I went to a sports bar with my friend on Friday. A girl tapped me on the shoulder and said: “My roommate said she’d clean my room if I got your number. She doesn’t think that you’d give it to me. And the room is a mess!”
Now that was original.
So did you give her the number?
A girl once said to me – “Would you like to come back to my place for a cup of cocoa? I make the best cocoa, with real cream, and a little bit of vanilla. It’s delicious, and I promise you won’t even have to drink it, we’ll just go straight through the kitchen on the way to my bedroom without even mentioning it.”
She was cool.
I’m married. But I wanted her to win her bet (if it was a real bet), so I gave her my work number, and will tell her I’m married if she calls. I swear. I did decline her invitation to join her and her friend for drinks.
I played baseball when I was younger. On the day of the last game I’d be able to play for this club (I was turning 22, 21 was the max), afterwards we had a big ‘end-of-season’ party.
There was a beautiful girl there that to this day I think was a rental intended for me for the night. She walked up to me and said I swing a pretty impressive bat.
I said I don’t remember seeing her at any of our games. She said, no she hates baseball, but she can appreciate a good cleanup man.
I missed the rest of the party.
A girl asking for my number?
Why in God’s name would think that would require some sort of clever line?
Of course, now that I’m married I’d have to refuse or explain, but the point is that just outright asking me would work.
The hard part is finding a line from me to a female that would elicit a real (non-hack) telephone number.
I actually got “Hey, wanna fuck?” to work
actually, I didn’t even ask a question, my exacts words were
“Hey, we’re going to hook up now”
to which she replied “ok!”
I met my ex when she walked in, stared around the room, we kinda stared at each other for a while, and like 5 minutes later she walked up to me and says “Well, you’re the hottest guy at the party so I’m talking to you for the rest of the night”
My roomie had to go to the campus medical center to get a few disease tests done. When he came back he said that the receptionist at the testing center had been, ah, particularly attractive. I told him he had missed the greatest pickup line opportunity ever.
“Hi, I need every STD test you have, and how you doin?” 
A friend of mine in band played trumpet. He was easily one of the most talented trumpet players we had.
One day, shortly after I left band and decided to stick with ROTC, I headed back up to the band room to talk to him and a friend of mine, and I caught his best band geek pickup line ever:
“I know how to triple tongue.”
Too bad he wasn’t using it as a pickup line intentionally. He was very suddenly surrounded by several very curious band girls. Haha.
~Tasha
A friend of mine walked out of a tavern’s restroom with his jeans unzipped. He walked up to a gal and explained that he’d gotten his zipper handle jammed down in the placket. “Could you pry it out with your car key?”
This one’s mine, and, forgive me, I’m quite proud of it!
I was presenting a planetarium show, and doing my usual fine job. After the show, a rather attractive young man came up to the presenter booth and complemented me.
Him: Wow, that was amazing! I really enjoyed that - you have a beautiful speaking voice. How can I find out more about the stars?
Me: Well, if you’d like to go stargazing sometime, I’m free on Saturday…
Sadly, he then told me he wanted to learn to impress his girlfriend. I will definitely remember the line for future use, though!
The only chat up line I ever came up wit hwas in the heady days of 2003, I was gonna propose to the next Guardian-reading female I saw “hey baby can i sex up your dossier?”
I was in a bar called Mr. Nibs. A dude came in wearing a long leather coat. He scanned the area, then walked over to a table near the pinball macine I was playing. He leaned over to the two girls sitting at the table, smiled a million-watt smile and said,
“Hi. I’ve got a lot of money.”
I smiled as he took the proferred seat.
One night at the bar the guy a couple of stools down leaned over and said, “Hey, that’s a nice mole.” (I have a very large mole on my wrist)
Luckily, I quickly thought of my best-yet response to a creepy guy with a pick-up line:
“My dermatologist doesn’t think so.” And I turned back to talk to my friend.
Weirdest pick-up line I’ve ever heard, though.
Hasn’t there been an actual sociological study done that shows that college girls can get just about a 100% hit rate just by going up to guys and saying “Hi, you’re cute! Would you like to come home and fuck?”.
The only trouble is that in the real world, 99% of the time that guys hear that line from college girls, it’s for a sociological study, and not a genuine suggestion. 
I read this study too, but it’s been years. Yes, most guys approached by an attractive girl asking to have sex said ‘Yes.’ But I’m pretty sure most girls said ‘No’ when approached by an attractive guy. The fundamental unfairness of life!
Actually, the real unfairness is that while I was single, I was virtually never hit on by women, but fairly frequently by gay men. I missed my calling! I could have had hot monkey sex all the time! :mad:
My favorite line is, “Hey, you wanna get a pizza and fuck?” If the other party says yes, you have a fun night lined up. If she/he says no, respond, “What, you don’t like pizza?”
The worst one I heard didn’t happen to me. A friend of mine, who is a bartender, had a guy sit down at the bar. He looked at her and told her that her eyes were like crescent wrenches. When she asked why he responded that every time he looked into her eyes, his nuts tightened up.
The worst one to happen to me wasn’t because of the line, it was because of the timing. I was in college and was out to a bar with a bunch of friends. I was sitting at the bar which was shaped like a long ‘U’, with the bartender on the inside and the customers seated aroung the outside. I was on one leg of the ‘U’ and this very attractive blonde was sitting on the other side so we were facing each other. We made eye contact several times. Enough that I normally would have gone over and offered to buy her a drink. But, I had a girlfriend at the time so I ignored her.
I watched at least half a dozen guys go up to her and get shot down. I thought to myself that I’m glad I wasn’t single or I would have had the same fate. After being there for a couple hours, my buddies and I decided to hit a different bar and headed to the door.
As I was walking out, someone grabbed my arm. I turned around and it was the girl. She said to me and I quote “I would have licked every inch of your body”. Then she turned around and walked away. I just stood there dumbfounded for awhile. I had been single at that college for over three years and that never happened to me. Only after I got into a serious relationship.
I tend to over-intellectualize everything, I always have. Not so my buddy Hutch. He was and is one of the most up-front individuals I have ever known. When we were both single, I never ceased to be amazed at the effectiveness of his pick-up lines even though they had no reason to work.
My favorite of his was: “Hey, I couldn’t help noticing you’re a girl.”
A friend of mine in college was in a single bar in Boston and said “I’m an economist, and this looks like a marketplace to me.”
Hey, no one said they had to work.