Inspired by other ‘best of’ threats.
I’ll admit, this isn’t the best, but it’s the one that springs to mind immediately. In ‘Sharpe’s Eagle’, a ‘gentleman’ officer wants to challenge Sharpe to a duel. One of the other men says something to the effect of:
It’s the none-too-subtle implied threat that makes it, and the way Gibbons backpedals that makes it so satisfying.
Dirty Harry
In another movie, Dirty Harry tells a crook to behave.
The crook says something to the effect of “Who’s going to make me?”
Harry replies, “Just me and Smith . . . and Wesson.”
In an episode of Babylon Five, DeLenn tells an EarthForce ship, “The only human ever to defeat a Minbari in combat, is behind me. You are in front of me. If you wish to live, be elsewhere.”
In another episode, Londo tells Refa to stop dealing with Morden.
Refa asks why.
“Because I have asked you to.
Because you value the good of our people above your own personal ambition.
And because I have poisoned your drink.”
It’s not from movies or TV, but a teacher I had in primary schooll, when I was about 6 or 7, would hold her fist to our faces and ask
“Do You Smell Dead Men?”
Support Your Local Sheriff
Sheriff McCollough (James Garner) wants to arrest Joe Danby (Bruce Dern) for murder. Trouble is, the bars haven’t arrived for the jail cells. McCollough finds some red paint and carefully drips in on the floor, the brings back Danby and puts him in the unfinished cell. There is a line drawn in chalk where the bars should be and McCollough tells Danby that he just has to stay behind the chalk line.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle I’m gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-fucking-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you! ONE! TWO! THREE!
We used to have a “official” looking sticker on the front door of our house.
it read:
“This house is protected by a retired gun smith, with bad vision. Please wipe your feet on the mat”
never, ever had a problem…
FML
Daniel Plainview: One night I’m going to come to inside of your house, wherever you’re sleeping, and I’m going to cut your throat.
Evil deputy from Billy Jack: Now you listen to me, greaseball. If you ever touch her again, I’m gonna cripple your other leg…and I don’t mean the one you walk on.
Oh crap, because there’s a Major Hogan in the OP’s quote, I can’t get past *“The next sound you hear will be sleigh bells…coming toward you!” *
Con Air might be a very cheesy movie, but Malkovich’s character does have one of my favorite lines of all time. To the pilot of the plane he hijacks:
“Say a word about this over the radio, and the next wings you see will belong to the flies buzzing over your rotting corpse.”
I love it!
One of my favorite lines from any movie is from the rather forgettable Freejack:
From Mel Gibson’s Payback:
Bronson (Kris Kristofferson): “Tell me where John is and I’ll finish you quick. I promise you won’t have to find out what your left ball tastes like. But if there’s even a bruise on him, I’ll make this last three weeks. I’ll give you a blood transfusion to keep you alive.”
From Invader Zim:
“…As soon as we destroy Tak, I’m going to feed your brains to my robot.” [Subverted, somewhat, by the two lines that followed in response.]
From Bend of the River—which I haven’t actually seen yet, to tell the truth. But Jimmy Stewart had a classic delivery of one I saw in an AMC preview:
“You’ll be seeing me. You’ll be seeing me. Everytime you bed down for the night, you’ll look back to the darkness and wonder if I’m there. And some night, I will be. You’ll be seeing me!”
TV’s Firefly had one, in particular, that came to mind immediately, but it’d kinda kill the mood of the thread if I posted it. (Fans can probably guess what it was, and who said it. :eek: )
From Trading Places: Beeks: “Back off! I’ll rip out your eyes and piss on your brain.”
Commando: “You’re a funny man, Sully, I like you. That’s why I’m going to kill you last.”
The Untouchables (Al Capone): “I want you to get this fuck where he breathes! I want you to find this nancy-boy Eliot Ness, I want him DEAD! I want his family DEAD! I want his house burned to the ground! I wanna go there in the middle of the night and piss on his ashes!”
This is from a game, not a movie, but anyway. In response to someone who is blackmailing a doctor:
“What if someone needs medical attention? What if you need medical attention?”
From “The Crying Game”, paraphrased, more or less:
“Have you ever tried to pick up your teeth with broken fingers?”
From an otherwise crappy David Arquette movie:
Hero: Was that a threat?
Villain: Oh, when I threaten you, you’ll know it.
Hero (genuinely confused): Now, was that a threat?
From Battlestar Galactica’s “Acts of Contrition”:
…delivered with trademark bone-chilling death glare.
The whole “To the pain” monologue from The Princess Bride.
From Tombstone:
Reminds me of this one from The Blues Brothers: