I was watching the pilot of Glee and was surprised by a terrific throw-away line.
The camera pans past evil cheergirls coach Sue Sylvester as she berates the girls performance, “that’s sloppy. You’re sloppy babies.” Out of shot she says, “and I want to see the agony out of your eyes.”
It just broke me up.
Any other out of left field funny lines.
My favorite one ever is from a little cult movie called “Back to the Beach” which stars Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello and is both a parody and an homage to all of the 60’s beach party movies.
The set up: Annette’s daughter is fretting because she’s broken up with her boyfriend. Annette asks her “You know what we used to do at a time like this? Pajama Party!” Which sets up a whole song and dance routine with all the girls having a pajama party, of course.
Later on, almost to the end of the film, Frankie is dealing with a group of Surf Nazis about having rights to the beach. Frankie turns to one of the Surf Nazis and says “You know what we used to do at a time like this?”
Almosy unnoticed in the back, one of the Surf Nazis yells out “Pajama Party!”
Cracks me up every time.
I liked the off the cuff remark made by Caine’s character in “The Italian Job” when he explains how he made so much money shooting tigers (“I used a machinegun”.) Quite unexpected, even knowing that it was a light hearted film.
Years ago in Soap, a police officer asked Billy Crytsal’s character
“Mr. Dallas, are you a practising homosexual?”, to which he replied
“I don’t have to practice, I’m very good at it”.
“Another brilliant idea, Steinberg!”
-Arrested Development
There’s a line from There’s Something About Mary that kind of slips uder the radar. When Woogie is asked how great his life is since he got married, he says “Yeah, each day’s better than the next.”
And of course, from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade:
“That’s the Ark of the Covenant.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, pretty sure.”
The Simpsons has a ton of these. For example, from the episode I happened to be watching last night (“Mountain of Madness”): When, thanks to an exploding propane tank, the cabin that Homer and Mr. Burns have been trapped in comes rocketing down a snow-covered mountain toward a large group of people, Lenny yells, “Something’s wrong with its brakes!”
I think my all-time favorite throwaway line is from the Death scene in Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life (when Death comes for the dinner party where the guests have been poisoned by THE SALMON MOUSSE: “Hey! I didn’t eat the mousse!”
In Die Hard With A Vengeance
Willis and Jackson are careening through Central Park in a taxi, people dodging out of the way barely in time.
Jackson: Are you aiming for these people?
Willis: No! Well, maybe that mime.
I gotta think AD wins with these kind of lines.
Michael: “You have to take the Seaward back.”
Louise: “I’m not going anywhere.”
thwartme
Troy McCloure: But for that ending to work you’d have to ignore all the Simpson DNA evidence. And that would be downright nutty.
Good one.
Ray: I saw your midget today. Little prick didn’t even say hello.
Chlo: Well, he’s on a lot of ketamine.
Ray: What’s that?
Ray: Um, horse tranquilizer.
Ray: Horse tranquilizer? Where’d he get that?
Chlo: I sold it to him.
Ray: **You can’t sell horse tranquilizers to a midget! **
And:
Ray: Stop crying like a big, dumb, gay baby!
Seriously, see this movie.
Mike Meyers in “So I Married an Axe Murderer”.
In a tense moment (even though it is a comedy) Charlie is trying to call the police about his insane fiance trying to kill him. Without warning an axe smashes the phone right in front of him. Wide eyed he screams at the top of his lungs “WHAT THE FUCK!”
Seriously, watch In Bruges. Here’s a clip. The whole movie is great:
In one episode of Weeds, Nancy and Celia have been snarking at each other about something, but in a fairly friendly way. As she puts on her sunglasses and turns to leave, you can just barely hear Celia say, over her shoulder, “See you next Tuesday!” Nancy doesn’t respond or even seem to notice, but it sure gave me a fit of the chuckles.
You see that house? That is where I was born. My mother said to me, “Garcon. The world is a beautiful place, and you must spread joy and contentment everywhere you go”. And so I became a waiter… Well, I know it is not a great philosophy but…
Well, fuck you. I can live my life in my own way if I want to.
Fuck off. Don’t come following me.
The very best line from this movie was:
“A bottle!”
A seriously unfunny comedy from the 60s The Impossible Years, about a family bringing up a wayward teen did contain this gem.
Mother - “She’ll be a comfort to you in your old age.”
Father (David Niven) - “She should be - shes causing it!”
Marcel Marceau saying “Non!” in Silent Movie.
I’ve always loved the “I just ambushed you with a cup of coffee!” line from Ronin. It’s areally funny line that comes out of nowhere and punctuates and breaks the tension of the scene.
I’ve got just two words for you: Shut. The fuck. Up.
Chlo: There’s never been a movie made in Brouges.
Ray: No wonder, it’s a shithole.
Chlo: Brouges is my home town, Ray!
Ray: It’s still a shithole, even midgets have to take drugs to stick it.
You get me my Cheez Whiz, boy?