OK, I’ll take your word for it.
Eddie Izzard (Dress to Kill - "A lot of existential questions have occured to me, you know, during the years. If I fall down on these heels, can I possibly get back up? Noh!)
Also, Dylan Moran’s “Monster” tour DVD has over fifty playcounts on my PC. “I’m not saying rap music is badly written or just bad music, not at all. I’m not saying anything like that, it would just be pointlessly offensive! Listen, listen, all I’m saying is that if you took . . . say, a broom . . . dipped one end in brake fluid . . . and shoved the other end up my arse, put me on a trampoline in a moving elevator, I could write a better song on the wall!”
His delivery and timing is just perfect, and I’ve got to love the accent and the small little jokes with the audience. (E.g. “So you, plumber guy, when did you get out of prison? Are those your friends over there on the first row, yeah? Oh, you on the right - you’re his parole officer? Aaah, so where are you from? Oh, Wales? Well, I always did think a minus and a minus makes a plus.” This was just a little two minute joke he made with some of the people who came back from the break early, not even in his show repertoire, which has far higher class.)
Eddie Izzard, without doubt.
Comics steal each others’ lines all the time and I would have no idea if Margaret Smith also used it and if so which one used it first.
However, the person I saw was Carol Leifer and she did say that line.
104 posts, and no Dom Irrera?
cue laugh track
I’m currently watching Bill Maher’s new special “The Decider.” He’s awesome. In fact, some time ago he took the place of Dennis Miller in my heart as my favorite political stand up guy. I also love his HBO talk show.
Yes. That’s Larry Reeb’s “signature line”.
There is no way to determine the best stand-up comic ever because humor standards change with the times. All we can say is best of their day.
And I like many of the comics already mentioned such as Kathleen Madigan. But “best of her day?” No way. I personally think Judy Tenuta is hilarious. But she isn’t one of the greats, either.
Milton Berle was a pioneer and one of the most successful. Not one of my favorites, though.
Bill Cosby, Woody Allen, Richard Pryor, Robin Williams are arguably among the greats. Many others qualify.
What, nobody’s even mentioned Rosie O’Donnell? She was very big, but one of the greats? Close, at best, even forgetting her recent descent into conspiracy lunacy.
IMO Bill Maher isn’t even worth mentioning. He was never anywhere near as great as Carlin, and he’s become even more cynical and bitter. But I do think that line he delivered at one White House Press Club luncheon was absolutely brilliant and hilarious: “Marion Barry has a plan to get cocaine off the streets of DC - one gram at a time.”
No mention of Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog?
…What?..
I keed, I keed! 
Ah yes! good choice…
…for me to POOP ON!
Larry Miller’s routine about going skiing and winding up talking to a goat is one of the most excrutiatingly funny routines I have ever heard.
I love his “5 Levels of Drinking” routine.
Can anyone find a link of his skiing routine online? I’ve often heard of it, but never heard it myself.
I remember back in the day, in the early '80s, when Robin Williams was still just the guy from Mork and Mindy, before he broke out into the movies in a big way, his stand up act got a lot of play around here in the Bay Area, and some of those routines were the funnies shit I’ve ever seen. It’s hard to remember it now, but when he was on he was amazing.
Thinking a little bit outside the box: what about Groucho Marx? I know that most of his known work came in movies with his brothers, that a lot of what would be called his “stand-up” work came in long lost vaudeville shows, but some of his off the cuff jokes on “You Bet Your Life” were downright hilarious. (And have even been discussed here on the Dope.) Put him on a stage like today’s comics, with today’s standards, and there might be no one left sitting upright in their seats by the end of the show.
Damn fine suggestion.
Comparing Izzard to Carlin is no good. Carlin has 50 years of standup. Nowadays a comedian quickly gets a TV gig or goes into movies. Few stay on the circuit. Tim Allen was a very good standup. He got rich on an ok TV show and then made horrible movies. A long standup career is less likely now. Sienfeld, Adam Sandler, Carey and others are off getting rich.
Thanks. I was rather proud of that one myself.
It’s hard to decide…
Bob Newhart
Eddie Izzard
I don’t think I have a third. I like Chris Rock, but best ever? Maybe.
I’m pleased to see that Brian Regan is getting a lot of mentions in this thread, because he is my favorite stand-up act. It’d be great if he could get his own show someday and make it succeed. I mean, if Ray Romano can do it…
And,
She certainly was…
You needed logs? Because we had logs…
Richard Pryor for best overall.
For personal favorite, I have to go with Richard Jeni. His death affected me like Mitch Hedburg’s affected many other people.