: “I think you are very beautiful and I want to make love to you.” Of course, it had been suggested by her to Hoffman’s female alter ego a few scenes earlier. Didn’t work.

Nothing I write about any person or group should be applied to a larger group.

  • Boris Badenov

One very direct pick up line would be:

“Nice shoes. Wanna fuck ?”


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

Okay, I don’t want any flak over this one; I did use it, and it did work.
“So… do you cheat?”

Now this is a really stupid one, but several women have laughed when I used it.

“Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven?”

J’ai assez vécu pour voir que différence engendre haine.

yikes Arnold… and does it actually work?

We are, each of us angels with only one wing;
and we can only fly by
embracing one another

… or did they end up hurting YOU ?


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

Good God, Aura Seer…soemebody actually used that as a Pickup Line? I’m surprised the girl didn’t just choose the right part of his anatomy to KICK!!!

A friend of mine has a funny story about that pick-up line.

A girl he knows was once given that line in a bar. She was pretty drunk at the time, and it worked.

A couple of days later, the exact same guy comes up to her again and gives her the exact same line. He didn’t remember her, but she remember him.

She looked directly at him and said, “I bounced.

Remembered. Remembered. I’ve been speaking English all my life, I swear.

“Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”

“It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument” - William McAdoo

The absolute worst I ever got was, “Hi! Wanna shower together?”
This is of course ignoring the old chestnut, “Come here often?”
BTW, men, you are usually the brunt of bad pick up jokes. But the immortal H.L. Mencken put a nice, masculine spin on it. He was forced into proximity to an aggressive, unkempt woman. When he got free, he whispered to a companion, “Makes you want to burn every bed in the country, doesn’t she?”

Aw, why did you have to bring Mencken into it??! The burning bed would be appropriate if he were alone in it! (Among other things, he was an enemy sympathizer in World War I.)

dougie_monty, a groin shot always sounds like a good idea, but it’s harder to connect with one that you would think. Even a fairly drunk guy will instinctively protect his 'nads. Since the fool was reaching to put his hand on the girl’s shoulder, it was fairly easy for her to overbalance him and send him flying.

The funniest part of the whole bit is that this guy lived in my dorm, and he told me he’d planned that line beforehand. Because he asked for a fuck first, she was supposed to be relieved that he’d settle for a blowjob, and agree to give him one. Dude was a first-class dickhead if I’ve ever seen one.

Laugh hard; it’s a long way to the bank.

One guy asked me, “If I blow in your ear will you have sex with me?”. It didn’t work.

More woman than you’ll ever inflate!

The one I usually use (the once a year I work up the courage to approach anyone) is “HI, I’M MATT! IT’S VERY LOUD IN HERE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO GET SOME FRESH AIR?” I hang out in loud, smoky places (nightclubs) so this is true.