“You know what? Fuck it, you dimwits are on your own,” spake Jesus, and lo, Jesus did command Bartholomew to give him a piggy-back ride home.
**…A single coherent sentence that you believe has never been written before **
O. J. Simpson announced today, “I did it.”
There’s an entire category of these that are just too easy.
Winner.
“Since the problems of famine, disease, war, poverty and the environment had been solved, people were finding themselves looking for new and exciting problems to tackle and. not finding any, many were driven to depression and sometimes even suicide until this all became somewhat problematic.”
“That’s a 1978 Jeep Grand Wagoneer Limited. The interior was upgraded after AMC took over Kaiser-Jeep,” she said.
I hate to break it to you guys (meaning you Dopers), but the room full of typing monkeys beat you to it with all of these.
PETA announced today its total and complete disbandment… effective immediately.
“Cockrings is what I’m all about, Jethro”, proclaimed Anita Bryant, as she vociferously charmed the fleet of dalahäst horses.
Yes, I’m trying to work “dalahäst horses” into my everyday vocabulary. What of it?
“George Bush and Britney Spears are up for nomination for the Nobel peace prize.”
George Bush? You lie!
Sorry. I’ve read that before.
The Detroit Lions have just won their third straight Super Bowl.
Chimps avoid Betelgeuse.
Does the shortest win?
Powdered gerbils.
I’d have to peruse the works of Pierre Boulle before I accept having never read that before.
FFFFFuck Offffffffffffff
Well, a quotation mark-enclosed Google search tends to confirm you might be right -but now I’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do if the feds ever seize my computer…
“Bother,” said Olivia, as Jack’s moustache leapt off and pursued the Governor General around the outhouse.
“There were so many things he wanted to say to express his disappointment that Christopher had once again failed to bring him a pot of hunny, but all he could get out was, ‘Is Pooh gonna hafta choke a bitch?’”