Weird, creepy, and absolutely hilarious pick up lines!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This morning I found myself reminiscing about the many, er, creative pickup lines that have been used upon me throughout my 19 years on this planet. Out of sheer boredom (and…um…not trying to get out of work… :wink: ), I’ve decided to share some of the better ones with all of you today. Feel free to share your, “No seriously, does that EVER work?” stories.

Pickup line one-
To set** the scene: ** I am at the grocery store, piddling around with that confused, wide eyed, “Oh my god- why are there 29 kinds of peanut butter?” look on my face. Out of nowhere, I have some 40 ish, over-tanned, tank top-wearing, too much cologne- havin’, ear pierced man in front of me.

**Him: ** “Hey baby.”
Me: ::glare of death:: (I do not like being called baby)
…ok are you ready?
…
**Him: ** “Baby, I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I sure as hell can make your bed ROCK!”

Pick up line two-

The scene: A friend and I are in Del Taco, munching on our 99 cent tacos. From behind my friend, I notice a couple guys that are roughly our age (we were about 17, they were probably 19 or 20) checking us out. We really can’t see them clearly, so we let it go. When they leave the restaurant, we try to get a look of them out the window while they are getting into their car, alas! There is a glare on the window and nothing to see. We spend the next 15 minutes finishing our food and head out of the restaurant.

There we find the two “gentlemen” in their beat up Geo Metro, one in the front seat, one in the back, waiting for us to come out. This is the dialogue that ensued:

Driver guy (in that, “I’m trying to be slick, but please don’t reject me” voice): “Hey ladies, do you like to party?”
**My friend and I look at one another and say in unison, ** “Uh. No. We’re good girls.”
**Driver guy: ** *“Good girls, eh? Why don’t you let me show you just how bad I can be!” * <–what that means, I still don’t know. “Come on ladies, let us give you a ride.” He then opens his beat up, dented door and waves us over.
We laugh hysterically. He looks sad. We leave.

And finally-
Then of course there is the guy who walked up to me in the quad at school (college) and said, “Hey baby, you want an Italian guy who can give a nice massage and has a nice, hard cock?”
…I went and found my guy friends, they taught him that you don’t speak to a lady like that. :smiley:

2

I’m waiting for a chance to spring my personal favorite on some unsuspecting female geek.

I should make sure I have a camera ready.

3

I just can’t let this one go… :smiley: :smiley: :snerk:

4

After moving to Boston, I went out to a club one night. I’m sitting down, listening to the music and people-watching, when some guy about twice my age comes over and stands nearby. I can tell he’s going to try and make a move. Sure enough . . .

“Say, haven’t I seen you here before?”
“No, this is the first time I’ve been here.”
“Oh, uh . . .”

His single line having fallen flat, he seemed at a loss. I picked up my drink and walked away before he tried again.

5

Now I am imagining them doing that :smiley: :smiley: . Not bad at all.

What? Munching tacos, what did you think? Well, she said it, I didn’t.

6

This reminds me of a “Mad” magazine riff on the same topic, from…well sometime in the late 70s / early 80s (my “Mad” mag-reading years). The topic was cliche pick-up lines uttered at the worst possible places. The only one I remember clearly was the "at the VD clinic: “Haven’t we met somewhere before?”

7

I’ve always wanted to wander into some college math course and ask some cutie: “Hey baby, what’s your cosine?”

8

If someone hit on me with a super lame, nerd line-- I’d marry you :smiley:

And I mean, she got a chicken taco and I got a beef taco, so like, we took time to eat each other’s tacos… and rub baby oil on each other while we wrestled.

Did that make your day? heh

9

Hi, I’m not wanted on any felony charges, in this state.

You’ve been starring in my pornographic day dreams for a while. Do you want to see if you can out do yourself?

10

I read this on another pick-up line thread:

“Excuse me, but does this towel smell like ether?”

You wanted creepy!

11

This one still fills me with a mix of stunned silence and hyterical laughter when I think about it.

I was on my way to work, security uniform, and there’s this kid on the bus with me (high school aged, I’d guess). And he starts asking me questions. Eventually he finishes with–

“How about you protect me while we go to a movie sometime?”

12

“I love big women. Especially when they’re older”

Fabulous.

13

And he was probably wondering why you didn’t jump at the chance to date him - he gave you not one, but TWO compliments!

14

Hey, I think I know that guy. mutter

15

Ok, Jayne, you must admit: that was pretty good for some dumb kid. I would have laughed.

And, as far as the big women comment- stuff like this reminds me that most men do not think before they speak.

16

We men just suck. Really. No two ways about it. As a man I have heard some truely mind-numbingly-stupid remarks from many I have called my friends.

Sorry…so sorry…I’m, well, I’m just so sorry.

17

I used the following:

“My friend says that you like men to bury their face in your cleavage. Is that true?”

Oddly enough, it worked.

I knew of someone who’d just say “Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?” He success rate wasn’t too high, but it did work occasionally.

18

Would’ve worked on me!

19

I can’t help it if it was funny. You don’t have to be grumpy about it.

:sniff: :sniff:

slinks off to polish his best pick-up line

20

Him: “Your clothes and my clothes would look great piled up on my bedroom floor together.”

Me: Uh, yeah. Did you forget to your lithium today?