You will find many of the ones I love right here:
http://scadabush.com
When I become famous, I hope to make that list. Until then, I will do my best to be as funny as I possibly can.
In the meantime, I look forward to learning about the funny people you like to listen to.
ps. I don’t do drugs. Beyond the stage, THIS is my only addiction 
Most comedians have fairly short shelf lives. They’re either too topical which is fine or just don’t have that much material that is top notch overall.
**
George Carlin** is the greatest. His peaks were the highest and his longevity at the top amazing. His later stuff was still better than most others.
Honorable mention: Richard Pryor was extremely funny and for a fairly lengthy time.
Dishonorable Mention: Bill Cosby despite what we now know about him was still one of the funniest comedians ever and stayed funny for the second longest time.
Greatest living comedian - Doug Stanhope
Greatest comedian ever (living or dead) - George Carlin
Really good comedians - Patton Oswalt, Louis CK, David cross, Bill burr, mitch hedberg.
Very nice. You know your comics. I was on a flight to I don’t remember where and I noticed that George Carlin was sitting a couple of rows back. I wanted to talk to him but it looked like there was this wall all around him so I didn’t say a word.
Despite the fact that he was quite close to me and I looked directly at him, there was never any eye contact between him and I.
I will never forget that. Comics have this rare ability to communicate without saying a word. I don’t regret giving him his space even though I was itching to hear that voice.
The five best sets I’ve seen in person were Steven Wright, from his early I Have a Pony days; Dennis Miller, The White Album tour; Louis Black, the Black Album tour; Gilbert Gottfried, and A. Whitney Brown. (Yes, the guy from *SNL *whose signature line was "I’m A. Whitney Brown. Someday I hope to be *The *Whitney Brown. His set were all very long, utterly hilarious stories.)
At the Montreal Just for Laughs festival three years ago I saw John Mulaney, Bo Burnham, and Trevor Noah, on his I Was Born a Crime tour. All were really, really good. They weren’t even the big names I saw, but they were better and I got to see them in small theaters. If you can get to a comedy festival, do so.
Of currently working comedians, I’d say Louis C.K. is at the top of the heap. My favorites from the past: Steven Wright, Garry Shandling, the young Jay Leno, the young George Carlin, Jerry Seinfeld, Mitch Hedberg, Bob Newhart, the young Dennis Miller, Norm Macdonald.
Louis C.K.
Lewis Black
John Mulaney
John Mulaney and Louis CK are my current favorites.
I saw Jay at a college in the mid 80’s, and my side still hurts from laughing so hard! I was soooo disappointed and dumbfounded at what he had become in later years that I have to believe that aliens switched him out for a pandering unfunny version that could host a latenight talkshow.
mc
I used to like Louis C. Kay but now I think he’s overrated, but here’s a true story.
The other day I was stopped by a cop who looked like Louis C. Kay, but the funny thing about him is that he had a smile pasted on his face when he stopped me. Most cops don’t. This prompted me to yell out;
“Louis C. Kay. You look just like Louis C. Kay. Now don’t tell me that nobody has told you that you look just like Louis C. Kay” I said, laughing all the way to the expectation that he would let me off with a warning.
The cop maintained his poker face smile and went back to his car as they always do before they deliver the bad news.
To my shock, when he returned, he was still smiling -no shit, this is a true story.
Long story short, he gave me a fifty dollar ticket and indicated that I was only going 15 km over the limit even though it was well over 50, in fact.
Totally nice guy, he should have been a stand-up…he didn’t even lecture me for being a bad boy.
Jeff Foxworthy
Bill Engvall
Larry The Cable Guy
Ron White
Jeff Allen (when he’s not proselytizing)
Jon Reep
Ralphie May
Bill Burr
John Mulaney (honorable mention to Nick Kroll - I loved Oh, Hello)
David Cross
Jim Jefferies
Marc Maron
Patton Oswalt
Kumail Nanjiani
… a few others. I saw Jean and John (Jean Grae and John Hodgman) do a show in Portland, ME this summer that was great.
I think Richard Pryor was the most consistently funny of the ones I’ve seen. Carlin was very good early, but towards the end of his career he became less funny and more ranty.
Bob Newhart was great. He and Bill Cosby are about the only standups I could watch with my mother in the room.
Geez - talk about a sausage party…
How about Maria Bamford, Tig Nataro, Sarah Silverman, or Iliza Schlesinger.
The Amazing Jonathan
Dennis Wolfberg
Chris Rush
Bob Newhart
Richard Pryor
Jackie Vernon
Kevin Hart’s TV specials have been a lot of fun.
Paula Poundstone killed in concert.
My favorite of all time? George Carlin.
Billy Connolly is the greatest story-teller stand-up I’ve ever seen.
Jerry Sadowitz can make the late-stage terminal diagnosis Bill Hicks seem like a cheerful, happy-go-lucky optimist, but he can be excruciatingly funny.