Sam: My little buddy has to use the facilities.
Max: Facilities be damned, I need a bathroom!
Sam (on the phone): Yes… yes… yes… NO! Really? Well, the same to you, mac. (hangs up)
Max: Another confused census taker?
Sam: No, actually it was the commissioner with another idiotic and baffling assignment.
Max: Does it involve wanton destruction?
Sam: We can only hope.
Monkey Island-
“Look behind you! a three headed monkey!”
MI2-
Guybrush: I’m on a whole new adventure.
Pirate: Growing a mustache?
Guybrush: No, Bigger than That
Pirate: A beard?!?
MI2-
“Marco Largo LaGrande,
Hell on sea or on land
The Good news: He’s dead
The Bad news: He’s bred”
4.MI-
“Wow! That’s the second biggest monkey head I’ve ever seen!”
5.MI-
Pirate: What’s your name?
Guybrush: It’s Guybrush.
Pirate: What kinda name is that?!
Guybrush: Well what’s yours?!
Pirate: Mancomb
6.Sam and Max, talking about a bomb
Sam: “Where should I put this thing so that it doesn’t hurt anyone we know or care about?”
Max:“Out the window, Sam. There’s nobody but strangers out there.”
7.Day of the Tentacle-
Bernard: “You know what they say: If you’re going to save the world, you got to kick some old ladies down the stairs.”
8.Day of the Tentacle
“Sometimes I do stupid stuff, and I don’t even know why…as if my body were controlled by some demented, sadistic puppet-master…”
Bernard Bernoulli
“Well, we all feel that way sometimes.”
Weird Ed Edison, “Day of the Tentacle”
Sorry I know it’s a little Lucasarts heavy, well it is all Lucasarts, but there are so many more great ones. I’ll get back to you after I do some more research…
Patrick Galloway carries the head of Lizbeth, who he has just bested, in his hands. It continues to rant and gnash at him about “the coming of the King” until he reaches a cliff, sets her head on fire, and tosses it over as it screams at him.
Galloway watches it fall and says calmly, “Ye were sayin’?”
Also from *Undying:
An ancient church is being shaken to its foundation by some strange cataclysm. Monks are falling left and right, and the Abbot walks to the center of the cathedral, raises his arms and intones “O Lord, protect me from harm.”
A moment later, a huge slab of stone falls from the ceiling and flattens him.
It’s better for what happens after the line that the line itself, but still a point of unexpected humor in the game.
One more from Undying (spolier):
Jeremiah Covenant rants at Galloway about the world that he is going to bring about with his new power, until Galloway interrupts him by extending his magical scythe and saying “Jeremiah… ye talk too much.”
He follows this by chopping Jeremiah’s head off. Much beheading in that game. grin
Glottis: Manny, Until now we scraped across the ground like rats, but from now on, we soar! Yeah! Like EAGLES…ON…POGO STICKS!
Manny(about his casino patrons): Thrill seeking rich folk with a poor grasp of statistics and probability.
Manny:(Paraphrased) I don’t understand how you can blow up ballons without lungs.
Clown: Well, you don’t have a tounge, but that doesn’t seem to shut you up, now does it?
I know it’s a little Lucasarts heavy, well it is all Lucasarts, but there are so many more great ones. I’ll get back to you after I do some more research…